How do you show mercy or forgiveness to an enemy who has shown you nothing but pain and disrespect?

Question

Is there a limit to mercy and forgiveness? Can someone do something so bad that it can't be forgiven? If you were raped tomorrow or something equally as horrible, could you forgive that person? What are your views on this?

Answer 1

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. If you find you cannot, then you might as well start digging two graves. It is an everyday decision sometimes. Ask Christ. He went through a lot.

Answer 2

I personally think that mercy and morals aren't things that are 'born' into humans, rather I think they are things taught to us by society, and can fail under extreme trauma and/or stress, like being raped. I think that some people have a stronger ability to maintain these emotions than others.

The novel "The Lord of the Flies" has a lot to say about this. The boys arrive on the island with the compassion and mercy that society has taught them fully intact. But as they progress living away from civilization these emotions slowly deteriorate, and the boys fall back upon the basic instincts of self preservation, whatever the cost.

Of all things, the movie "SAW III" is a perfect example of what you're asking. One of the themes I got out of the movie was, "How far would you go to forgive those who have harmed you." If you have seen this movie you know exactly what I'm talking about, if not I suggest watching it, it will make you think.

Answer 3

A person must find it in his/her heart to forgive and show mercy on someone no matter how much pain they go through but as a person you can draw your line with this person. There is a limit to everything including forgiveness. Some things will never be forgiven because some people go around and say “I forgive you but I won’t forget. Forgive is “I give you what? I give you trust, understanding, forgetfulness because if you don’t forget you don’t forgive.” A person must know what their accepting or giving like giving a gift. I forgive you toward a healing or they might fall back to what they did in the first place.

Answer 4

I'm pretty sure it would be better to forgive than not to forgive in all cases, except one general situation. If you were still exposed to the person who did you harm, and they had not faced any consequences for it, you can't forgive them yet. That would be submission to something that doesn't deserve it.
That said, there's a lot of cases where you can't forgive someone, but even though they don't "deserve" your forgiveness, you deserve to have the, I'll sure the word "closure," that comes with forgiveness. Sometimes you have to work through the nine stages of grief first. I believe in those cases forgiveness comes after all kinds off stuff like anger and sadness. I never really believed in breaking it up into nine stages, but there is a kind of cascade of feelings after you've been wronged and if your lucky, forgiveness is the last of them.

Answer 5

I don't think there is any limit to forgiveness except when someone doesn't realize that what they have done was wrong (except they're a child, of course). For example, if a friend and I got into a fight and he/she ended up hitting me and maybe giving me a bloody nose I would be pretty pissed off. However, if they came up to me afterwards or even a week or two later and said they were sorry for what they did and they meant it then of course I would forgive. It is the people who aren't sorry that I cannot forgive. Those people are the bane of mankind.

Answer 6

I was raped and I did finally learn to forgive but it didn't happen overnight. And no I don't believe there is anything that is so bad that it can't be forgiven. Forgiveness for me was a long healing process. I learned to forgive, not for the sake of my torturer, but for my own. He could care less that I forgave him - but I needed to forgive to release the pain, anger, bitterness that was eating away at me like a cancer. When I released my right to feel the way I felt, then I started healing. I have no intention of being friends with this person but I no longer wish them harm either. I am at peace with myself and to me that is the point of forgiveness.

Answer 7

Why should you? Our entire society now - the 'move on' or 'get over it' people and every religion involves letting someone screw you - literally or figuratively. Who benefits? The perpetrators. So - your group gets taken over - oppressed, raped murdered by a bunch of humans who say – ‘move on, forgive, get along,’ and if you don’t you are 'bad' or 'unhealthy' The rapist/murderer etc. stays in power - system continues. Guilty blame the victim – others who are scared will blame the victim as well (see one of the earlier posts). Witness the birth of most major religions. That’s why in a secular society you are punished for what you do – regardless of how the victim ‘feels.’ If you kidnap and rape a child for 7 years they may grow to love/ trust you – like Patty Hearst. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fry.

Answer 8

Forgivness and mercy can be given to anyone who needs it. Because who ask for it has already realised his mistake and is in need of forgivness very much. If you dont give it than it is your turn to be bad and a real Enemy

Answer 9

Forgiving is an ideal thing to do and should be practiced as much as you can. Forgiveness and tolerance has been taught by many great philosophers but there are times in life when we must learn to live rather than follow idealisms. We have attachments such as family, friends, children, jobs, etc that are integral parts of our lives. These attachments always bind us and make it hard to show forgiveness in every situation in life. Sometimes things get too severe that you must make your own rules in life.

Answer 10

Well, to be fair, I think we would all end up there sooner or later. Especially if what is said under ones breath or behind the back of another, is accounted for. There are also times when what was done in error, was not done on purpose, but the end result was just the same. And there is a very fine line in the discrepancies of other situations as well. This is why we ask for discernment and why we are all judged, individually, by a higher power. :D

Answer 11

You become Christ-like and emulate Jesus.

ORRR.......you do what George W Bush did and start a war and threaten more war with anyone and everyone you dont happen to like, or whoever youre afraid of and hope that YOUR love, and YOUR forgiveness kills your enemy faster than your enemy might kill you.

If you succeed, you count yourself lucky and go back to Crawford, Texas to clear brush. If you fail, if you DONT succeed, then you blame others, declare Martial Law, suspend free elections, throw dissidents in concentration camps set up in Oklahoma and stay the course.