What if I find it difficult to communicate with my husband, what shall I do?

Question

I know myself that I love my husband so much. But, now that we are after all human being, imperfect, at times we ague each other and I find it difficult to communicate with him. I do not have any friends to rely on. What shall I do to solve this kind of complication in life?

Answer 1

Been there and still having this same problem after 37 yrs of marriage!!
Non communication comes from some type of fear-from one or both the spouses.
Fear that you or they will ask anything that requires an honest answer,something neither of one of you cannot admit or face. Then it also reveals plainly that one or both are afraid of the answers or questions.

I had to step up to bat this week to my husband after 2 weeks of this adult acting mad,being in an ignoring silent mode and to me thats stupid or ignorantly childish.
I demanded he tell me his reason for being behind his concrete wall.
It boiled down to a phone call from him weeks earlier-I fell asleep in the afternoon,he calls to ask what flavor of ice-cream I wanted. I told him I didn't care....this angered him that I didn't say chocolate or strawberry cheesecake,etc. I about died laughing that his silent treatment was over a $4.00 carton of ice cream.

Who knows what occurs to make a spouse/mate close-up or shut down communications. It could be major or minor. It will affect the one that doesn't have a clue...Believe me-do not be afraid, just look them in the eye and tell them you need to understand why they are acting cold and defensive towards you.
It could bring a major war of the roses, but determine you are gonna listen-and respond w/o anger or getting violent.
By all means, don't be childish like a pouting selfish brat. My spouse does that and if looks could kill, he'd fall in his tracks.

Also,another outside friend or confidant of either spouse could be influencing and putting harsh thoughts & ideas in the spouse's mind...bad,bad,bad.But this could very well be the evil culprit and you'll be lucky if you find out who this is. But--the less you act as if it bothers you, the more you'll find out because they will let some remark come out in an off the wall response.Just pay attention and you'll put it all together.

Don't get off the case until you find out why he will not communicate with you. Always talk about issues as they occur. If that person will not talk about it-you have a troubled spouse,they need help with their "I'm always RIGHT" attitude.
It's not about who's right but who can say what they mean/mean what they say openly-with respect, without offense,but understanding.

Answer 2

No matter what other people say, it is always hard to find the right words to explain what we feel.

What I do when I'm just not comfortable speaking out load. I write a letter. Go somewhere where you can be alone. Gather your thoughts and write down every little thing that comes to mind. It does not need to make any sense. Ones you feel like you've jotted down every detail. Take another piece of paper and write to your husband. Explain to him that you are writing him because you don't trust the words that come out of your mouth. In your own words explain your feelings to him.

If you feel confident enough after writing it, you could maybe try telling him. If your still a bit scared, give him the letter.

Good luck. Nothing worth wile is every easy!!

Answer 3

If you find it difficult to communicate with your husband I suggest that you keep a journal that can be an open book for him to read and perhaps he will then understand how you're feeling. I honestly have difficulities communicating with my husband, but that's the worst thing that could happen. So, before it's too late, get a book and I wouldn't rely on friends nor relatives because then they twist things and then you get confused. Seek some spiritual guidance. God will listen...Pray that this isn't too hard for you...

Answer 4

Sorry, you weren't more specific on the exact problem and when it started. Usually when 2 people stop making there feelings know or one person perceives they other is not sharing feelings, this could be the start of more serious problems in a relationship

My suggestion first to you " make sure your not imagining things. Is there a lack of self esteem on your part. Can your relationship improve, if you change something about yourself.Look inward first before you look at your partner

Answer 5

Well, I think right now you 2 are communicating BY arguing and should change tactics.
Try sitting down & really putting your feelings on the line.
Talk like 2 mature adults , Be honest even if it will hurt.
This is the only way you will get anywhere.

Answer 6

Re-discover common ground. It could be that you have gotten into a rut and, although you are living together, you see the world slightly differently.

Start discovering common interests and activities. This should help as you will be able to relax with each other outside of the normal running of the house.

Luck

Answer 7

arguments n difficulties r part of lyf...we need 2 deal wid care,tender n luv when its wid some1 very close 2 our heart.if u r nt able 2 communicate urslf in words den just use body language or gestures.a silence cn even speak louder den words.n plz dnt at al feel imperfect,just b confident abt urslf.n luv d way u r..den nly d world wil respect u.

Answer 8

if you cant communicate how is it going to work? you have to tell him the situation and if he is a loving husband he will listen, if not straight away maybe it will take him some time but it cant hurt?!

Answer 9

you should talk to your husband and consider counseling, it can improve your life dramatically. you both deserve to be happy and enjoy life together and one another. read this or try any other counseling:
http://worknearn.vv1vv.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=18555555
good luck

Answer 10

Marriage counceling???