He confessed this to me, before then I had suspected him of it, cos he often chatted with girls on the net, tld them he wasn’t married, they call him often but I didn’t react wrongly to it, I tld him I didn’t like it but he didn’t stop. He used to call me sweetheart but stopped and now uses my real name, I asked him about it and he said he jst prefered that, meanwhile he call those net girls sweet names.
I have been very loving n sacrificial taking care of my two step kids. I often asked him if I was doing anythn wrong so I cld change, he said I was perfect n he wld let me know if I was going wrong
I hve forgivn him but I cant get over the hurt, the pain is eatn me up, I had been cryn and thinkn ever since and he says my reactions make him rgret telling me.. I dont wnt to hurt him so I hurt within n dont show it, I pretend am a happy person n am dyin inside, now hw do I forgt n how do I let the pain go, he says he confessed cos he loves me but i think he did cos he ws bein blackmailed
2007-01-25 23:05:40 · 14 answers · asked by girlgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are falling into a black hole!!!, you haven't forgiven him as you are still in pain and suffering, you can not forgive him until you let it go. which is the hardest part.if you are chosing to stay you need to be able to let it go and live withit. Everytime you can;t reach him on the phone, every time his late home etc, can you live with the thoughts?? that fact that he was messing on the net should have set alarm bells ringing, you should have put your foot down, he is taking the piss out of you straight up disrespect!!. You asking him if you need to change is alarming!! The fact that he saying he will tell you if you need to is even worse!!!!!!!!if your willing to change to accommodate him says more about you than him,. I think your forgetting that he is the one in the Wrong!!!!!! why should you feel bad for feeling bad!! you have every right and more to feel the way you do. Do not spare his feelings he did not spare yous when he cheated on you!!! and your right he never told you coz loves you, coz if he loves you that much he would never have done it!! do not let a man validate what or who you are!! you are worth so much more, good luck
2007-01-25 23:28:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been trying hard to make your marriage work from your side, but you are not the problem. No matter how hard you try to change, If he still continues to stay the same and isn't planning to improve even a little, you are back to square one no matter how much running around you did to fix your problem.
This is a relationship where you are getting nothing in return, and that you are taken for granted. That he's chatting up girls on the net, calling them sweet names and lying about being single, already shows lack of respect to you, especially when he knows you do know about those girls. Is that type of behavior really deserving what you are giving him?
It's better to give your attention a person that gives you love and respect in return.
I wish you all the happiness+ luck :)
2007-01-26 00:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care about him,what in the world is wrong with you ?this imitation man is using you and you are worried about how his feelings will be hurt?This person who I will not call a man has no respect for you because you have none for yourself.No woman In her right mind would put up with that treatment.He doesn't love you and never will because you are a doormat and although you are a useful one,he can't respect you for not being interested in your own happiness.You are home crying like an idiot while he 's doing what he pleases.How long will you subject your self to his abuse ?You are being domestically violated and all you do is cry?I don't know what to tell you for you already know he's a jerk but you like jerks who treat you like shi*?????
2007-01-26 02:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen honey.....Separate from him. He is a cheat. He isn't going to ever be faithful to you again. IF you allow him to cheat on you this time, he will have it in his head that it's ok to cheat all the time. Do you want to feel this pain forever? I hope not. Leave him, let him have the internet bimbo's and the con artist on there, they aren't any good and he will realize that. He slept with his secretary? That's low. Now everyday that he goes to work you'll wonder if he's sleeping with her again. Move on honey, find yourself a better person, they are waiting for you. You don't need him. Alone is sometimes alot better. You can do bad all by yourself.
Good Luck
2007-01-25 23:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to start expressing your hurt, why should he get off so easily, while inside u are devastated. u did nothing wrong, he did, and should have to suffer the consequences. never good to hold it in, as eventually it wll come out. what is his behavior like now? is it one who shows remorse, or is it one of someone who is silent over it? as u will have to be honest with him about the hurt, and how it has affected u. wasn't u who went wrong it was him, and no u will never get past this unless u seek some form of therapy, and he allows u to talk freely about it even if it makes him uncomfortable. yes he does regret telling cause it makes him face his wrong, and seems he isn't comfortable with doing that, not wanting to be accountable because of having to face the pain that comes with u knowing the truth. right now he should be remorseful, and repetitive, if he is not there is something the matter with it, and he isn't ready to give up what he is doing.
2007-01-26 00:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to tell you this but your husband is a fool.
He is a fool for having an affair.
He is a fool for behavior for which he cannot handle the guilt.
He is a fool for telling you.
He is a fool for hurting you like he did.
You can agree to forgive this ONCE.
Make him tell you what he was thinking, that it will NEVER happen again and that if it does he will leave and pay you spousal support ( get that one in writing).
Infidelity is one of the most hurtful things you can suffer. For him to tell you only proves that he is weak. He owes you. Do not feel bad about collecting.
2007-01-25 23:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you don't want to hurt him? Well, think about it, he's hurting you and he doesn't even care. If he cared, he wouldn't be talking with other women or cheating on you.
Tell him he has to make a choice- it's either you or this fantasy he's living in. Threaten to leave, maybe then he'll get his act together. If he doesn't, then why even stay with someone so self-centered? I would have left him the minute I found him cheating!
Be strong! Never let someone treat you like dirt!
2007-01-25 23:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't want to hurt him? Look at what he's doing to you!!! He has hurt you so bad..You are and will go thru some pretty bad emotions, He betrayed you, He lost your trust..Now your paying the price for him screwing around, I don't think thats quite fair to you, do you? If you want your marriage to work thats great, But you need to talk to him about this, don't keep wearing a happy face,Because it will eat you alive..Think of you in this situation, Talk to him, don't carry it inside let him know what your going thru..
I wish you the best of luck
2007-01-26 00:45:32 · answer #8 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you did nothing wrong. This is what Mental abuse is, they make you feel that it's because of you. When it's his own problem, If he did it once he will probably do it again because he got away with it.
You need to stand up for yourself and take care of your kids. Don't allow this to happen to you. 1st time shame on me, 2nd time shame on you!
Remember, HE DID THIS! Get mad, yell, scream at him. Get it out of your system.
Do not sympathize with him, HE DID THIS TO HIS FAMILY! You alone can not fix a marriage it takes two.
2007-01-26 01:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by sbratt2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey lady dnt hurt urself 4 d wrong deeds of ur man.its d mst paining situatn 4 a married lady 2 get cheatd aftr a beautiful sharing of life aftr couple of years .....but b strong as nw u ve already 4gvn him 4 wat he did....but not able 2 *** out of tht...u need 2 talk 2 ur husband tht u r nt able 2 stabilise ur soul 2 accept dis betrayal of trust by him.he can only ensure satisfaction n sense of security n luv 2wrds u.u need 2 have an open conversation wid ur husband regarding ur emotions,feelings n xpectatns 4m him.try dis,it wl surely wrk.god bless.
2007-01-25 23:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by mesmerising 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋