When a man talks to women online and they are married and they talk about sex and having sex in thier work place is that cheating? Being a wife I know how much it hurts but I cant seem to understand why he is doing it. He tells me he is happy at home and he loves me more than anyone in his life. But he talks to this one certain woman about things he would do to her and tells her that I have to work on certain days and that he will be sleeping alone. Tells her it is a bother sometimes being married, but when I say something to him he says that he is just messing with her and that he would never do anything like that. He tells her things he would like to do with her and how he wants to touch her, but these are things he wont do with me or to me.
2007-01-25 19:30:30 · 18 answers · asked by sgtswife25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would consider it cheating. He should only be thinking about those things with you.
2007-01-25 19:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Cheating? No. Wrong? Yes.
In my opinion it's wrong IF it upsets you. Which it does. So for you, and your marriage it is wrong. You may consider it "emotional cheating", but the fact is he hasn't stepped-out on you physically (meaning a date, not necessarily sex). So technically he being socially unfaithful at this point.
If he really cares about you more than himself, then he will stop. He, and you, need to find out exactly why he is doing this. Something is missing within him or your marriage that he needs this type of reassurance that he is still desirable to other women. That he can still "conquer" others of the opposite sex. It makes him feel like a "man".
Why does he need this? It may be just him. It may be something you are doing or not doing that he needs to feel "fulfilled". It may be a combination of both. BUT, you need to find out why before this goes any further. You need to come to a common understanding of what is missing in him, you, or your relationship that he needs to do this with other women.
Some of this, the point he is telling her things he wants to do to her that he doesn't even do to you, tells me that he looks upon his wife as "pure" and thus not a sexual being. But a mistress is just for raw, naughty sex. This is a very Puritanical view of women where a man marries the virgin and screws the whores. In today's society they can and should be the same woman. The woman he married. But it's hard for many men to get over this concept since it's still alive and well in fire and brimstone America.
Get professional relationship counseling.
2007-01-25 19:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling like Just The Wife? Well you need to speak up for yourself. Don't you feel a bit hurt and decieved by this? I'm sure you want him to be giving you the attention and not some chick who doesn't wash his laundry or cook his dinner. My husband isn't even allowed to hoot at another girl. I've made it clear that it's really hurtful. As for why your husband is doing this...It's fantacy and if it was all in his head it would be ok. But he's acting it out with another woman. He's having computer sex. I call that cheating. I wouldn't do it out of respect, love, and morals.
2007-01-25 19:56:01 · answer #3 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating, Daniel. I keep telling you that, cause you be flirting and acting like you want them. I can't believe you would ask this question to the world wide web, but at the same time, i am glad you did because almost everybody said the same thing i said and am thinking. So if that ain't enough proof then i dont know what is for you.
2016-05-24 01:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
silly. you know there's definately something wrong with his behavior or you wouldn't have asked this question. of course there's something VERY wrong with this. he's your HUSBAND. now, granted im not married yet, and the fact that i'm under 25, i plan on asking my girl to marry me soon. there is no f-ing way that i will be able to do that with another girl...even IF it's over the internet...and chances are, your guy and that other girl...its not just over the internet. sorry for being the pessimist...but be real. i would say that asking for sex life advice from other women is not cheating at all...but telling another girl...ESPECIALLY if its the same girl every/most of the time...that you want to TOUCH her is just sick if you're in a marriage. i would NEVER be able to do that to my girl. even if we're not married. i'm committed to HER, and your hubby should be COMMITTED to YOU. and ONLY you. i say there's something you need to do...and you know what that is...
2007-01-25 19:52:00 · answer #5 · answered by zeek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are putting the blinders on girl. In no way shape or form is this being happily married, plus,he basically invited her over for sex and is just waiting for her to say yes...by telling her when you worked. I hate to say it but if he isn't cheating he will be in a matter of time. Make copies of those conversations if you can, they are admissible in court.
2007-01-25 22:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a mild form of cheating. I, myself would sit him down and ask him how he would feel if I were the one talking to another man like that over the internet. He would know my feelings and it would either end or the computer would meet the sledgehammer (LOL) after I packed my belongings and had them at the door.
2007-01-25 19:45:38 · answer #7 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, major wow, i would definately have a talk with him. if my husband ever did that then there would be a major problem in this relationship. doesn't mean if it's someone he works with or a random girl. no matter what. just because he says he is just messing with her doesn't mean he won't ever do anything. i'm no one to judge but i would definately have somethin in the back of my mind from these conversations. he shouldn't be talking this way at ALL!! i hope he realizes that he's doing the wrong thing. maybe you need to talk to him about it. good luck!
2007-01-25 19:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by yourqueenofall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now if I answer yes, there are literally thousands on here cheating, including yourself. Yeah, that's being pedantic....as I keep saying, you are typing on a keyboard and reading text on a screen, if that's cheating then I guess watching a romantic movie and fantasising your one of the couple on screen is cheating also.
2007-01-25 19:44:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be cheating yet...but he is on the way there. If a person dwells on something long enough they generally do it. I wouldnt want my husband having cyber sex or conversing with other females on line.
2007-01-25 19:54:15 · answer #10 · answered by reclusive_n_fine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋