Why is it even as a grown adult I find myself looking for my parents approval of my life?

Answer 1

i used to do exactly the same thing. I was 24 when i got pregnant with my second child married to a wonderful man who they like and yet i was still terrified of telling them. when i was growing up they were so critical of everything i said/did/wore/who i hung out with/my weight/my grades etc etc nothing i did was good enough. so when i grew up i found myself still constantly trying to impress them. Im 27 this year and finally thought, you know what if they cant be impressed by what i am then i dont give a stuff. I have my own life, my own family who adore me. who cares about the olds eh?

Answer 2

There is a possibility that you have not received approval during your initial indrustrial portion of life and are continuing through your later life to seek approval. The reality is that if you follow Jahoda's principals, some self assessment will balance this defecit out. If you can never find or define your own successes, you may never realize your full potential. Examine what you have done and done well, look at the elements in your life which could benefit through revisiting, reach their full potential and move on.

Answer 3

Perhaps you are looking for approval because you are not sure whether you are living a good life or not.

And if that's your situation, then perhaps it's better to look for guidance from your parents rather than approval.

Approval can't help you in any way, except make you feel good. But guidance and advice can make a real difference, especially in situation where you are not sure what to do.

Answer 4

hey!
I know exactly what you mean...I have been working through this myself recently.
It depedns in what way you see their approval. does it have a controlling affect on who you are, what you do and what decisions you make.
I think in some way a lot of people want approval from their parents but there's healthy boundaries to that.
It may due to attachment difficulties, or being dependent on them emotionally. These things are hard to separate from.
I could go on forever writing about this...but I don't have a clue about your relationship with them as that would have an impact,

Answer 5

They are always going to be older and wiser then yourself, so it still gives you great pride when they compliment you on your life.

They have also made mistakes in there life and you know buy asking there approval they can steer you clear of the same mistakes. Take there advice aslong as it fits with your life

Answer 6

Well it's normal. People never grow ultimately independent. You always feel as if you need someone to look after you. You always want to get yourself satisfied by pleasing someone.
It is no wonder if you are around talking with your parents. Some people even think of their parents house as their own a long time after they left it.

Answer 7

I'm the same. In my case it's because i've never really got their approval. I'm gradually learning not to care since i realise i have to be someone i'm not to get it.

If you don't feel your parents already approve of you and your life, they have let you down, not the other way round.

Answer 8

because they did not give it enough does not make you unacceptable, read joyce meyers approval addiction its a brilliant books some people overcome the worst obstacles in life and press through the pain of not having their parents approval.
one woman her mum did not want her and she was adopted and not even given a name, and when she went to find her her mother did not even want to know her, but this woman, and others still managed to feel good about themselves.
Do you know something you don,t need their approval you have God,s approval , we are only on loan to our parents it,s God who we belong to and who made us. Renew your mind read the bible and see yourself as God sees you, you are precious and a delight to him. He choose you to be born and made you.
I knwo we all have self doupts at time, get a good self esteem book melanie fennell overcoming low self esteem.
I never had my parents approval, never did much to please them i felt they did not like me.wasent, my problem it was their, your probably a fab person God loves you say it to yourself everyday, its healing and true, it is horrible i know going through this but take care Denise don,t let anyone put you down or anyman, God does not make junk, those who speak badly have the problem

Answer 9

Because we always want to please those who brought us up. My Dad never told me he was proud of me or pleased with me and it hurt. My Mum always lets her approval and pride show, which I love. With my kids , who are grown up and left home, I always let them know that I am proud of them and when I approve of what they do. I try not to say too much when I don't agree with what they do as it is their lives and if they are not hurting anyone does it matter anyway?

Answer 10

All of the foregoing answers have validity but probably the main reason is that they know all about you, whilst friends and others only see what you choose to show them. As a father, I am very proud of my children (they are much better people than me) but I know when they have really worked at something and when it is only a notional effort.