a workmate asked me if he could get a lift home 2 weeks ago and i said no problem so now every day he asks is it ok to get a lift and i havent got the heart to say no, it only takes me 5-10mins out my way but now i wish i hadent started it, how can i get out this situation? i dont want him to think im being nasty / selfish, any advice as i dont want to fall out with him.
2007-01-25 18:41:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
JUST TELL HIM YOU WANT PETROL MONEY
HE MIGHT GIVE IN
2007-01-25 18:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him a lift today, but tell him you won't be able to for the next few weeks because you've got plans after work that will be taking you home a different way - new gym or something - and he'd better make other arrangements.
Best I can come up with. At least if he asks again in a few weeks, you can either decide you don't mind, or get him to contribute towards petrol, or something.
Good luck!
2007-01-25 18:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by RM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways to tackle this;
First of all, cut to the quick. Say, next time he asks,
" Look, it wasn't a problem when it was just a once off, or an occasional event, but if it's going to be every day, I think we should come to an arrangement over a little contribution to the petrol costs."
Simple.
If he reacts badly to this, teel him that the offer of a lift regretfully has to be with drawn. Be really nice about it.
What sort of a thicko is he anyway to think he can sponge freebie lifts from someone for the rest of his days?
The other option is to lie a little.
Tell him it no longer is convenient to drop him home in the evenings; that the offer was for occasional emergencies and you never intended it to be a permanent arrangement.
This is a tough one, but I think that any of us who drive to work have been caught this way.
It happened to me last year. I gave a neighbour a lift to the area where I work, and she was rabbitting on about how great it could be if she met me every morning, that she would pay me etc..
I told her my working hours were unusual, in that I took it turns with my colleague to work early and late weeks; that on the late week, I didn't start till 10am. Anyway, for the next few mornings, she was waiting for me when I left. The following Monday, when I was on a 10am start, she called to my house at 7.30am asking when I was going to get moving, that she was late for work!!
Told her politely it was my late week and I would not be leaving the house till 9. Angry shouts from her of "how am I supposed to get to work?"
End of arrangement.
2007-01-25 19:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ouch its an awkward one - I dont really have much to add on to what everybody else has said here regarding excuses or petrol money - but all I can say is that the longer you let it carry on the harder it will be to break the routine.
He may be just ignorant to the fact that its taking you out of your way - or he may be one of these people that just takes advantage regardless.
I think you should just mention it to him that it is in fact going out of your way - and its not that thats putting you off droping him home everyday - more the fact that after you drop him off the traffic heading in the direction of your house is usually quite busy.
A real friend is not going to fall out with you over this - Im sure he just doesnt realise the situation in full.
xx
2007-01-25 20:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok i have an idea - tell him after you drop him off that you constantly get stuck in traffic for about 20 mins and you're gonna have to go a different way home next time as it's making you really late in getting home. He's a bit cheeky asking you every day for a lift!!
2007-01-25 18:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy - set a date limit till when u feel it is ok for you to give your workmate a lift -and tell your wrk-mate that as of - - -- you can drop him off at the corner of - - - - which is on YOUR route home . You do not need to lie , you do not need to explain any further . Should your wrk-mate question u why , THEN u can tell him that it is really out of the way for you .
I do not suggest that u ask for money for dropping your wrk-mate off to his doorstep , cos then since he will be paying you only because u asked him , u will be oblidged to drop him off to his doorstep even if u have the need to be somewhere in a hurry .
Just remember , there are "smart cookies " all around us , they can see how humble you are , >>>> YOUR WRK-MATE SHOULD HAVE OFFERED A CONTRIBUTION WITHOUT U ASKING - he is taking advantage of your kindness - in a very diplomatic way - be strong , he is your wrk-mate - not your lover
2007-01-25 19:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad about saying no. I know it's difficult but you have no obligation to keep giving him a lift. People are saying it's only 5 or 10 minutes out of your way but so what? Definitiely ask for petrol money if it's going to be a regular thing. Taxis wouldn't do it for free-why should you?
2007-01-25 20:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by william_c_munny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u do have a heart by giving ur workmate a lift home. come to a deal with him say to him:hi
2007-01-25 19:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say..Look mate, I don't mind giving you a lift home..but it is out of my way, so if you don't mind contributing something towards the petrol and the convenience of you not having to wait for buses...I will be happy to continue.
He will have known that he was using you; and now that you have made it clear to him that YOU are also aware that HE is using you...He will either start contributing or he will be the one left to figure out an excuse to tell you why he can't travel with you anymore.
2007-01-28 21:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by Afi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't say no, come up with some excuses: you're in a rush so you have to go straight home, you're going to the gym, you're meeting friends. Eventually he'll get the message. If that doesn't work, ask him to chip in for fuel. At the moment you're a free taxi service.
2007-01-25 18:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its not nasty or selfish to tell him that u cant do this every day as its bringing u out of ur way and u have also other things to do and u get late .
i am sure he'll understand and if not he will be the selfish one !
2007-01-25 20:20:11 · answer #11 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋