I'm trying to overcome my issues with women and I need a model?

Question

I figured it would be a good idea to find someone who had the same problems I do have and managed to overcome them to serve as inspiration.

So there are two issues:

1. How can I discover (a) who I am and (b) my fears, limitations etc?

2. How can I find a person with a similar answer to (1a), that overcame (1b)?

Answer 1

You perfect model would be MADONNA.... ;)

Answer 2

I don't think looking for some who will be a "model" is going to help you because whenever someone has any issues they need to address them themselves. They need to figure out what it is about themselves they want to change, what it is about themselves that they like and wouldn't want to change, and what there may be that may not be as emotionally solid as they should be.

Part of the thing about living and growing is figuring out who you are, and once people get to a certain level of maturity they then are pretty certain about who they are.

As far as "fears, limitations" go, you know what your fears and limitations are. What you may not have thought out was how to overcome them. As with all things that must be overcome, though, those are things you need to figure out for yourself (maybe by reading some "legitimate" material about such things or by talking to friends or family or just by thinking).

Read a few biographies of people who have done something important in history or science. I don't mean history books. I mean biographies - books about the whole person's life and personality. You'll probably see things about that person that you feel you are similar or else you'll see things you admire and want to model yourself after. It doesn't have to be a historical figure. I could be a present-day person who has accomplished something big or important.

Also, if you think of ways you can help other people you will start to know more about yourself.

I think you can learn about who you are by who and what other people are, but not in the way you think you have to (the woman who is a role model).

You know what you like and what you don't like, what you're good at and what you're not good, and who the important people in your life are.

Answer 3

Actually, I have enlisted the help of many women to learn who and what I am, and have, hopefully, helped them to learn something about themselves. Use them like mirrors to look at yourself: you cannot use them to change you or give you value if you have none. You are the ultimate boss of you, and you cannot delegate this to a dream girl, no matter how wonderful she might appear to be...

The fears and limitations in dealing with women will all disappear when you get older. (They will become annoyances and irritations after you've been married, but you and your mate will have learned coping tactics by then....)

Good luck. It's do-able. It's been getting done for millions of years of human history.