I think I am depending on my job to keep me from thinking about my problems at home?

Question

I have decided I need to get control of my life. I think the people around me are controlling me and its making me unhappy.. My boyfriend of 5 yrs told me he didnt want to marry me because I would withhold sex to get my way, and added, just like the ex wife. I responded too much information and I dont want to hear about his ex anymore. I told him about 2 weeks ago, if he was not interested in cementing our relationship with a ring and a future, I did not want to engage in sex any longer with him because it means he is just using me. Am I right?
My 19 yr old daughter ran off to live with a married, nasty, skank 26 yr old man who lives in a trailer with 1/4 the front door beat in.
I was upset about it until I started thinking she is not my responsibility any longer. She will make her own way in the world. Live and learn! I cant stop her. She is on her own now.
Am I sounding like a cold witch, or should I cry and be upset?
Only thing going right is my job. I work and work.

Answer 1

The problem with burying yourself in your work is that your problems still exist - you're just biding your time until you're ready to face them.

As for your boyfriend, sounds like his ex really did a number on him, but not wanting to get married doesn't mean he's using you. He's probably just afraid of this ending in divorce. Talk to him about it. If you feel strongly about getting married - tell him so. Instead of w/h sex, sit down with him and explain why you want to get married and give him a chance to explain his reasons for not wanting to get married right now. Be ready for a reply whether it be giving him more time (and letting him know how much time you're willing to give him) or even ending the relationship.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Getting involved with a married man is never a good idea and usually ends in getting hurt. No mother wants to see that happen to her child. I have a seven year old daughter and my hope is that she'll meet a nice Christian man, buy a nice home and live happily ever after. No where in there do I imagine this man being married or their home being a beat up trailer. If she made this same decision I'd also be disappointed and probably lose my voice lecturing her about it. The thing is you can't make thier decisions for them. I wish I had an easy answer for this, but I don't. Just do your best to support her, but let her know that you DO NOT support her actions (living with a married man and her living conditions).

In the meantime, take some time for yourself. Go to a movie by yourself, go shopping and buy yourself something nice - sounds like you deserve it!