i'm married n its not a very happy marriage... now there's a guy who younger say he like mi .. wat should i do? should i go ahead n have some fun or i should stick on to my like-dead marriage ? any suggestion?
2007-01-25 19:13:42 · 29 answers · asked by galaxyy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
actually if i'm not wrong he got one outside n its been abt 4yrs since they together.. i've been tolerating since then... n whenever i told him our marriage is going to break he will turn to scream n shout n i've been in this kind of treatment for at least 8 yrs
2007-01-25 19:35:22 · update #1
Let's see if I understand this right,
1. he is cheating on you and has been for some time
2. you are not happy in the marriage
3. you want to know if it is OK to cheat on him
If this is correct then this is not a marriage it is a sham. Neither of you are committed to the other. It would be far healthier for you to file for divorce and then pursue other interests. Yes he will yell and fuss but eventually he will stop and if you leave then you won't be there to hear it anyway.
What he is doing is wrong, what you are considering is wrong, two wrongs do not make a right.
2007-01-25 21:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stick to your marriage and do everything you can to get the "like-dead" out of there. Does your husband feel the same? How long have you already invested in your marriage? Do you remember your vows, did you just mean you'd love him til the fun ran out. Create the fun. Do you do anything to help lighten the mood? Have you talked to him about changing the feeling of your relationship. You don't just go have fun elsewhere. What if you contracted an STD and gave it to your spouse, wouldn't you feel awful! Not to mention are you able to become pregnant? Wouldn't that be a sticky situation?? Think hard! Good luck in saving your marriage.
2007-01-26 03:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude...if your thinking thoughts like that the answer is divorce. it sux that you let yourself into a marriage that turned up "dead", as marriages are supposed to be "perfect." i say divorce, cuz you guys aren't in love. whatever you do...stay faithful. don't go behind his back. divorce him before you let any other guy into your life...because that would just be plain f-ed up. it's already kinda f-ed up that you're thinking about having an affair, even if it's a "dead" marriage. your responsibility is to have a divorce if you feel this way. BUT the REAL responsibility in the world of idealists is to have found a better person to marry so that it would never be a dead marriage. you messed that up for your self already so theres no point in looking at that fact now. there should have been signs that you saw before you accepted the ring or vice versa. listen to your heart, but no matter the situation...cheating is f-ed up no matter from what position you see....
and to your "additional comments," thats so horrible. WHY put yourself through that??? WHY? that's stupid. marriage is supposed to make you the happiest girl in the world. NOT the most confused/wrong. don't cheat on him cuz he cheated on you awhile ago. divorce him. before you guys create a life and mess that one up too. if you're not 100% happy with your marriage, you don't need to be in it....enough said.
2007-01-26 03:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by zeek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a little tramp. But speaking in behalf of your husband and possibly a child. I sure hope you don't have a child! Why don't you just tell your husband you don't love him and let him out of the marriage and then you can go on and be the tramp you want to be. Why should his health and well being be compromised by you? He doesn't want to catch anything from you, some STD. What a pig you are to even ask this question.
Why did you marry the man if you don't love him. I hate people like you. You go around ruining other peoples lives. If you took a bath you wouldn't be clean.
2007-01-26 03:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question. First and foremost you are married. If your marriage is dead why are you still in it? Second..turn the table, how would you feel if your husband cheated on you and Third.....no matter who you are married to until you figure out what is causing you to say your marriage is dead-like it will be the same with every marriage or relationship you have because it is something within you that has you feeling like this.
But to answer your question, cheating on your husband is wrong and if you want to move on and have some fun, leave him first then live and have fun till your hearts content but I have a strange feeling it will never be content until you fix yourself.
2007-01-26 03:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by Wrain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are in an unhappy marriage then the best thing to do would be to seriously think about where you want to be and what yo want to do. If you have tried all that you can to turn your marriage into a happy one and it is not working, then you should consider leaving it. Playing around is not going to make anything better. Finish one thing before you start another. If you want out then get out, why hurt your partner unneccesarily by cheating? good luck.
2007-01-26 03:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend to give it a whirl. I've done it many times even if it's not something I'm not proud of. Actually it added perspective to my marriage. Now, I don't do it anymore and my marriage is better than ever. It may let you see things you didn't before because you may find your new sex partner is not as good as what you have. But its a big choice. Think it over.
2007-01-26 03:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by Boatman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it's better to end one relationship before starting another. Cheating is never the solution, it just creates more problems. And if are really that unhappy you should leave anyway, regardless of this other guy. That is just running from one relationship to another. It's a surefire way to doom the relationship you are leaving for. The fact is that 60% of second marriages end in divorce (10% more than first) for this exact reason. Different problem, different person laying next to you.
2007-01-26 03:20:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick on to your dead-marriage. You married him and now you have to pay the price, if you have fun you'll ruin everything. You don't have feelings for him anymore, leave him, divorce him. You're not willing to make it work anyway, you just want to move on, so do it. Why keep his feelings lying in the balance so he can get hurt? Even if he's cheating on you, leave him so you're doing the right thing. There is no "fun" when you're married. It's adultery. Remember that.
2007-01-26 03:19:11 · answer #9 · answered by April 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your not happy in your marriage then you should end it. What you are looking for is someone to give you the ok to have an affair on your husband. What if the shoe were on the other foot and it was your husband looking to have the affair in the end you would be the one to get hurt. You need to get a divorce before you start seeing someone else.
2007-01-26 03:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by luscious0071 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋