should we divorce???

Question

me and my husband have been married almost a year. we have no kids, and nothing together really. he never wants to do anything with me, he is obsessed with playing video games in ALL his free time. we never go have fun. he never talks about his life with me, work or whatever. we argue alot and fight. i've tried talking to him many many times but nothing ever comes from it, ive tried to work with it but im so sick of feeling ignored and unwanted. i dont know whats wrong from his side, he never tells me anything when i ask. i dont know what to do anymore.i do love him and wish it could be worked out but neither of us are happy, and he doesnt try to work anything out. i have a chance to leave him and if i do we will probobly divorce. should we?

Answer 1

Why are you asking us this important, life altering question? I'm sure there is more to it than this one paragraph.

Have you tried marriage counseling?

Answer 2

The first few years of marriage are always the hardest, it does get easier. Do you get home from work before he does? If so disconnect the video game and hide the D**N thing. When he asks where it is or what you did with it, tell him the two of you have to talk some things out and you'll give it back to him later, but that you didn't want to have to compete with the distraction of the game. Then tell him exactly how you feel, just don't be accusitory about it, own your feelings and express why you feel this way but try not to place all the blame on him. Offer various solutions in order to effect some changes, explaining that you feel like an outsider in your own marriage. Tell him, if it comes down to it that you don't want a divorce, you want help putting your relationship back on the right track. Communication is the foundation of any relationship and perhaps if your husband sees just how upset you've become, it will wake him up enough to do something.

Good luck.

Answer 3

ALL couples argue and fight. With my wife, it usually ends up as an eye opener for both of us. It mostly stems from lack of communication, and we get a chance to vent, release some of our built up anguish. Our relationship gets stronger. Not to say that it's a good thing to argue and fight, but we've learned to communicate better, and we haven't had an argument/fight in a looong time. That being said, it doesn't seem this is the case for you. It seems like the relationship is getting worse over time.

A fundamental issue/problem for most relationships such as yours can be worked out with communication. It seems that you are trying, but you're not getting the type of response you desire. Remember, communication is a two way street. It's not just asking him how his life is. You should tell him exactly how you feel about him (you love him), but you're not happy with the tide of the relationship. Try to get him to reciprocate his feelings, whether he's feeling the same way or not. Don't threaten him with divorce, but he needs to know that you are capable of doing so. Most men will think that you won't leave, you can't leave, etc. (Don't know if you can sustain yourself (job), but if you do, then better fuel for your fire so to speak) Do your best to tell him how you feel, in a calm, sincere way. Even if he doesn't tell you how he feels, he needs to understand how you feel. Do everything you can not to spark an argument. Do everything you can to keep it civil. Do it when both of you can talk with no distraction (not while he's playing games in other words). BUT don't prolong this discussion...have it sooner rather than later.

Without more specific information about your particular relationship, this is probably the best way to go about it...speaking from experience.

Of course, your decision to divorce should be entirely your discretion, not what answers you receive on Yahoo. That being said, after you lay ALL your feelings on the table (including the thought of divorce), his response will answer your question, whether to stay or leave.

Remember, this person you are married to is someone that you potentially will have children with. Whatever his response will be will be a representation of the type of person that may be fathering your children someday. Not to mention may be a person you will have to depend on; health wise, money wise, welfare wise, you know things a man and a woman that love each other do to care for each other.

Answer 4

well, honestly I can't tell you exactly what to do because it isn't my life but I can tell you my experience.
I was married for seven years to a man that was really a boy that never decided to grow up. He is now 26 years old and still does things like he did when he was 15. He plays games constantly, doesn't have a job worth anything.
I have two kids with him. But I was tired of being held down.
I told him that I was tired of paying all the bills (I have a great job) and he was going to have to step up to the plate and do something or we were over. Well our divorce was final last year.
It was honestly the best thing that I have done.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

Tell him exactly how you are feeling and exactly what you need out of this relationship. If he still does nothing then maybe marriage counseling. It's gonna take both of you to make it work if he isn't even willing to try then I'm sorry but I don't see where you 2 have a chance at a happy marriage. Do what makes you happy, why spend the rest of your life in a miserable marriage.

Answer 6

Well I am married and don't believe in divorce, but what's right for me is not always right for everyone else.
marriage is 50/50 or it will never work, and you won't find happiness.So in your case u don't have kids and he refuses to meet you half way. Than I would say it sounds like, if u do you just might have another shot at love some where down the road.
Someone to love you, and appreciate you and what you.

Answer 7

you already know the answer to this question. you are not happy and he is not trying. it takes 2 to make a marriage work. it is OK to leave. it does not make you a bad person. 1 person can only do so much and if the other is not even willing to try, it will not work out. i'm not going to tell you what to do. i think you know in your heart already what you need to do. i'm just going to tell you that whatever you decide is ok. you have the right to be happy and to be in a relationship with someone who cares enough bout you to at least try.

good luck to you. i hope it works out.

Answer 8

It's sad to think it, but when it's over, it's over! If you're that miserable, in that short a period of time, you might as well call it quits, and move on. No use prolonging the inevitable. Don't rush right out, and do it all over again though. Take some time and get to know yourself first. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

sounds like you're together out of habit and maybe for him its easier to do nothing rather than something, maybe he doesnt really realize how close you are to leaving, its got to be worth one more try at sitting him down and telling him, sounds like you have nothing left to loose and if he wants to separate too, then you'll have a chance ar a new life, knowing you did everything you could, good luck

Answer 10

Jenny,

Do what makes you feel right with your self!
If you've done what you can to fix. . . repair .. . . adjust the relationship and it's still not working ..perhaps it's better to start over with a new partner.

Remember to know what it is in a relationship you need, then know what you want ... then decide what you can tolerate Before you go shopping ..... always try on the shoes before you buy 'em.

Good Luck !

Answer 11

YES .......most definetely !! i'm sorry to say .....but it seems he does not love you the way that u love him !!
The BEST part is that it's only been a year and you have no children together !! You are a wonderful woman and deserve to be treated like a princess by a man that unconditionally loves you !! Divorce him and move on - life is too short babe !!
Good luck to you and if ever need me - write me !! : )