I want to get married! I am tired of waiting and seeing what's going to happen and everything. I want to build a future with my man. And if he's not willing I should not waste my time right? So should I give him like a time period to marry me or no? I mean I want a tru from the heart commitment, and it doesnt have to be anything fancy! So what should I do!?!?!?!?!? Dr. Phil says do it but would that just be pushing him away!?!?
2007-01-25 16:40:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
22 almost a year....he is 29!
2007-01-25 17:00:20 · update #1
Oh' no rush...It's just that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's amazing, and everything.
2007-01-25 17:02:39 · update #2
Oh' no rush...It's just that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's amazing, and everything. We have great communiction for the most part...
2007-01-25 17:03:07 · update #3
I think it depends on how long you have been together. If you have been together at least a year then go for it girl! You could even have a semi-long engagement if it would make him feel better. Don't make it sound like an ultimatum, no one likes an ultimatum.
Best of luck to you....
2007-01-25 16:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by Weezy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not give a man an ultimatum, that would pretty much tell him you're in the relationship for a ring only, and not for the welfare of the union.
i never understood how women consider it a waste of time when the person they're with hasn't mentioned or isn't ready to get married.
if you want a truly heartfelt commitment, do not rush him. tell him how you feel. how long has the relationship been? look into his eyes and tell him that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you want to build a family together, etc. etc. in essence, that's what marriage is.
i suggest have a little more patience. try living with him, see how that goes. if it's cupcakes and never-ending chocolate milk, than progress the relationship further.
if you rush him, and tell him it's now or never, than you WILL push him away. take your time and build the BEST relationship possible. rushed marriages usually end in failure.
2007-01-25 16:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by robyoung3484 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The relationship you want is something he must want and you both agree to. Not forced---not coerced, not done just because you wanted it. Any marriage is made of trust, integrity, caring, nurturing, and togetherness...AND COMMUNICATIONS----that means learning how and when to discuss anything with your mate...this topic is such a thing to discuss when the time is right and you can talk openly and freely about a serious relationship to include marriage. Anything less will cause tension and uneasiness---so agree to talk and then do it. If the answer is not what you want, explain that you want time to find a man that shares your hopes and dreams. It takes time and you cannot rush it---if you do--it will be extremely unpleasant and unrewarding. Good luck to you....and remember--your future is up to you--no one else !!! That's a fact.
2007-01-25 16:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're ready for marriage and he ain't, then split ways for a bit. He may realize that he was ready to settle down with you after all.
I guess firstly, the question would be how long ya'll been dating. If it's just a few months and you're ready to make it permenant and he's not...that's understandable. If it's been like a three year date and still no engagement ring, he probably ain't the settle down type. If that's what you want, you're looking in the wrong place, part ways in a friendly manner, wish each other the best, and get on with life. Because in your eyes, it's being wasted. (But that's just to you)
2007-01-25 16:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by unclewill67 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you sat down and had a serious discussion about it yet?
Men can be pretty dumb about these kinds of things. They don't realize how serious a woman is.
Woman also assume things and do not communicate how important things are to men. We often need to be told point blank.
Just say something like, "Honey, I don't like just drifting along with no plans. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. When is it going to happen?"
The best thing is to get away for a weekend or something and show him how great your life together is going to be. After it is over, then talk to him. Remember, wait until the end of the weekend, when he is putty in your hands.
2007-01-25 16:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try communicating with your partner.
Is your relationship solely about getting married or about enjoying the other person?
For my fiance, who was afraid of marriage, I told him that I was going to wait 6 months (and marked on the diary in front of him) and if at the end of the six months he hadn't proposed then I was going to. Whatever his answer was then would decide what was going to happen to our relationship. It got to the six months, because he was still terribly afraid, and I didn't make a big deal, I simply asked him one morning when we woke up in each other's arms. We are getting married next year.
If you give them a time frame then it gives them enough time to start to work through whatever issues they have. If at the end of it they are still not interested, then you know he isn't the one you are meant to marry.
2007-01-25 16:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A marriage certificate doesn't guarantee commitment. I've seen too many Friends get married, and spend way too much on it, then get divorced a year or two later. I've also seen more people not get married and stay together forever. If you want commitment, find a committed guy, not a wedding.
2007-01-25 16:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by Big hands Big feet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Then propose! Girls CAN take the initiative in todays society. Make things happen. Wait no further! And like you say, if he's not willing to commit then dun waste your youth on him. Time to move on.
2007-01-25 16:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by Maximillian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may just want to wait a bit longer to make sure this is right for both of you. You can't rush life..it will happen when it happens
2007-01-25 17:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretend to give up, loose interest. If he loves you, he will be quick to ask. Sometimes a guy just needs a jolt to realize what he wants. If, on the other hand he lets you go, you will know where you stood anyway.
Good Luck with this.
2007-01-25 21:16:28 · answer #10 · answered by Bill I 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋