My friend got pregnant about 6 weeks after seeing her now husband ...they have been married for about a year and a half. The situation is this...her 32yr old husband will not initiate any sexual contact...yes he will hold her hand...etc....But when it comes to having sex WHich my friend has expressed she wants it and she does initiate but Doesnt want to always be the initiater she has told him she needs to know he wants her too. ...but he still isnt initiating it. They have gone a month without having sex....I know its not normal......He is now saying he is stressed out because of work....isnt sex usually a destresser? I dont know ..it really concerns me that He may not be attracted to her and doesnt want to have sex with her....or maybe could he be that shy and afraid of rejection that he doesnt initiate? Either way , they are probably going to see a therapist....
2007-01-26 02:06:58 · 11 answers · asked by karaoke742000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
MAybe he just wanted a baby? My mom married a guy who she didn't know was gay and he only slept with her until she got pregnanat with my brother and never after she had him. I think therapy is a good choice in this situation.
2007-01-26 02:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a stress reliever, but stress can decrease libido, especially in men. He's probably telling the truth. My husband and I used to have the same problem. I was always initiating, and getting turned down half the time. It was heartbreaking and frustrating. I felt like he wasn't attracted to me and didn't love me and I thought maybe he was having an affair. I found out after a couple of years that (he is a veteran of two wars) that he still had a lot of problems with combat-related PTSD and his anxiety and stress levels were so high, he just had no interest in sex. It took about 3 years to get things back to normal, but he has done some healing and now, he initiates as much as I do. There are a lot of men that have this problem, especially when work is stressing them out. Tell her to take him on a weekend getaway and destress, and see if that helps. Counselling could probably help this couple, too. Maybe he can learn better ways to cope with stress, so it won't affect his marriage so much. Tell your friend not to worry, it's a typical problem.
2007-01-26 10:55:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a destresser but if he says he's really tired, well, sex is kind of tiring. Not that I've tried it before but from what I know, sex is tiring (bad news) but is a good destresser (good news).
Your friend is fine. But her husband is really hard to tell. If he doesn't want to have sex with her, it'll also mean he might not like children. He may b afraid and shy but I don't see the point where he might not be attracted to her. Because if he isn't, they wouldn't be married right now.
Ask your friend to have a quiet talk with him. Pick the right time, like when he's free, or relaxing. Don't approach him when he's really not in the mood. Talk to him about why he doesn't want to have sex with her. But she has to be sure not to just go straight to the point. Start up slowly. Don't push it and go with the flow.
Just be sure she doesn't make it look like she wants to do it at that time when she's talking to him about their problems. They have to help each other out in each other's problems. That's what married couples should do.
2007-01-26 10:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by IdOlIsTiC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think seeing a therapist is the best thing they can do.
I think the husband maybe feeling he was pushed into a marriage that maybe he wouldn't be in if it weren't for the baby.
Sometimes getting married because of a pregnancy is not the right thing to do.
2007-01-26 10:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think they really need a therapist..
most likely he is cheating if he isn't trying to get intimate with her...i mean there has been times when i came home from work and didnt want to be bothered but that only usually lasted a day...
something major is going on and she needs to find out what it is...im just wondering why it took her so long to get this addressed...
2007-01-26 10:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds weird but he may be afraid of hurting the baby or pregnancy, it isn't uncommon for a man to fear that.
2007-01-26 10:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest she have sex with the guy from 6 questions ago - the "sexual impasse" guy.
2007-01-26 10:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is getting sex somewhere else.But you need to keep your nose out of it.Unless you are wanting him.Just because both of you are horny he may not be.
2007-01-26 10:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by Cherokee indian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So whats was the question??
2007-01-26 10:14:24 · answer #9 · answered by GrnEyedBandita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he need to be taken to doc, sexologist.
2007-01-26 10:25:42 · answer #10 · answered by vijay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋