For the last 5 or so years, I have not had one moment of fun, of living. It's like i'm forever trying to be in control of everything or something, i'm thinking maybe I put up some kind of barriers earlier in my life, & ever since it's like anything that is unknown to me gets held back untill I have control of it or something. I don't know.
It's been too long, i'm going mad.
Please help. I can't afford therapy.
2007-01-25 18:30:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
One thing you need to do is to look at yourself from a third person perspective... Isn't it wonderful to see yourself??? Now try to look at yourself and the life your living right now. Try to look at the things you need to control and ask yourself "why?". Try to ask why are you doing it? Why does it make me feel better? Why does it make me want to gain control of it? Am I controlling it or is it controlling me? OR vice-versa... Is it a situation too big for me? Is it a thing that can be just enjoyed or appreciated or learned? Will controlling it bring me to the things that I need the most? Will that thing bring about a change in me or my perception? Will that thing I want to control bring about a situation that would be good for me?
You might be wondering why I'm asking these questions... Simple... It is a small thing and you feel inferior about it. Cut it loose... have fun... see it as it is... as something below you and you do not need to control it. Remember, you cannot control anything be it the weather, the people around you, the way things are happening, and the way people react. You can only control yourself... You better be in good shape... mentally, emotionally and spiritually to grasp that come things are just things. You are above them. You let them be and you be you, that is how things are... No control is necessary.... just express yourself and balance your life. It's supposed to be fun... ;-)
2007-01-25 22:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by DEADPOOL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to have fun in life. What kind of barriers have you put up possibly? Do you have a family? Do they give you the space you need? Maybe you are just too busy!!!!
Unknown things can be very scary. Don't feel bad about that. You need a stabilizing Source in your life that you can always fall back on. One Who is always there. The best way to get help is saying you need it.
Do you like movies? Watch a good comedy.
Do you have neighbors that have less than you do? Maybe someone needs you or what you can give and you are too busy thinking about your own problems. Sometimes the greatest help you can get is when you help someone else. Good day and God bless you. Email if you want. I'm looking for answers too. So many are in the same boat as you. You are not crazy.
2007-01-26 03:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by mylittlecrocus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we try to control things when we have lacked control in the past. Regardless of why or when an incident may have happened, we need to realize in the present that control is only an illusion. Once we are able to do that, letting go can be very freeing. The only real thing we can control is our personal response to things. The fact that you have not had any fun in the last 5 yrs leads me to believe that you need to seek help with medication (for depression) and counseling, to re-program your negative thought pattern. The meds can help free you to explore the root cause behind your feelings. Some therapists think that finding the root cause or event is not important, but I personally think it is. It may take time, even years. But when you discover why you feel so bad, what tainted your feelings and confront it.... it is the beginning to healing.
At least see your MD regarding this.. he/she may want to prescribe some antidepressants. Then look into community or state-sponsered mental health programs. They do exist, and you can ask your dr. for help finding a referral.
good luck and God bless..
2007-01-26 02:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Napa_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the answer and it is only a dollar to free. Abe books.com should have it. The Road Less Traveled by Peck. Also i had that problem. I had barriers i didn't know i had. I thought i had broken them all down but no i didn't . To this day i have a barrier up that i want left up and is up by choice. I have chosen to keep one up and it is healthy for me. You said it yourself when you asked the question. You said you are trying to be in control of everything. That is the answer right there to your question. You need to let go of that control and give in to yourself. You are trying to control YOUR OWN EMOTIONS. Let YOURSELF go and GIVE IN TO YOURSELF! You have to realize that you need to someway somehow take some time to be alone for a time and get to know you and let all your feelings out and know who you are and love yourself and allow you to be #1. Pick up a pen and paper and write a letter to someone you know and tell them exactly how you feel and who you are and a personal aspect of your life they do not know about you. Send it! TAKE A RISK!! Life is about taking Risks that is how the barriers get broken. If you get hurt in the process it is okay. Remember mistakes are how we learn and grow. It is okay to make mistakes. Make a mistake learn from it and move on. You put up barriers because you did not forgive yourself for making mistakes and did not want to bear the hurt so you put up wall after wall until you became jaded. Basically to the point of where you lost touch and cannot even get to the walls. You can as i said even it means you locking yourself in your room and taking your phone off the hook or turning off your cell phone. Be alone!!!!! Write that personal letter to someone that you care about in your life. You will be amazed at how many walls are broken down. Read the book i recommended. TAKE RISKS!!!!
2007-01-26 04:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by wonderboy n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, you sound a lot like I used to feel. I think if you do what I did it would bring peace upon you and you could go from there working on other problems you might have.
#1 Give your life to Jesus. He will make you complete and your burdens will be lifted off of your shoulders and you will feel such peace!!!Let God be in control and you just believe and have faith that he will carry you all the way!!!
#2 If you want to do #1 then here's how to start. Admit that your a sinner, believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins, and ask him to forgive you of your sins.
# 3 If you do #2 or you want to learn more first let me no and I will try to assist you in any way I can. I personally know that for me Jesus is the root of all happiness. He has blessed me and loved me and filled me with a reason to live and be happy!!! I'm so excited about it I can hardly contain it!!! If you need more info email me @ highlight0405@Yahoo.com
I will pray for you because I love you in christ and I want you to be happy like me and feel peace like me.
2007-01-26 02:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by highlight0405 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every state has free (or sliding scale) mental health services, including therapy. The clinics are not normally advertised--so you may need to call an emergency room or police department to find out where they are.
I hope that you find a clinic soon, because it looks as though you have had five lousy years--it's time to feel better and have some fun. If you have insurance for a medical doctor, he or she can diagnose you, and possibly refer you to therapy.
2007-01-26 02:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel guilty? Did your mother control you? Did you feel rejected as a child? Did you feel like you had to be perfect to be accepted -- and even your best efforts weren't good enough?
Do you constantly criticize yourself in your mind?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, do you have any idea how to fix it? If you're guilty, what for? Can you forgive yourself? Could you ask God for forgiveness? If your mother controlled you, can you forgive your mother? Could you call her or write her a letter and tell her you forgive her? you get the idea. You have the answers for all your problems within. Just get quiet and don't be afraid of the questions.
2007-01-26 03:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by emsjoflo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once like that. Drinking does not help, dont listen to dinah. I would recommend you to talk to a friend. Someone you trust. Or just call any of your good buddies and plan to do something that you like. or at least, you once like. rollerblading, swimming, clubbing, whatever it is. Just don't say that your favourite pastime is reading. I have no objections to that - i love reading - but pick an activity that actually requires you to get off your butt. Then write about it. Share to an overseas friend. You'll feel better.
2007-01-26 02:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by Eury Peima 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something evil has a grip on you at the moment|
You need a deliverance from it|
God will, in His own time, give you that deliverance|
But He is allowing that to happen to you right now because He is profoundly purifying you with it|
But once that is clear (and it will be at a certain time in your life), you will be happier and freer than you ever have been before|
---
2007-01-26 04:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by Catholic Philosopher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your close friends/family lately? It's a good place to start. You know they're always there for you no matter what. So I think they're a good place to start. THINK OPTIMISTIC!
You can also try http://www.43things.com/ It's a website where people write what they want to accomplish and probably a lot more people want to accomplish the same goal. Just check it out, it might prove useful to you.
What do you want to do with your life? - http://www.43things.com/
2007-01-26 02:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by mr x krazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋