When we first got married, I was the only one who had a checking account, but I ended up putting him on mine. Well, I soon discovered how poorly he managed money, because every month we had alot less in the bank, than my checkbook register showed. I would sit for hours trying to rebalance my register, and every month I would discover that he had been using his debit card and not writing down the purchases in the check book and loosing the receipts. This habit caused us to overdraft our account more than once. Even after I took him off my account and made him get his own, he kept doing it. I can't tell you how many times we have fought and argued over him doing this. He was giving me at least 1/2 his paycheck to pay bills, but he was still overdrawing his account, so when he would go to cash his paycheck and get me the cash, the bank would first take out whatever amount he was overdrawn. He has been out of work on medical leave for 4 months, and just went back. I want to start fresh.
2007-01-26 01:38:34 · 11 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you to those who didn't suggest divorce. That is NOT an option! Divorce is offered as a solution far too often. People need to try to fix their problems, not just give up.
2007-01-26 01:55:01 · update #1
you should take control of the checkbook and have him close his account because of the overdrafts. Pay all the bills and give him an allowance for the week
2007-01-26 01:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My only advice to u is to get him to realize he has a problem and the only way to get it on track is for you to basically give him "cash" to survive on for the week, what ever would be his "alotted" money to spend freely as he pleases.. i would cut up his atm card and give him zero access to the check book.. its sounds cruel but its not..ur not saying he cant have any money, ur saying here, this is what is left over , do what u will but once its gone its gone..
My husband is bad with managing money as well, he'll be the first to admit he's an impulse buyer and that he sucks at managing the bills.. so i do the bills.. I give him a certain amount of "cash" to have as his own to buy what he wants but it has to last him the week, now on occassion he'll see something and he'll ask if we have it in our account and if we do , then i tell him theres enough money to get it, so he'll get it, but if theres not unfortunately he has to wait.. So i dont control the money in an over powering way, but i secure our household needs before handing whats left over.. and after a few months of this, he saw we actually had a savings account growing, we had all our bills paid, and had a little left over for "whatever" stuff, and he liked that.. and so he didnt have a problem with it ..
2007-01-26 02:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to rip up is debit card, or give it to you to hold and give it to him only when he needs it and make him give you the receipt. I don't recall the exact URL but if you goodle openoffice you will find a spreadsheet you can download and use that to set up a budget to keep track of what money you spend and for what. He may be "losing" the receipts so that you don't know what he is spending the money on also and by doing these things you can see where the money is going and for what and if it is that he is losing the receipts he won't mind a system that helps you keep better track of the money.
2007-01-26 02:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was never taught as a child how to manage money. Now that he is an adult it may be hopeless to try! If it were my husband, I wouldn't allow him access to the money! No matter what kind of equipment he needs, you have to pay your bills first. If he gets mad, oh well...thats life sometimes!
2016-05-24 01:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should just offer to do it and that way it will be taken care of and since he is not good with money or managing it this will be a big help to him and to the marriage. I wish you the best.
Starting fresh by doing this will be great:) I just want to commend you for wanting to stick by your husband and marriage through all of this and you wanting to help the situation then just wanting out of the marriage and a divorce because you cannot handle it... There should be more women and wives out there like you.
http://www.moneymatters.org
2007-01-26 01:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With my ex I did the banking all the time. Well one time he thought he could handle it better but realized quite quickly he could not. He did the same thing with his debit card. And the same thing happened with us. Not trying to be a b**ch but I finally told him to just give me the debit card and tell me how much he wanted to last for each week and that stopped the problems a lot. good luck. ;o)
2007-01-26 01:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does starting fresh mean replacing him?If not you need to get him into debt management classes and if he won't go then you for sure have a financial headache on your hands and you will end up being responsible for almost everything.Other than counseling and divorce I don't see a way out if he doesn't try to handle himself better.
2007-01-26 01:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can talk to him about this matter I would suggest he be put on a weekly budget. No ATM card or checkbook, just cash. If he is reasonable he should know he has a problem.
2007-01-26 01:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DO THE BANKING
2007-01-26 02:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it yourself.
2007-01-26 01:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by shonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋