how would you feel and what would you do?? advice please
2007-01-26 01:37:28 · 16 answers · asked by Sweetheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, I just saw a bunch of porn sites in our internet history this morning. I already have trust issues with my husband because he is very dishonest. I was on the couch waiting for him to get done doing some "homework" his seargent gave him (he's in the army). We were in the same damn room, what a creep! Anyway, I also found his x-girlfriend's number in his cell phone, which he left this morning. And a phone sex number. Needless to say, we probably won't be intimate for a while. And I'm sure our marriage is going nowhere. If your situation is just the porn and everything else is fine, it's probably just normal guy stuff. If there's any other related things going on or dishonesty, you have every right to be mad.
2007-01-26 04:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I've been there, so sad. I woke up one night and he wasn't in the bed, so I got up and I saw him masturbating and looking at porn...I was devastated, so after that I started checking on his laptop and he had all kinds of videos and websites, I was soooooooo disappointed, and sad, and angry. He does it every day… (and the thing is, we have great sex.. almost every day!!!)
So, I have talked to him many times and told him how much it hurts my feelings and makes me sick and he says he won’t do it again, but always goes back to it. One day I told him I had to leave him because of that cuz I just can’t take it, he started crying and promised me he will NEVER do it again and he will install a CD to take all the stuff from his computer…guess what??? He’s still doing it…
So last week I told him…’ok, you win, I give up, I’ll try to get into it even though it goes against my principles and values, I will be like you…just because I love you so much’ so I ordered one toy on line (it’s bigger than his!) and I’m going to save tons of websites in my laptop with naked guys(no porn just hot guys, ohh and my new screen saver is a very hot firefighter ;) which he didn’t like at all!!) I will get in the bedroom and lock the door and be there for a long time with my toy and my laptop…we’ll see if he likes that, and I’m going to do it until he gets sick of it.
That is the only thing I can think of, it may work it may not, I just want to give it a try.
I know he loves me and I love him too, but we are just not in the same page on that one :o(
2007-01-26 08:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by none 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the problem with women! Your man sneeks around looking at porn because you are closed minded and will freak on him if you found out. Understand....he is looking at women he has no chance of being with. Men are NOT like women! Men are very visually stimulated. In general, men who sneek around looking at porn have women who do not dress sexy or try to live up to their man's fantasy.
Don't get caught up in the fact that you are over weight...it doesn't matter! Big women can be as sexy as anyone.
Be your man's fantasy woman, find out what he likes looking at. Enhance you sex life and become closer as a couple by sharing and finding out why he's looking at porn behind your back. Most import...DON'T judge him! It will make it worse for both of you.
Most of the women who post here are closed minded. I'm sure they'll say that he is cheating and it wrong. These women are kidding themselves. They either don't have a man, they have a man who is dissatisfied with their sex lives, aren't open sexually or emotionally,or is looking at porn behind their back.
All I'm saying is find out why he's looking at porn and don't judge him....I'm sure he loves you. Don't assume he doesn't! The other option is that he doesn't look at porn and goes out to live out his fantasy with a real woman. You make the chioce!
2007-01-26 02:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The fact he is looking at porn has nothing to do with you at all. The fact it ruins people's relationships is the lack of understanding as to why it is done. Try watching with him and watch how it will spice things up between you. Or make your own porn. Be a good partner and fullfill his fantasies rather than persecuting him for them.
2007-01-26 02:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by kobisky 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would be a bit upset and disappointed. I would feel like maybe the spark in our marriage is going out. Maybe he doesn't find me a spicy little thing anymore(maybe I just don't do the job anymore)....so, from there I would just try to bring spice things up a bit myself. Try things like taking baths together, cuddling up next to himtight while falling asleep on his chest, and maybe some sexy(or even) risque lingerie to slip into after that hot bath together.
2007-01-26 02:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by Daddy's girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i imagine you may be over wondering this somewhat. i'm a woman also or maybe if i don't like the conception of searching a lesbian video on my bf's telephone, i do not imagine it is that large of a deal. i ought to easily imagine that he became gazing it to assist him in the course of the cases that he facilitates himself. Your husband can extremely be doing this so as that he would not positioned a lot stress on you to have sex with him. it isn't about him searching those females more desirable alluring or him electing to visual demonstrate unit videos in selection to drowsing with you. I propose per chance he receives into mattress at nighttime and prefer to have sex yet you're busy doing chores and quite of including even more desirable stress on your life, he only relieves himself. If it is bothering you, per chance only refer to him about it. i'm particular he received't ideas pondering he did not do a lot to conceal the actual incontrovertible actuality that he has this video. good luck and that i wish this facilitates!
2016-10-16 03:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they only do it behind your back because if you knew you'd freak out.
Guys are visual creatures. We like pictures of naked women. Any women who think their husbands don't do that are simply married to guys who hide it better.
Instead of fighting it, try to go along with it. The woman in the picture is not a threat to you.
2007-01-26 02:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dated a guy that did this. We were engaged and it ruined our relationship. I felt like crap about myself and sick to look at him. He denied everything and was a big fat liar... so it worked out for the best. Of course it makes you feel not good, but you should definately try and address the issue head on.
2007-01-26 01:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been there hun. My ex turned out to be a porn addict. If he isn't willing to stop or seek help, then you need to leave him. It is disrespectful and there is NO reason that he needs to look at that cr@p.
2007-01-26 05:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by xquis81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would be mad because he didn't share them with me. i don't understand why women feel "threatned" by these pictures. They are pictures of people your husband will never meet. i personally love to look at porn with my husband. it's nice to fantasized every now and then. it puts the spice back where it might have been lost at
2007-01-26 04:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by mj_jll 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋