should women who get child support have to show what they spend the money on?

Question

in my state there are no laws that make the woman show what she spends the child support on. how do i know that shes not using my hard earned money to pay for her new boyfriends truck note. if a woman has the right to kill my child before it is born without my permission why cant i have the right to see where my child support payment is going? if a woman can get married and after she has a few kids and wants to run off with the pool boy, we say fine but why should i have to pay her now? just becase i have a pair of testicals, why does that mean i pay money when the kids had all they needed at home but now shes with her new man. i think that there needs to be more rights for fathers dont you? i think i should be able to see where the child support is going and when it comes out that she is using the money to pay for her new nails or getting her hair done i think we should put a stop to it.

Amdrmgirl ill bet youre the type of mother im talking about, did your last payment help your kids or your new boyfriend

anyone who gets angry at me for this question must be feel threatened by the thought of someone telling you that you actually have to spend the money on the kid. oh by the way its called child support not mommies never ending paycheck

Answer 1

Too bad you didn't get custody of your kids. Then you'd know that it costs way more money than what you pay her to raise those kids. She goes "in the hole" every month because she has them. Grow up!

Answer 2

In my opinion, it's not all about the money or the child support payment. A lot of times the mother is not even getting half of what she will have to put into taking care of a child. Say for instance, a mother with a child gets $350 to $450 per month. That is a help but think about all the other things that the mother or the parent in custody of the child has to do. Discipline, helping with homework, driving them here and there, emotional support, etc. There is much more to it than money.

Most mothers do not take the money and get their hair and nails done with it. But if they do every one in a while, so what? As long as that child is being taken care of (clothes, food, a place to stay, some of the thing that want, all of the things they need, not being abused, going to school). I am not a mother myself but I have friend that are single parents. I also know guys who say they would rather get custody of their child or take the child shopping themselves than to put the money in the ex-wife's or ex-girlfriend's hands. That is so immature and stupid.

I have to question men like that - is it really about the child support check (which by the way usually doesn't measure up to the out of pocket expenses that the mother incurs) or is it about your anger and feelings for the ex-wife or girlfriend? Guys, if you see no signs of neglect or mistreatment, as long as the mother is not drugging up your money or spending it unwisely (which I would say spending it on her new man is not a good use), then grow up and don't worry about what she's spending it on.

I believe that's why there isn't a law because people would be in court all day long trying to determine how a $350 check was spent. I don't think any judge has time to deal with that.

Answer 3

No they dont need to account for it....I pay a large amount of child support, I do it gladly since it is allowing my son to still attend his regular school, allowed him to stay in the home. That being said, almost 2/3 of the support goes to the house payment, 1/4 pays the utilities, that leaves 1/5 of the money for clothing, food and entertainment. A place to live is not free, even if you argue that she would have a place to live anyway, it is considerably more expensive to provide a home for a child (with no child she could share an aprtment with a friend, get an efficiency aprtment, etc). I am very proud of supporting my son and keeping the disruption to his life at a minimum, my new wife is also very proud of me for doing the right thing. Keep in mind that these kids are innocent bystanders in these divorces.

Answer 4

Up until about six months ago, I worked for the child support agency and your question is the most common question that I heard. Most men claimed that they would have no problems paying child, if they knew what their ex-partner was spending the money on the children and not on drugs, pokies, ciggies, booze or sex. Unfortunately I had to inform them that under legislation the child support agency could not specify how the custodial parent spent the money.

But, I agree with you, a custodial parent should be able to justify how they spend the money, especially when I have seen some women assessed to receive about $1200 per fortnight in child support.

However, the justification would need to be within reason, nobody should be expected to keep a list or journal of everything purchased or paid for the child (eg. electricity).

Answer 5

You know, I see your hurt from being taken advantage of - but... I get child support and believe me, its never enough. My daughter will be 16 in March. I raised both my kids basically alone. Yes, I remarried - but he paid more for my kids then my ex. My ex paid minimal amounts for the past 12 years! I just now made an increase in his child support (only b/c I couldn't work anymore). I've paid dearly to raise my children. My ex hardly got them, told me in front of his children that now that I had my husband, he didn't need to pay for them. He turned his back. The school clothes, food, school fees, lunches, recreational, health care, etc. See what I'm saying? It all adds up. Even tho you feel your paying thru the nose (and some men are - don't get me wrong). I just feel it is for the kids. So many people can walk away from their children (men AND women) it ends up hurting the kids. So, when you think she's paying for her bf's truck note or her nails, think again b/c it takes alot of money to raise kids nowadays. Try not to get so angry. I do understand. Take care.

Answer 6

Your in pain I see.
It's not only women who get child support dear. Men also get it.
IF you know the kids have a rof over their heads, food in their bellies, and know they aren't freezing to death, then you can pretty much know that the child support is being used to care for the children.

There are laws. You just didn't dig deep enough. IF YOU suspect the children are doing without, that's YOUR RIGHT to prove it and and do something about it.

IF "people" who receive child support had to prove where the money goes, then the government would even take a step further and expect ALL people to explain where every last dime goes. Are you ready for them to do that to you?

IF you suspect the kids are doing without. Report it. Then she'll have to prove a thing or two.
BUT if you know they have food, a roof, then your sh*t out of luck.

You also have to stop and think really hard if you have more money in your pocket left after a payday, than what you did before the divorce and support started. More often than not.................your living higher on the hog!! NOT the KIDS! And that what Child support is all about.....THE KIDS!!

STOP whinning and grow up and stop the oh me oh my act and be a father!!!

Answer 7

I'm a woman and I totally agree with what you are saying. Fathers do get the short end of the deal. I say talk to your lawyer and see what he/she can get done about this. And in case you didn't know, some of the child support is allowed to go toward household expenses, but not all of it. If you see that your kids aren't getting taken care of the way that their mother is suppose to be, then I would be fighting for custody of the kids. I wish I could be of more help, but I honestly believe that there should be a law allowing you to know where she is spending that money! Other women may put me down about saying all this, but that doesn't matter. Fathers ought to have a whole lot more rights than they have, but only if your one to step up to the plate and take care of what is yours, not talking about you. I wish you all the luck in the world with this, and hopefully you can have something done about your ex wife's deceiving ways!

Answer 8

here's a thought. if you don't want to have to pay child support, why don't you try to get custody of the kids?

she has the kids. that means she is taking care of them. if she happens to have extra money because you are paying child support (money that now does not have to come from her pocket to care for the kids), then it is her business what she does with it. if however the kids are not being taken care of properly and she's using the money for her own benefit (or someone else's), then maybe she's not fit to have the kids. and like i said before you should try to get custody of them and then she would be the one to have to pay child support.

men really need to get over thinking that they are paying the ex. the money is for the kids. and as long as the kids are being well taken care of, she can do whatever she wants with the extra money she may have.

Answer 9

Are your kids living in a house? One that has running water, electricity, heating, phone, internet, furniture? Do they eat food? Wear clothes? Use school supplies? Then the child support money you pay is being used correctly, i.e. for their benefit. You don't need any other proof.

Answer 10

Hold on a second... I was a divorced mother with 2 kids. My husband ran around with everyone and I got to stay and take care of my children. The lousy few dollars that he gave me every week (when he chose to) didn't pay for anything when you consider the fact that I had to pay the rent, the car, the car insurance , the food, the doctor bills, the dentists bills, clothes for the kids, school supplies, etc, etc... I had to pay most of my salary to a babysitter because I had to work to keep a roof over their heads. You think she is spending it on herself???? Are you giving her millions a week??? Do you even pay attention to your children??? Or are you just so mad at her that the kids will suffer? You made them too. So grow up and get on with your life. Oh - by the way - if you do love your children then stop complaining and be their father. My kids HATE their father now - but not by anything I said. THEY SAW HIM FOR WHAT HE REALLY WAS - AND HE IS A LONELY OLD MAN NOW. I had the luxury of always being there for them and seeing them grow to what they are now.

Answer 11

Believe me I understand your frustration. My husband is in the same boat. We pay her every month, plus 67% of any medical cost and 1/2 of all extra curricular activities. And believe me she signs him up for ALL of them, whether he wants to play or not. (which also screw up the weekend visitations, which I"m sure is the point-she does whatever she can to interfere with visitations).
I do know that it costs a lot to raise a kid, however, she is also responsible for some of the financial burden. It is her kid too, in fact she's the one that decided in high school to have a baby so her boyfriend could never leave her. (He's not innocent either, he could have used condoms instead of believing she was on the pill, but still she knew she wasn't and lied) anyway......If you combine our child support and the added we give, with what she is responsible for, she spends more on him every month then we spend on our 2 kids. I just tell myself "6 more years" every month when I'm writing out the check. Then she will have to find a way to have her car payments paid by someone else. (Yes she needs a car, but not a $35,000.00 car), because this bank will be closed for business. I guess what kills me is she still complains he doesn't pay enough. As you said, just because he's the one with testicles, doesn't make him 100% financially responsible. Where is her share in all this?
She wants us to pay for half of his clothes, sports, and whatever comes up in addition to child support. We've told her No. We did for a while, but she sends him to our house wearing sweats or stained clothes, or they are too small, then we have to go out and buy him clothes for our house to wear. He has a complete wardrobe here and he is here 4 days a month, because she won't send him clothes. Why should we help her? I have to stop, I could write a book about this.......................one last thing, We would gladly have him for half the time instead of every other weekend, but she won't allow it and since we live in a different school district, the court won't grant joint custody, we already went that route. They said it would be a hardship for him to have to get up 30 minutes earlier so I could take him to school during the week.
When it comes to child support issues in the court system, it is still, very much, a women's world.