my partner has been gambling for the last few years. It is ruining our relationship and our family. I do not know how to help him especially when he wont help himself. If there is any advice anyone can give me it will be greatly appreciated
2007-01-25 16:49:33 · 21 answers · asked by danielle m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have an intervention get together the important people in his life and let him know he MUST seek professional help. Good luck
2007-01-25 16:53:31 · answer #1 · answered by steffi 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Make sure that you don't have any debts together. Don't give him your credit cards or allow him to open any accounts, get any loans or apply for credit under your name. If he gets mad and wants to leave then let him. Unfortunately they wont realize they must stop until they hit rock bottom and the sooner they do it the better off they are. Don't enable him by covering him financially. If you do, he'll take you down with him.
If you're not married, make sure you don't marry him. His liabilities will become yours. I hope you take these warnings seriously because you are in danger of losing your future.
Tell his friends and family to set up an intervention. If he hears it from a lot of people who love him, he may hate it and deny it, but later, especially after a loss, he'll start thinking about it and maybe, just maybe he'll get help.
Call you rlocal gambler's anonymous and see what suggestions they may provide for you.
Good luck. It's probably harder on you than anyone else. hope it works out for the best for you.
2007-01-26 00:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by TJTB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, First of all don`t make any money available. If the gambling gets so bad it affect the quality of your life, your going to have to make hard choices in your relationship
2007-01-26 08:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by tonyflorida2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself have been in the same situation, i have been gambling for yrs, it has cost me alot of heartache and much more than i can explain, i got a hobby of rebuilding old cars, and spent my money on that, so what i would be saying is to find your spouse a good hobby and keep them intrested in it, eventually the urge does pass, and they will find better things to do with their time, if i can further help, feel free to email me anytime,,,, it is a hard HABIT,,,,, to quit, but i think that if i overcome it then anyone could,,,, hope this helps...
2007-01-26 00:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by tutankhamen2007 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THIS IS HARD! My best friends husband has a bad problem. It got so bad she had to lay her ring down on the table and ask him to choose. Gambling or her? He chose her and hasn't gambled for years. If your partner loves you they will respect your wishes. Good luck to you.
2007-01-26 00:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by umindy78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow..that is one expensive habit..
For a problem like this, I suppose counseling and staying away for all aspects of gambling... Its kind of hard , not like a drug or drink you can just take away and detox from..
I have heard of groups like Gamblers Anonymous.. You might have to take a drastic step, such as an ultimatum..and hold your ground, if you want to get him to realize he needs the counseling..
Sometimes you have to break your own heart to get a partner realize that their life is going down the drain..
Good luck...
2007-01-26 00:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you watch Dr Phil, he'll tell you just pack up with your children and take off. You have no skills to change him, whether he abuses alcohol or gambling. They have to sink very low and likely drag everybody with them. You should protect your family. If there is any money left that is common, you should take it to feed your children first.
Dr Phil or not, you stand a very low chance of changing him. Nor is it a place to show your "true love" to stand by him
2007-01-26 01:30:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He has an illness and it is called ADDICTION. No one can help if he doesn't want it. I am sure that you love him deeply or it wouldn't hurt so badly. As was mentioned before an intervention is good but be ready to do what you have to to keep you and your family secure. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-01-26 01:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plan to leave. Talk to creditors so that you wont be liable for his future debts. you cant control it and he cant control it. Stop struggling. see a therapist. go to a Gamblers Anon meeting and ask for a recommendation for a therapist.
Plan to leave dear. If he is afraid of your leaving he will get help too.
2007-01-26 00:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by dearborne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help someone who is not ready for the help. It won't work. Accept your partner the way they are or find someone else. It is not your responsibility to fix somebody unless it is your child. Nor is it your right to fix somebody.
2007-01-26 01:28:32 · answer #10 · answered by g g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋