When women cheat it is because their husbands neglet them but when a man cheats it is because he is scum?

Question

I see women on the internet talk about their husbands neglet them so they need a lover and I see them also dog men out for cheating. So I wondered isn't it possible a man cheats because his wife neglects him and women cheat becasue they are trash too?

Answer 1

I see a lot of hypocrisy on this subject. It works both ways. Cheating in a marriage occurs because of either selfishness or neglect.

Answer 2

Laura, right on.If you read some of the question here some sound silly and some need a little common sense.Ive been married a long time and Id have to say the first 20 years where great. My wife was really super in bed. But like all things, you know what they say "all good thing come to an end" I know what most women would say to this" what did you do to improve your sex life the answer is not always believable so I`ll say what ever had to be done. Yes it works both ways.

Answer 3

I believe people cheat because the BELIEVE that their needs have a greater chance of being met by their affair partner.

My ex-wife would probably cite that I was neglecting her. I claim otherwise, but do admit that I did not do the things that SHE wanted me to do the most.

I believe, in large part, the same is true for men who cheat. They may have a SAHM wife who cooks, cleans, etc. because she loves her husband and wants to do all these things for him.

The problem is, that's not what he wants. He wants wild, passionate hang from the chandelier or on-top the fridge sex several times a week.

But since she doesn't want that, she wrongly assumes that he shouldn't want that either, and tries to do what she would like instead.

I think that anyone who cheats, man or woman is being selfish. Especially if they have not had a serious conversation with their partner AND gone to a professional counsellor to see if there is any way to improve the situation.

People cheat because they believe they can better get their needs met.

This may not be true. It may be that they don't communicate their needs well. Perhaps they speak in ways that shut down their partner. For example, if a woman says to her husband, "You don't love me..." and he does love her, he'll probably disregard what she is saying, because she is totally wrong. He knows in his heart and head that he loves her, and from his perspective, she doesn't understand him.

Or worse, he gives up. From his side, in his mind, he is going over all the things he does to demonstrate love, and she comes back with this (to him) insane idea that he doesn't love her. If she can't see his love, he begins to wonder what the point is, becomes discouraged, and eventually gives up.

However, if she recognizes that he is showing love, but perhaps not in the fashion she desires, she CAN and probably should acknowledge that, and then direct him to change some of those ways so they make since.

She can tell him that she sees him pitching and working hard (sports analogy may be a great way to get his attention). She sees him throwing pitches, but they are not strikes. So give him credit for throwing the pitches, but then guide him to throwing strikes. I.E. doing the things that really speak love to her.

The genders could be reversed, but the idea is the same. Many times our partner doesn't see our actions as love because they have a different idea regarding what love looks like, how it's expressed, etc.

Sorry for the rant, this sparked a mental tidal wave of ideas.

Answer 4

Yes, very much so! But as has been brought out recently, women have covered for each others cheating to the point that the husband often does not even suspect!
Personally, that sounds to me like they are cheating because they can, not out of neglect!

Answer 5

You are right on both counts. Some men and women cheat because they are neglected by their spouse. Then some cheat because they are unhappy with their lives. Another group cheats because they want more sex (different) then what they can get at home. Because everyone is different you have a million reason for why they do what they do..

Answer 6

Sometimes women do cheat because of that reason but it is still no excuse or reason to cheat or hurt your spouse in this way. Yes a man can cheat for this reason too but it still does not make it right... To me both men and women alike should not be cheating and it is wrong and there is really no excuse for it no matter who is doing the cheating. It is wrong sinful and immoral and there is not one worse then any other for doing it and why.

Answer 7

Of course it is! Some women are trashy and immoral, as are some men. Then, some women are frigid ice queens bent on driving their husbands away (and vice versa, minus the "queens" part).

Still, there really isn't a "good" excuse for adultery. Wrong is wrong. If trouble exists the couple should work through it together by communication and counseling if necessary.

Answer 8

Yes; there's no excuse for either partner to cheat. If you are unhappy and feeling neglected, go to counseling or get a divorce. Either fix things or get out of the relationship. There is never a case when cheating isn't wrong.

Answer 9

There is more to being dedicated in a marriage than just not having sex with anyone else.

In a sense, most women who are being cheated on are more secure in their marriage than men who are. Women who are cheating are much more likely to leave (or want to leave) their husband for the new man. Men are rarely seeking out a replacement wife - they just want the intimacy their wife won't give them.

Answer 10

We all want to feel loved regardless. Most people state to go to a counselor to work on the marriage or relationship. Counseling only works if both parties want to work on the issues. If one refuses then counseling is a waste of money and time. Ending a marriage is costly if it is disputed because one feels entitled to the other. so cheating is just a tip of the iceberg you will never find one answer to why people cheat.