what do you think of my song and i need help for the talent show?

Question

i wipe off the tears that run down this face
shackin in my seat as they listen for a heart beat
i close my eyes and start to wonder why your leaving us like this
i was the bad one i never listened
i left the messes and never bothered to help
let me tell you
listenin to the doctor say that your not gonna make it made me think of all the things i never did for you oh daddy you can make it through
oh daddy please please try. i dont want to see mommy cry. daddy daddy please try.

Answer 1

The *** who responded this first always does that Douglas Adams thing, he's just a boring moron, pay no attention to that crap.
As for the poem/song, the emotions may be sincere, but as a song/poem, this is lame - it's totally straightforward and completely personal, commu icates only with those whose father may be ill at the moment, and who feel bad about themselves.

Answer 2

. I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective. Interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of the artist compassionate soul, which contrives through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever it was the song is about!