i told my mum i want to move away soon and live with my boyfriend and start college in london.she kicked off about it and said she wont let me.i'm 18 in september can she stop me????i ll always be there for her i told her that .i want to take her out for a coffee today and talk about it calmly .i really love him and want to be with him.she moved in with my dad when she was 17 and a half.please help me ....
2007-01-25 20:29:19 · 18 answers · asked by Mal S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
talk to her calmly, i understand how she felts (her lovely daugther is moving away....), prove her how much you loved him, does your bf and your mum gets along well together?
dont go yelling "Mum!, im 18 now.....cant you see, i can look after myself..." blah blah...:-P
2007-01-25 20:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by Paula 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the situation. only i didnt tell my mom about my gf and im going. yes, she can stop you because you are still her daughter. She only wants the best for you and she loves you and wants you to be safe. But talking to your Mom about it calmly is a good start.
You always need to consider what will happen if it doesnt work out. How long have you been dating your bf? If its less than 1/2 to 2 years, then I say absolutely not. You don't know a person until you live with them. What if an bad argument erupts? Where are you gonna go? You never know what happens. Good luck to you and your choices.
2007-01-26 04:40:35 · answer #2 · answered by blob888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By law, at the age of 18 you can move out of your house. You may feel like your mum is being hypocritical, but she might just want you to have a better life than she has had. I'm sure as your mother she'll want to go for a coffee with you. Just calmy explain what you want to do and why, this should do the trick. I wish you the best of luck - I also wanna move to London when I'm 18. See ya there! =]
2007-01-26 04:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mum objects through fear she's terrified of you going away and something going wrong when she can't help you , you have to let her know that you understand this and that your her little girl and you will still be her little girl when your 50 years old .
tell her that your an adult now and adults learn from their mistakes but if you stay under her wing you can't make mistakes or learn and the later you start the longer it's going to take for you to get it right .
you could stay home until your 50 but then you'd be left on your own with no experience of how to care for yourself .
reassure her that she will always be your rock and you will always return to her when in need and even if the worsed comes to worsed 10 pence is all it costs to make a phonecall to the cavalry or in your case mum .
say you don't want this to come between you because in most cases when this arguement arises it usually ends with a massive fall out the kid storming off into the unknown without contact or guidance from parents for a few years , the kid makes every mistake possible until desperation drives them home a physical and mental wreck the parents don't even know , the tie that binds is broken and it can never be repaired no matter how much everybody wants it to be , sure the loves still there but the dependence is gone (she depends on you as much as you do on her just in a different way)
she needs to know you still need her and the fact is you do and if she wants you to succeed in life she must let you find your own place in it and with her to guide you you have an advantage over a lot of others who are searching alone without help or guidance from anybody who cares .
good luck
2007-01-26 05:09:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
=I think you can work out the reason that she does not wnat you to do this when you say that she moved in with your dad aged 17 and a half. She wants you to have more from life than she did.
I know you really love him but if it is the real thing you will still feel the same in a couple of years. I'm with your mum. Compromise - plan to do it in two years time.
2007-01-26 05:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, I bet that she can't stop you once you're 18.
However, I don't think you should hear that as a legal threat. I think you should hear that your mother loves you and that she wants what's best for you. Implicitly, she's saying that moving in with your dad at 17 was a bad idea and that she doesn't want you to have to go through the same troubles that she did.
Frankly, I have to agree with her. Give it some time. Go to college, but don't move in with your bf. Finish your degree and then see where you are. College changes people.
2007-01-26 04:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go talk to her, have all of your thoughts together first. Talk to her gently and respectfully about your feelings and how important your plans are to you. Tell her that you know you can do it without her blessings, but having her on your side is very important to you.Also, give her a chance to state her feelings about it and why she feels this way. You also have a plan together about your moving out, where you will live, how you will afford it, etc. I'm sure these are some of the things she's worried about.Good Luck to you. Stay calm and mature!
2007-01-26 05:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as your mum shes going to be protective and concerned about you and its understandable that she would kick off with the news!
At 17 you are still very young - but its not as if you're moving solely to be with your boyfriend - you are also going to college there - you should explain this to her - let her know that its an educational move as well as a romantic one.
Explain to her that you realise shes worried about it - but that she took the chance when she was your age with your dad - so you need her to cut the apron strings and let you do the same.
Tell her you would love for her to come visit lots - she could just be scared of loosing you to the big city life - explain and re-explain that that will never happen.
Best of luck hun!
xx
2007-01-26 04:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she can't stop you if you are over 16, but don't be too hard on her. Her concerns have probably resulted because she loves you. Maybe sit down with her and calmly discuss her concerns: maybe she has regrets that she doesn't want you to feel from moving in with your dad so soon.
2007-01-28 16:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by K F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom's don't like it when their babies leave the nest... she is probably just upset.
When you turn 18 there is really not much she can do about it.
Maybe you can give her a while to soak it all in... wait a while before you take her out for a chat.
It is a good idea to be sure that the two of you are on good terms about it so don't push her quite yet.
I like that you want to take her out for coffee to chat though... that is sweet.
Good luck!
2007-01-26 04:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her straight. Explain that it's better to be with you then against you. She doesn't want to loose her daughter. Rave on with how you have got her independence and she raised you well. Tell her you want to leave on good terms but if she won't be happy for you then that is her choice. You will be there when she comes around. Don't ask her permission. This is your life and you deserve the right to live it.
2007-01-26 04:37:15 · answer #11 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋