AM I a home Wrecker?

Question

Me married- Never in Love,Her married never in Love- She has kids...we met on line looking for friendship- we met in person and fell in Love. We talked about being together fulltime some day. Anyway,She got discovered by her husband. I have told her to go make it work at home. Figure out what she wants. She has been told by her councelor to not contact me. she still calls me. I have warned her to count the cost. She needs to work it out at home then come find me. I would be there 4 her NOW but she needs to choose. She is playing both sides. I love her enought to let her go. if I keep talking to her it is not good for me and certainly not fair to her situation at home. Was I a home wrecker? Did she ever really Love me? Will I not be true to my word if I cut off all contact?

Answer 1

First of all, I do understand and sympathize with your plight. You would be surprised, maybe, to know how often this happens. There's an old classic movie, "Brief Encounter," that dramatizes your situation...Yes, you are right to tell her to try to make it work at home, and to figure out what she wants. She does need to choose. Have you told her that you would leave your wife?
You say that she is "playing both sides." I don't think that is quite the case. She is understandably fearful of jeopardizing her children and her future. When there are children, it is difficult indeed, to end a marriage.
Yes, if you keep talking to her, it is not good for you, and not fair to either of your spouses.
Please do not think of yourself as a home wrecker. She was not happy at home, and you did not cause that unhappiness. You offered her love, joy, companionship, emotional intimacy that neither one of you had at home. Yes, I 'd say she did and does love you, and although she may regret the awkward position she has placed you in, she needs you. You need to assure her that you love her, that you do love her enough to let her go if that must be; and if she chooses to leave the marriage, you will be there for her. I wish the best for both of you.

Answer 2

If GOD was without mercy then we would all be up the creek without a paddle. There are reactions to every action and every word we speak here in this life. I am 41 years old and I was a home wrecker when I was 19 years old. 22 years ago and it still haunts me. I damaged the lives of at least 5 people if not many more to include 1 child. All because I was selfish, arrogant and a sex freak. I have been saved for the last ten years and I am a new person. I am happily married and have wonderful children for over a decade now. I will however never forget the results of my actions. I can't fix them but I can learn from them. We are eternally forgiven under the blood of Christ. This means that my punishment has already been taken by Jesus. It does not mean that it was ok to do what I did. Hope that helps.

Answer 3

You would think that if she was never in love with her husband that once he found her out she would of told him that she was in love with you and it is time to end things...it does not mean that she does not love you the reason she is still playing both sides may be because she has kids with him. If she is big on her kids having a mom and dad then that could explain it. I do not think you are a home wrecker reason being it takes two to cheat not just once. It does not matter if you fell in love and she had kids, everything happens for a reason. Tell her that she needs to cut off contact and needs to figure out what she wants without the constant reminder of you. If her feelings are real then her keeping contact with you could be making it harder for her and she is not even aware. Also ask her if she stayed in a loveless marriage so long for her kids or is it she loves her husband and just told you she did not because you are not in love with your wife and she was attracted to you? I mean it is a difficult situation but you need to let her go if it is meant to be you will find each other and you need to tell her that as well. Hope things work out for you~~

Answer 4

Of course you're a home wrecker! How could you think you aren't? You need to cut it off. You two have done enough damage. What aout your spouses? The kids? You guys not being able to control your emotions and acting senselesly affected the lives of so many people. You may have ruined both of your families. You said the both of you had never been in love? What the hell were you doing married then? Someone's definately lying. Let her get it through her thick skull that she made a mistake and that mistake was you. Her family is more important than a fling. As for her loving you - I'm assuming she does or else she would've broken it off.

Answer 5

If you are both married the last thing you need to do is chat someone else up for a relationship. You need to be chatting to the person you married and so does she!

Yes, you're a homewrecker if you enable her behavior. You're also wrecking your own home.

Forget her number and try to remember why you fell in love with your wife and got married in the first place. Marriage is no picnic 100% of the time. Sometimes it is dull, sometimes it is thrilling, sometimes it is annoying, sometimes it is satisfying....but you can only whether those momments by communicating with your WIFE (and for her, her husband), not some stranger/chance fling online.

Answer 6

You are both home wreckers?
You met and fell in love! You,re having a laugh!
Both of you should live in the REAL world. I don,t
think for a minute she did love you. It was fantasy
land. Something to brighten her day with instead
of living the day to day life of cooking, shopping,
cleaning and looking after the kids. If she really
loved you she would be with you now. All you
seem to think about is what people think of you!
Not once have you mentioned your wife. I bet
she thinks she is in a happy marriage. You need
to sort your own life out before bothering about
some 'other' womans life. And if you,re home life
is loveless and you,re wife is unhappy as you make
out to be. Do her a favour - let her go!

Answer 7

I don't get it - how can you get married and not love the person. I think these internet affairs are a fairytale illusion and you only think this person will make you happy. Actually you're just hurting others more and, in the long run, no one will want to trust you. She's probably got a string of other guys strung along like you. Playing games that's what what the internet thing is all about - not real.

Answer 8

I'm not here to judge by any means, she is confused. It is not that easy to leave when you have kids, plus, its scary not knowing what will happen. She is probably going thru a "guilt trip" in her mind. If she leaves him for you, will the children hate her? If she leaves, will you love them? How will they adjust? Its all laying on her mind. I do believe she loves you but she is torn. Some people have a hard time deciding things (like me) and they are so afraid of the "what ifs" just try to be there for her. Give her time. Make a date in your mind, how long you'll wait.
As far as a "home wrecker" um IDK - its not a good thing what either one of you did, your both married but I can understand how it happens.
I hope the best for you. Good luck.

Answer 9

I'm a firm believer that if a person strays outside the marriage then there is something wrong at home, BUT I still wouldn't want to mess w/ someone that is in another relationship. Not only will it hurt MANY involved (kids?) but it will bring about bad karma. remember what goes around comes around. How about your sit. you said that you are married? how would that make you feel if your wife was still w/ you but had found another? Used I bet!!!!
Just think very long and hard. If you are not happy in your marriage and she is not happy in hers, then get divorced and be w/ each other, that is the grown up solution.

Answer 10

First of all you didn't go on line looking for "friendship". You were looking for someone to fool around with. Well you found her. How did you expect this to all end up? Now everything is a mess. This is just how these things end up. Cut off ALL contact and be done with it. Stay off the computer. I am sure you already have plenty of "friend". Work on your own commitment.