My mom and I are fighting over Money?

Question

The school scholarship is giving me 900 dollars. I want to put that money together with 150 dollars, I was saving so that I can get invisalign braces to fix my teeth. My mom says she needs the money to pay off some loans. It seems to me that my mom always needs money.

So, my mom said, "If you take that 900 dollars and don't give it to to me, just move out of my house because your not being fair if you say, I'll go to school and if they give me money, I'll take it." I don't know what to do? I have tried talking to her but she made up her decision.

Let me just add, the money for the books and the classes is taking care of. This scholarship is a left over money.

My mom works all day long, I thought that money was enough to pay the bills but I guess not.

Answer 1

this is a tough question and you havent revealed enough about you living situation and your relationship with your mother to give a full and fair answer...

but...i will try to be fair with a few assumptions...

i am guessing that the living condition is that you are living with your mom alone. no father in the scene. no other source of income except for your mother working.

now, IF you are living with your mom and NOT paying for any share of rent, utility bills, food, clothes etc... then it would seem fair to ME that you COULD help out with some of the bills if a little extra money happens to come along.

yes, it seems like your mother always needs money. she always needs money because she is paying the bills. bills will always be coming. it is a part of life.

remember, if you are over 18, she has no legal obligation to give you anything...because you are an adult. whatever she does for you after that magical number 18 years old...is a gift and it is because she loves you. no parent has to give anything to any kid after 18 years old...LEGALLY! take it as an incredibly loving gift that she is allowing you to stay with her as you go to school to keep expenses down on rent, food and utilities.

it sounds like her having you move out if you dont give her the money may be the result of frustration and the feeling that she is not appreciated. she seems to work really hard and is trying her best to keep her head (and yours) above water.

here's your first adult choice:

1 - keep the $900 and move out and stop mooching off your mother. see how far that $900 goes in the real world.

or

2 - give her the $900 as a gift with no strings attached. stay at home get a good education, get a good job and get your teeth fixed a little bit later. i know for a fact that invisalign will cost more than $1050. use the $900 'gift' more unselfishly and put it to a cooperative use. this will be your first step to being a responsible adult that contributes rather than consumes.

Answer 2

take the money and put it away in a bank account that she cant get ahold of. DOnt spend it either. You could say that they made a mistake and you actually dont get that money and not tell her the truth. Your mom has no right to talk to you like that. SHe is trying to make you feel guilty so you will give her the money. Asl her and say you want to knowexactly what the money is going to. Has your mother borrowed money from you before? if so say you will give her some if she pays back what she owes you. Dont let your mother bully you into giving her the money. Your mother could have a drug problem or a gambling problem. OR just tell her NO it is your money and is to be used for you and not pay off her bills. Fixing your teeth is pretty important

Answer 3

Mom is an adult and has made her own means or hasn't made ends meet. She has to learn to budget better. Are the loans she is thinking of paying off loans for you? If so then you pay the loans off.
If you can, work something out with the dentist so that you can give half down, get a part time job and pay the rest off in installments and give half to mom if it requires that you have a place to live.
If you don't need a place to live, have that worked out with living at the dorm, then I would not worry about what Mom needs, she has to figure that out. But remember when you need to borrow money, you can't ask mom as you didn't give it when she needed it.
I strongly suggest that she pays that money back to you as it is your grades and efforts that got the money in the first place.
If you give it to her, get it in writing that she owes it back and set up a payment plan.
Same if you were to borrow money from her...never trust friends or relatives. And if they are serious about returning the money they will gladly sign the papers.
The money is rightfully yours not your Mom's. There are grants out there that she can write for and get money.

Answer 4

Are the loans shes paying for you? Like a student loan or car loan?
Do you pay any bills? Do you have a job?
If she needs it to pay expenses that you contribute to, you shouldnt complain. And if you only go to school and dont contribute to the household, you should willingly give the money without a complaint.
Otherwise take the $900 and move.

Answer 5

OH dear what a predicament, I am a mum and a grandmother angel, ok first of all congratulations on your scholarship, your mother should be proud of you, you have worked hard for your achievement and it is a good lesson, as it shows you that hard work brings its rewards. let me ask you this what would have happened if you hadn't won the scholarship? mum would still have to pay off her loans, and technically she was responsible for paying for your teeth to fixed when you were younger,the money should be spent on what it was meant for, your education there are more expenses with education that tuition and books, so I suggest that both you and your mum look further down the road of your career as I think you are both a little short sighted when it comes to this money problem,Oh and by the way I don't believe that your mum will kick you out I think that she loves you very much but she thinks that the money will help take some of the pressure off of her at the moment but remember it is mums problem and not yours. hope this helps!

Answer 6

Hmmm..you do have to be a little bit more considerate...

Do you help pay off bills at your house? or pay rent or help with the mortgage?

If yes, then you are entitled to that money..but if not...you should have a talk with your mother and compromise or maybe she does need to necessitates like keeping a roof over your head and food on the table. You should really put yourself in her shoes first before you decide what to do with the $900.

Answer 7

You're forgetting number 5.
"Honor thy father and thy mother."

Doesn't seem that she's lying either, if she has to pay off some loans, and when she finally has the opportunity, and you won't let her, then it might actually get as worse as you, moving out.
I say give her the money, or at least a porportion.
I been through this before >_<
except it was $6,000.

Answer 8

What about using the money for your education? Forget the braces, forget the loans your mom says she needs to pay off. It sounds like when we see or get a whiff of money we go into a violent stupid attack.

Answer 9

How old are you? I think you and your mom need to come to some common ground and you a probably both wrong. How about using that scholarship money for school and books. Mom myight want it because you are not using it for education anyway. It is yours and you shouldn't be paying your mom's bills if you are a minor.

Answer 10

No offense, but she sounds like she's gambling with that money.

I can't answer that question for you, it's your choice, not ours. Think about it, which is more important, a mom which needs the money for bills to pay even if you don't know WHAT bills they are? Or to pursue your career and all that hard work you acheived in school to get that money?

Tough decision, which is why you yourself have to answer it.