me and my husband spilt a few months ago as we had bad problems. i have been seeing another man and being having mind blowing sex. me and my husband have been talking and after a lot of thought and time apart weve decided to try and save our marraige. the thing is i cant get turned on by my husband like i did the other man.. its like my body does not work for him!!i try and get in the mood but there is no sexual feelings towards him at all!! i desperatly want there to be. is there any natural remedies to help improve sex drive??whats wrong with me?
2007-01-25 20:00:22 · 21 answers · asked by carly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you discussed these problems with your husband? Why not consider marriage guidance, Relate are excellent.
Go to link bellow and good luck.
http://www.relate.org.uk/
2007-01-25 20:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you, i just think when you have gone through problems like this you cant expect everything to fall back into place straight away. Start again like you just met, go on dates, hold hands, have romantic meals and take it slowly. Ban sex for now, just kissing and petting for now (like a shy new couple! ) You fancied him once you just need to find it again. I assume your husband must be quite an understanding guy to take you back (no offence meant) so im sure he will cooperate and be patient for a while. Try and work out what made you stray in the first place and sort it i.e boredom, lack of affection. You need to be 100% honest with eachother and talk about everything. Just take your time there is no need to rush back into sex, maybe some professional marriage counselling? Its not for everyone so is just a suggestion. Start by learning to be friends again and having fun together, slow down and good luck x
2007-01-26 04:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know about the affair? It could be that he finds it difficult being intimate with you now. Infidelity is a hard thig to forgive even if you make all the right noises. It's a bit of a cliche but try not to focus too much on sex for a while. Do romantic things together like you used to. Go on dates. Go for romantic weekends away together. Buy each other gifts. The fact that you want to make it work is a great start-but it will take time. Good luck!
2007-01-26 04:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by william_c_munny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to work out relationship. Talk about what bothers you and what bothers him. Get a counselor or coach if you have money. Seems like a good marriage is worth millions. Don't give up!! You may need to ask forgiveness for going with another man. Tell him what would feel good. What would help you to be excited by him as you go through the day and work up to it. You see, you didn't have history with the other guy. Your husband and you need to clear things up and get forgiven and happy with each other again. Are you proud of him? or ashamed? You need to find out WHY you can't mentally get turned on by him. Women have to be happy to have good sex.
2007-01-26 04:23:03 · answer #4 · answered by mylittlecrocus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its because your still obsessed with how this other guy made you feel? if you put him out of your mind? but you do need to discuss this with your husband, even if its something as simple as saying that you want to completely start again, date, kiss do the heavy petting and the foreplay but dont let it go any further until you've had 7 dates(they dont have to be date dates just a romantic dinner in, dvd and popcorn on the couch). if you want it to work you can and will find a way! i hope you do!
good luck! xxxx
2007-01-26 04:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by pinkjessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i kinda feel the same way, i have been married 7 years but seems longer, we went to doing it all the time to not at all, and it was me not him. i feel that it has just gotten old, same ol same ol thing. try different ways. i dont believe in sex videos ,but i watched one and kinda struck the mood a little. just try different ways. go somewhere different. some where you would think it wouldnt happen, but not in public lol. but if that doesnt work go see someone perfessional about it . but girl, dont spend the rest of your life wondering what if or being misserable. if you really love him keep trying. if he makes you happy. youll find the answers.
2007-01-26 04:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by mudd cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't your body that is at fault, it is your mind...
you are in love with the other man, cos you are able to perform for him like a puppet... :D
your husband and all the problems you've been having, have affected you mentally, to the point where your mind refuses to allow your body to work for him...
you need to get counselling and maybe take things slow again... go back to how you dated and see if that helps...
but to be honest, i'd say you'd be better off divorcing your husband and carry on with the "mind blowing sex" guy!!! :D
2007-01-26 04:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may seem wrong but fantasize that you are with the other man when you are with your husband maybe that will do the trick. Or you can take control of the intercourse and introduce to your husband some of the moves you and your partner did.
2007-01-26 04:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're focusing too much on it, it should happen naturally if it's not there anymore maybe it's because you're focusing too much on the other guy. Tell your husband that you've been sleeping with someone else. Hopefully, he'll divorce you and that way you can be with that other guy and you won't have to worry about it.
2007-01-26 04:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally wouldnt worry about it, it happens to everybody at some point in relationships because ur so used to everything they do and it becomes routine! Try and talk to him and if that still doesnt work get things from some saucy shops (ann summers) to make it more exciting i can tell you it works. Good luck
2007-01-26 04:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by X 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie,
nothing is wrong with you
finally someone gives you what you need (not so much what you want cause we don't always know what we want)
the need to be cherished, pampered, adored (to name a few) is essential to our femininity
there is nothing wrong with your sex drive so don't look for natural remedies
remember your sex drive is revved not by you but how your partner makes you feel
if you really want to make it work with your husband then let Mr. Goodbar go, don't compare and most importantly don't rush YOU
2007-01-26 04:27:09 · answer #11 · answered by mommyseldest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋