Please help!?

Question

Please help me if you can. What I thought of as a simple PMS, turned out into a feeling of complete hopelessness, maybe even anxiety attack. My business is not doing well; I am not making any money at all, and my relationship with my boyfriend seams to be sleeping away. It’s almost like I can’t get over the belief that I don’t deserve what I want in life. The feeling of not being worthy is wearing me out. I thought that I worked things out within myself, but apparently I missed something. I am desperately trying to hold on to the idea of going deep inside, quiet my thoughts, and I find myself having really hard time in doing so. Usually I end up falling a sleep and waking up with a sense of failure. Failure is pretty much what I feel most of the time. I always feel like I failed with everything in my life, like I never got anywhere, like I’ve been repeating my past over and over again. Why do I always feel like such a looser? Why am I always so harsh on myself? Why do I always have compassion for others, but none for myself?
How can I go deep within myself, for real, and once and for all put to rest all those thoughts, concerns and beliefs? How can I don’t fall a sleep while trying to do so? How can I find the peace within me? I know it’s there, how can I dig it out? How? How? How? For god’s sake; how? Tell me what to do.

Answer 1

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Answer 2

You should probably see a therapist or a psychiatrist who can help you sort things out.

There's so much going on with you that it's hard to figure out how to answer your question. A professional therapist could do that for you.

There does seem to be a consistent tone of severe depression, though. The feelings that you don't deserve things, that you're worthless, a failure, not being worthy, and so on, are consistent with depression - not just the blues, but serious depression.

Remember, I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR PSYCHOLOGIST. I'm just a BBS hack who thinks you should probably see someone. Your last sentence indicates that you're getting desperate and that's a pretty bad sign.

Check out the local hospitals for free "wellness" programs that may be able to get you in touch with qualified therapists. Or, if they don't have the programs, they may be able to make a referral. Otherwise, you may have to point and shoot in the yellow pages for a therapist near you.

Do you have a family doctor? He/she could help you with getting a therapist too.

Don't be afraid or hesitant if you decide to give it a try. It'll be good for you. You need something good.

Good luck,
Big Al Mintaka


FOLLOWUP: the problem with self-help remedies for depression, as some of the other responders have suggested, is that they're very hard to implement if you're severely depressed. You just don't have the energy to get moving on those. Professional help can get you started on them later on in your therapy.

Try not to let this go untreated. At least give the pros a try, as I and a few other responders suggested. Don't get drunk, and avoid the New Age advice that sounds like meaningless doubletalk (because that's what it is!).

Here I go again! Best wishes,

Big Al Mintaka

Answer 3

You are allowing yourself to feel like this. You need to stop looking at the big picture and break it down into pieces. Once you break your puzzle down into pieces and place one piece at a time, be thankful that you go that piece in place and move on to the next piece.

Failure....you can't fail if you don't try...So give yourself credit for at least trying. You only learn from failure..as what NOT to do again so give yourself credit for trying, don't put yourself down for failing at what you tried. You would have never known if you could do it had you not tried it. So you have great courage for trying.

You talk about going deep inside but instead you fall asleep. Well, if you were not at peace you would not have fallen asleep. The anxiet would have kept you awake. Don't come down on yourself for falling asleep, instead be thankful that your body knew when to shut down and allow you to get some rest.

When the time is right in your life, all the things that you are worrying about will work themselves out.

If the thing with the boyfriend isn't working, maybe he isn't the right one. Don't be sad over that or you will miss the opportunity to take what you learned from the relationship and use it to make your next relationship better.

Bottom line, nothing and I mean nothing in this world can make you feel any certain way. You ALLOW yourself to feel that way and until you grab hold and stop allowing the behavior it is going to be hard. Nobody or Anything should have so much control over you as to let it get you to this point. Take your feeling back and promise yourself that you are not going to let this have that much control over your life, that you are going to take it back!

Very good luck with this. I went through something like this a few years ago and it wasn't until I was down to the last straw that I realized that I was allowing whatever emotion I was feeling to take control of me and there was no way I was going to let them or it win. I took back control and I can tell you my life and everyone around me lives have been better for it.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

You really need to just relax... Life isnt meant to be miserable...You need to find the better things in life you have a problem that nobody can help you with you have to find the happieness deep inside yourself... You will find your way! Never give up! I suffered from anxiety also and I just had to slow down. Join a group with similar interests as you, do something you love... It cant always be about work because happyness is all the little things in life strung together. Put aside times for the good times and when you work get down to business. Find friends and people who love you in your life. You have to structure your life on happyness not work allthough it cant always be fun try to make it as fun as possible.

Answer 5

The trials of this life are very hard to endure. I have lived in this world for a long time and I can tell you how I got to know peace. I met a man called Jesus Christ. I am not kidding, I thought I could be happy when I married, had a house, had children, a good job. It all left me empty and hungry for something but I did not know how to fill the void. I was raised Baptist so I went back to church and got baptized but it still was not enough.. Finally I was still seeking God and not able to find Him when at my low point I had no shame and I went to a revival and choose to get spirit filled...(Something that the Baptist never gave me).....My life has not been the same since.... Go to a church that gives you a touch from God you will never be the same...Ask God to have the Holy Spirit to dwell in side of you and fill you with His power.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are falling into a depression with all the negative thinking that your doing. When you get depresssed you start to expect bad things to happen and then becasue you are thinking negatively like this bad things do happen!!!!!!! Start with monitoring every single negative thought you have then correct yourself into thinking the positive. Even a small negative thought can sabotage you. Good luck !

" Be aware of your Thoughts, they become Words.
Be aware of your Words, they become Actions.
Be aware of your Actions, they become Habits.
Be aware of your Habits, they become your Destiny.
Be the Creator of Your own Destiny. "

Answer 7

I would pray and try yoga as well as meditation. God made you and you are therefore meant for something and are good. Life is about the journey and not the destination. Crosby, Stills and Nash say "Life is for learning."

Answer 8

seek profesional help not saying this as an insult but you seem to be suffering from major depresion I hope you feel better

Answer 9

I would get extremelly drunk everyday. That is a cure for your problem.You easily beable to sleep and begin forgeting things.

Answer 10

Help someone else. get the focus off yourself.