i dont knwo what to o with myself! im really depressed.... my bf and i are taking a break...?

Question

my bf and i decided to take a break. well it was his idea. we are both sophmors in college and have been dating for over 2 years. he has been really stressed out with school and work. even before school started he always told me how worried he was abotu me. he rtied to take a break from me last semester to focus on schol but he was stubborn and didnt do to well so i guess i let go of him for who knows how long (the end of the semester is in may) im just depressed. he has been mean about thigns so far. about how well only talk once a week (i know he will be calling more though) btu he said there is a good chance of getting back togehter and i knwo know he means it cause sometimes when we got into arguements. he would say "i dont want to say anythign cause i dont want to get your hopes up and have things turn out not what you expected) stuff liek that. so i know he means it when he says theres a good chance.we talked everyday and say eachother often. but he does work 40+hrs a week and is

takign the higest level of math and science classes.. which he super stressed about! but i dont know how to cheer up. he still says he loves me but im jst upset that he says we'll only talk once a week. but he says there is a good chance. but he is just stressed right now. and NO there is NOT ANOTHER PERSON INVOLVED! in positive about it. our relationship was nice. we had great communication and alot of trust. we got into the occassional arguments liek other couples do once in a while... i dont have any friends. people at work have been being noce to me and they kjnwo him and say we will get back together.. . but i dont have anyone else to talk to =( im not close with my moma nd i dont have any friends...

but there isnt another person involved..


and im sorry for my spelling...

i know but he was very mean to me earlier and hurt my feelings and made me cry so much. i asked him if he still oved me adn he said : i dotn have to answer that we arent dating anymore" he finnally said he did and hung up on me.. he said he isnt going to say i love you to me when we talk "cause we arent dating: and says "i dont have to love you right now" hes just beign a real jerk and its just hurting me even more. im just afraid well drift apart and he will not love me anymore.. =( i know he needs his space. i said i would call him on sunday night when i got off from work. i told him when i got off shoudl i wait for him to call me? people say it wil help. cause if i go after him i will just look desperate.. =\

i know but he was very mean to me earlier and hurt my feelings and made me cry so much. i asked him if he still oved me adn he said : i dotn have to answer that we arent dating anymore" he finnally said he did and hung up on me.. he said he isnt going to say i love you to me when we talk "cause we arent dating: and says "i dont have to love you right now" hes just beign a real jerk and its just hurting me even more. im just afraid well drift apart and he will not love me anymore.. =( i know he needs his space. i said i would call him on sunday night when i got off from work. i told him when i got off shoudl i wait for him to call me? people say it wil help. cause if i go after him i will just look desperate.. =\

i know i didn make him angry earlier though so that just set him off... i dont have freinds cause im not in college to make friends. im there to learn and earn a degree (we are only in community college) but i jus hope i dont regret takign a break from him.. and i hope this will only make our relationship stronger when we do get back together.

i meant when we get into arguements about diffrent things. he would say he didnt want to get my hopes up if i asked him a question (he didnt want to get my hopes up) but when i asked him if we would get back together. he immediately said that there is a good chance. which i know he means it wasnt a some answer liek "well i dont knwo we;ll see what happnens i dont want to do anythign to get your hopes up" but gave me an immediate answer... i know he is stressed out. and i just want the best for him. but i do think. we need some time apart... he said he would miss me alot.

Answer 1

I felt the same way recently only I am married. Try not calling him and see how long it takes him to call you. Play alittle hard to reach, abscense makes the heart grow fonder. Concentrate on making new friends to help easy the pain. Use this time as a positive thing to grasp who you are as one because this is what attracted him to you in the first place. If you need a friend to talk to email me and we can exchange numbers. I dont have very many friends to talk that arnt in my immediate life setting.

Answer 2

No offense but you are really depending on this "there is a chance". You quoted this about 2-3 times in this one paragraph. You should accept this friendship because this man seems like hes a good one and honest enough to tell you that he needs a break (since you know that hes not cheating). If he loves you he will come back to you once all his stresses are out of the way. I, myself, know what its like to be in college. Its a pain in the *** and its also puts a damper on relationships because you cant create time you dont have. Go involve yourself in something constructive like a yoga class or recreation. Why dont you have any friends? Wheres your family?

Answer 3

you just gotta keep plugging away and work on improving YOU! do something new, take a class, change your daily routine, etc. it will help you meet friends. believe me, these things get better. you are both young, and not the only ones to have gone through it. i was a bio major in college. it is tough, esp when balancing time with a great girl like you. if you back off him, but then treat him nice and show interest in how the studies are going...sincere interest...you will have a friend for life in him, and of course maybe more. He will really appreciate your interest in HIS well being, not that his hard work is taking away from you. make it so it is about HIM when you see him, and about YOU when you don't. he will love you forever. good luck.

Answer 4

I think you should eat a lot of fish. Eating fish help you to release your depression. It is all the chemicals in your body that make you feel this way.
Also, I think you should leave him alone for a while. School and 40+ hrs of work a week can be stressful. I think you should be focusing on your school works toward your bachelor degree. Guys can come a go, but your degree will stay with you forever. Also, go out and meet a lot of friends. With more friends, he is not in the center of your universe.
Study hard and be somebody like doctor and lawyer. good luck.

Answer 5

you know...... we are all co-dependent to some degree. It's just a fact in life. There are two kinds of co dependency, the healthy kind which is when you can be with the other person and they are able to be with you every spare second and it will not interfere with the necessities of life, job, family, friends, etc.
Then there is the oh so not healthy kind of co dependency which basically puts an end to everything save for the relationship itself, which I have found will eventually just suck the life out of the people involved, causing resentment and eventual break up which at that point is the healthiest decision that can be made. Which one are you.
Best regards always

Answer 6

Let him worry about all of his worries. It doesn't matter if there is someone else or not. By telling you he doesn't want to get your hopes up, he is getting your hopes up. You are the backup plan in case something else doesn't come along. And that doesn't mean that he is doing it to be mean to you. It is just covering. It would be considered a good business plan. But that doesn't do you any good. Break off all contact. Being 'friends' just puts you in such a bad place.
Move on. Go on a date even if you are not interested in the guy.

Answer 7

Pour yourself into your studies. While you give yourself a break from each other. It will be awesome when next you communicate with him.
Cuz you both will have missed each other so. That's what makes a relationship so special. It's not the end of the world.
Please make this a positive time for yourself!

Answer 8

Heres some advice from someone who is going through something similar. You both need to compromise, you need to set when you can talk and when you can hang out. If you actually figure something out and stick to it works. you both need to be supportive of each other and understand that you can't see each other every day or every other day. Working out a plan with each other might work so try it.

Answer 9

go to da movies,draw, paint, do something to keep yur mind off of him, go to the beach, make your self happy(i no im the one to talk,with all the depression problems i have) but dont think about him cuz its gonna mess you up at work, at school and when u r just watching t.v or somethin, i no its hard not to thonk about him but you have to think of something happy!!

Answer 10

Your only problem is that you are feeling lonely.Check out with other friends,if possible
Give the guy a break. he needs it.Rest everything is fine in your relationship.