Just wondering how they treat you
2007-01-26 00:01:22 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry question doesn'tmake sense, Just wanto know how people treat their partners children or how kids feel about their step parents
2007-01-26 00:03:18 · update #1
i am in that situation....
as in any relationship, there are ups and there are downs...
it's not easy
2007-01-26 00:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by an_articulate_soul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a step child, have a step mom and step dad, and I have two step children. I got it covered from both angles. I believe, if the bio parent is parenting well, and expecting their child to behave well and doesn't let them get away with treating adults disrespectfully, it will make things way easier. Also, the step parent should treat the child with love, respect, and a desire to better their life, not necessarily be MOM or DAD, but to take the role of concerned adult, be willing to make HUGE sacrifices, and go out of their way to establish a bond.
2007-01-26 08:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didnt read all the answers so far, got to Chloes and it put me off. She says you should love them like your own. I wonder if she has got any kids? Its impossible to love other kids as your own unless you have brought them up. My step kids are ok - age 20, 16 and 14. I rub along ok with the older one but the two youngest resent me, i think, especially the youngest, although i had no part in the break up of parents' marriage. The 16 year old is polite and tolerates me - his father wouldnt let him behave in any other way. The 14 yr old doesnt come round much.
Don't put up with any crap. Be firm but fair and kind. I'm sure they are step family forums on the net that could support you if you are having probs.
2007-01-26 11:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in this situation. My husband has a daugher from a previous partner, I have a daughter from a previous partner, and we have a daughter together. This can be a very difficult thing...especially since his ex is a raving lunatic who tries to make our lives hell. As for my step daughter...she goes back and forth on how she treats me. We have her every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and sometimes she is great and sometimes she treats me like s**t. I just have to remind myself that i am the adult and have to just keep trying...hopefully she will eventually see that. Good luck if you are in this situation.
2007-01-26 08:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sled Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use to be in that situation, disciplining them is hard work, sometimes leaving us feeling as if we have no say. they don't treat the new step mom well, or with respect. they see u as someone who took their dad away from them and he will fight u when u try to get the respect u deserve from his children. not an ideal thing, he has to be willing to stand up for u and what is right without worry about the child's feelings, and sometimes he takes the child's side of things, that's where The trouble comes in, as if he allows u to be disrespected, the marriage will be doomed.
2007-01-26 08:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner had two daughters from a previous relationship when we got together then we had a daughter together. And I can say with hand on heart that they where all loved exactly the same we have been together now for thirty years and have eleven grand children.
2007-01-26 08:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by derek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 18 yr old daughter and 15 yr old boy with my ex wife in England and a 2yr old son with my ex girlfriend in the USA, they are all being raised by there mothers partners as my life isnt condusive to relationships as i travel 50 weeks a year worldwide with my work and my exs couldnt handle that, which i cant blame them for! So i have had to get used to the idea.
I keep in touch with them all always and love them all with all of my heart and soul. I have been really lucky as they all have step fathers that are great with them and when i get to there respected countrys and visit i am always welcome as we are all friends and my kids know that im there father, biologically and that i will always be there if they need me no matter where in the world i have to fly back from, last year my 15 yr old was rushed to hospital with appendisitis and i was in papua new guinie and it took my 22 hrs to get back but i was there for him. so i guess in answer to youre question, tthat its ok as long as we all remember that we as adults have to behave as such and give our children love and the best that we can provide and put our own feelings aside.
2007-01-26 08:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by wang eyed lil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband and I each had 2 kids from previous marriages and three of our own. All seven of them grew up in one house and were treated equally. Had a bit of uphill from the elder child at first (aged 9 at the time) but when he realised I wasn't trying to take his mother's place he settled down, and his sister with him. They accepted me and eventually told me they realised that I was aklways there for them, more so than their father, and both regarded me as their mother even though their biological mother was alive, she didn't bother to even send them birthday or Xmas cards. I was married to the kids father for 18 years so brought these two up fior most of their lives. Hope all works well for you
2007-01-28 14:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by bothalezi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not personally but my friends have, she has two children from a previous relationshoip, he has one and they have one between them. His daughter lives with his ex and they live with her two and their own obviously. But hers never do anything she says and she won't tell them off cos she feels guilty for all the upset they have been through (which was 6 years ago when her and ex split up). He feels he can't intervene with her children and on the odd occasion if he does, she always overrules him, and it's ended up being a complete nightmare.
Basically hers get away with murder and their son is resenting that he gets told what to do from both of them but her two don't get disciplined off either of them.
He works away and she is constantly stressed. They got married cos she was pregnant. I don't think it will last!
2007-01-26 08:20:27 · answer #9 · answered by dadn33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a step dad and a step mom, although I live with my step dad and he provides for all my brothers and sisters financially he is not there as a father figure at all. There is a clear favoritism towards his biological kids whom he has with my biological mom.
My step mother has her days when she loves me to bits and her days when she calls me a B$#&*.
So i have come to the conclusion that My step parents are only nice to me for the sake of their marriages.
2007-01-26 08:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by tatumtay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. The two older ones are fine as they never lived with us but my step-daughter has tried on several occasions to split me and her dad up by telling lies about me. I have been pushed, shoved, kicked, stolen from, screamed and sworn at. On saying all that, you have to be the grown up, try and understand why they are doing these things and love them anyway...not always easy. My steppy hates the fact I am with her dad - not much I can do about it. I offered to leave once but my husband wouldn't hear of it. Ultimately he was made to chose which is terrible for him.
2007-01-26 08:15:20 · answer #11 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋