Am i over reacting?

Question

One of my closest friends and I are both going through a really hard time at the moment. I had a death in the family about two weeks ago and they have been pretty unsupportive. At the same time, a person close to them is extremely sick and not expected to live for many more months. My family member's funeral was last week and they didn't ask about it when I saw them next so I felt pretty neglected but at the same time I understand they have their own problems and am trying not to be unfair. Any opinions or advice? thanks!

Answer 1

maybe they did not know what to say and did not want to upset you by bringing it up.....they probably already know how you feel cuz they are going through the same emotions so that is why they did not feel the need to ask SO HOW ARE FEELING cuz they already knew the answer....you are feeling like s h i t .......if they are a good friend then I would give them the benefit of the doubt and just be there for them if they feel the need to talk

My brother's birthday was yesterday ... he would have been 39. He died almost 2 years ago on March 7. I have a friend whose father died one month earlier than my brother.....we both did not feel the need to say how are you doing ...we both just kind of said stuff like...this sucks and god I miss him

Dont be too hard on your friend....its like you said, they have their own pain to deal with. They should not have to worry about stepping on your toes while they are going through their own living hell.

The worst part for me when my brother died was I could not understand why the entire world did not stop to grieve along with me cuz I was in so much pain.....it was weird to see that life goes on as usual...I know other people did not know them but my reality was he was gone and I was hurting and still do today.

Sorry if I rambled on and on

Answer 2

I can understand how it might feel when your closest friends don't seem to be supportive at a dark time like this, however, you should throw those feelings of being neglected away and say to yourself: "they are this way because someone in their family is dying right now", because that's most likely the reason (otherwise, I imagine, they would show all the support they could, they are your close friends after all). So instead of scorning them in your head you should show yourself to be supportive of their situation, because may be they are also thinking: "Oh she seems to be neglecting us because she hasn't asked us this or that" And even if you have already showed support to them then continue and don't stop, because in the end you'll be the person who helped everyone carry through these problems and you'll definitely be appreciated for it (if they are sensible people). Whatever you do though, try not to create an uncomfortable distance between you and them, it doesn't sound like you all need to have another problem hovering above your heads.

Answer 3

Maybe they just can't handle death. But, that's still no reason to not ask how you're doing or if you need anything. Just blow it off. They probably have more problems inside than what you can see on the surface. :)

Sorry for your loss. Death sux. I've been through a bunch in my life to know. Friends and family.

Answer 4

you're both pretty stress right now, and dont think about it too much, it will settle eventually..You cant rely on her/him since she was bit messed at the moment..dying are sometimes are too hard to accept..but try to support her..although she wasnt around when you had one.people react differently in problems, she might coping it badly and distressed. But true friends understand each other and love unconditionally..Its good that you never think any negative on her, its really shows how good friend you are to her.

Answer 5

they are probably thinking about you, but finding it hard to express what they are feeling as they are dealing with their own emotions at the moment to. maybe you should make the first move and see if they want to chat about what is happening to them, you will probably find that you will both end up in tears and supporting each other. it may be that your friend feels that she will get upset on you and does not want to make things any harder for you than they already are. make the first approach and be there for each other.

Answer 6

I'm sure it hurt you but remember that they were going through something very similar and they just probably weren't thinking clearly at that moment. When something tragic happens in our life it does seem to consume us and our thoughts and often times we aren't ourselves during these times.I would try to not take it personally because I really don't think it was intentional.

Answer 7

, Have patience you are both on overload and time heals, grief is a very private thing and every one reacts in a different way, they are trying to prepare their selves in this unhappy situation,you have coped well, but you are not alone ,this is the beauty of yahoo ,they are frightened to ask anything on this subject because then it will become a reality to them they cannot face it yet.Speak to another friend who is detatched from the situation.

Answer 8

you sound like a caring friend, and once they realise they have forgotten this important event in your life they will be really sorry (if they are a true Friend). Hang in there, people deal with things differently and they probably don't mean to offend you.

Answer 9

i bet you all feel at pretty much a loss right now. maybe they're seeing how you're reacting so they'll know what they'll act like in the near future. you seem pretty stable, so they're probably thinking you're a good role model

Answer 10

It may be insensitive but it could be your situation is just reminding them what they are going to go through and they are trying not to think about it.