Have you ask or been ask by your spouse how many lovers you have had and what you have done sexually? Have you replied truthfully? How has the answer been received?
2007-01-25 22:22:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh yes, my husband asked a couple of years ago and I asked him why he wanted to know. He said it was just curiosity.
Listen, I think it´s a bad idea to talk about ex lovers and ex boy friends and about the details what you´ve done sexually with them.
Anyway, I wouldn´t tell anything or simply don´t tell the truth....
2007-01-25 22:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anita P 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Gary K, I don't think that's a good question to ask in any relationship.
When you start asking each other those type of questions, you're just asking for trouble! (Trust me, I know). I think that you should leave the past in the past and if the person does not understand, that's his or her problem. It's never positive to ask your partner how many lovers they've had and what they've done sexually. Answering that question will lead to other problems in the future with your partner. If you get into an argument with your partner, you better believe you'll hear every intimate detail you've ever shared with them and wished you hadn't! Couples say they want an honest and open relationship with their partners, but as soon as you try to be open by sharing certain things like the question you're asking, all hell breaks loose! They say they can handle it, but really they can't. Your partner becomes obsessed and paranoid with every performance, sexually or other, because they're thinking of what you've told them!
So, the answer to your question is yes, my partner has asked those questions and I answered honestly and truthfully, and it has become a night mare ever since.
2007-01-26 07:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cricket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband asked me this before we got married and I asked if he was sure he wanted to know and he said he was so I was honest. He was a little wierd about it (it was more than he had slept with) but I'm still glad I was honest with him.
A guy I was with years ago asked me how many people I'd been with before him and I wasn't honest and he was still upset so I think it depends on the person.
I think those sorts of questions can lead to problems esp if one person is jealous or hung up on the past. At the same time, i think sexual history (for the sake of stds and that sort of info) is important to share. If its just stuff you've done then unless you're both very comfortable discussing it openly, i see no use in it.
2007-01-26 06:40:46 · answer #3 · answered by Angie Mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Delicate, is that what you meant? That's a typical question between couples married or otherwise...and the answer is: Tell them only what you want them to know. In my experience, some women can't handle it if they know their man has been with "X" number of women before them, only because of personal inadequacies. If you tell a person with low-self esteem that you've had many before her, she wants to run and hide because she feels you are so much more experienced; and usually they brood about it and strike out at you for having been "promiscuous", though quite honestly it's none of their business. That business about promiscuity leading to disease is a bunch of hooey; you could have slept with 500 virgins or worn protection or been tested everytime, for that matter and none of this would have any bearing. Screening your partners would be much safer than abstinence until marriage, the person you marry is not guaranteed to be squeaky-clean either! So, my answer is: Say only what you want them to hear.
2007-01-26 06:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can honestly say that I have never been drilled for a certain number of sexual partners or details. We talked about the biggest relationships we had and what went wrong in them but that's it. I didn't want to know all the details and neither did she, We are both adults therefore, we knew we had both been in relationships before. I don't think going into detail is necessary or a good idea.
2007-01-26 06:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in a serious relationship be honest about how many people you have slept with, but by no means discuss what you did with them! In this day and age it is important to know how promiscuous a person was in the past because you want to protect yourself from STDs. But it is no ones dang business what you did....infact as a woman I am telling you that is a loaded question.
2007-01-26 06:34:27 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been honest yes, but I do not feel the need to go into great detail, neither do I want to know in detail what my other half has done in his past. I do know how many people he has slept with, and he also knows my history (I have been married twice). I do believe in honesty, but I just don't think anyone needs to know gory details.
2007-01-26 06:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not having been married, I can't honestly answer this question for spouses. But every boyfriend I've ever had (not the one-night stands) has known about my sexual history. It's not just a question about honesty, it's a question about health. And if you're going to be spending the rest of your life with someone, he/she should definitely know your sexual history and you should know theirs. And if someone has a problem with your sexual history, then that's THEIR problem, not yours. You have a right to be accepted regardless of your past.
2007-01-26 06:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by newinfiniteabyss 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We never had any trouble in that department. There was no reason to conceal any information about past lovers, but also no real need to inquire about them.
What's past is past. People just can't get their heads around that concept.
2007-01-26 08:12:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your partner's past is none of your business. If someone asked me about how many lovers I had had, that is the answer I would give.
2007-01-26 06:26:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋