My husbands 16 year old son is about to become a father.There are alot of problems,not only b/c of his age.The girl is 15.She had another child at age 13. The fathers parents has custody.She is in juvenile custody for running away and doing drugs,(yes while preg.).She is in rehab right now.She says her step brother raped her and that her home life is bad.I was wondering if we should fight for custody of the child? My step son supposibly lives with his mom,but is never home.Lives with friends etc.Got caught stealing vodka from walmart,admits to drugs and alcohol.I am deeply concerened.His mom does drugs with him and has beeen in trouble with CPS alot.What should we do?
2007-01-25 14:46:07 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
2 months ago I wrote about his misbehavior and got the rocks thrown at me.Nobody believed his behavior,and thought I was in the wrong.WELL HERE WE ARE a 16 and 15 having a baby. SO think before you blame others.
2007-01-25 14:48:23 · update #1
Obviously the girls mom would not be fit to have custody if she can't prevent her own daughter from being raped by her step-son.
2007-01-25 14:50:44 · update #2
I really do not want to take this child completely away from his/her parents.The girl did not go to rehab of her own choosing,the juvenile office put her there.My step son lived with us until May of 2006.He became aggressive so that he could go back and live with his mom,b/c he knows she won't even try to discipline him.We took the police to get him in Novemeber b/c he lived 70 miles away and mom said she couldn't handle him.The officers took him to his moms and she of course gave in to him,so the police said legally there was nothing my husband could do.We begged the ex to send him to rehab or a behavioral hosp. but she again refuse.The aggression got so bad when he lived with us that he actually drew a knife on the school on 2 2nd grade boys for calling him by his real first name.We did send him to a behavioral hosp,and when he got out he physically attacked his dad.
2007-01-27 15:46:57 · update #3
you should divorce ur husband in california and get 1/2 of his money
2007-01-25 15:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by OwNaGeR 3 · 0⤊ 6⤋
If you are sure your husband cheats on you, and the age of consent is 16 where you live, then I'd say go for it. But, how would your husband react if he finds out? Even if he cheats on you, he might not think the same about it coming from your end, and could possibly kill the both of you. Or, tell him you know about him cheating, and you would like to date a younger guy. If he can't handle that then get a divorce and take half his stuff. Why are you still with your piece of crap husband? You typed the question and it looks to me like you are educated. If he did rape a 13 year old, you need to report it to the police, get a lawyer and divorce him. You still know the difference between right and wrong, and it is wrong for you to stay with him. If I was you I would pack up everything you want, drain the bank account, and get an apartment and find a job. There are lots of jobs where you don't need anymore education than to be able to read or write, and sometimes that isn't even necessary. Get the hell away from him, and if your kids are so messed up because of him, let them live with him. If you have always been a good mom, they will still be in your life.
2016-03-29 02:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, take a deep breathe. This is a really bad situation. But your right about the girl's mother. But since the igrl is in rehab i think you should give her a chance. This might sound crazy but i think you should let the girl come live with you. Her mother obviously shouldn't be around her while shes pregnant and the step son could try and rape her again and possibly give her a disease or something. And if they live together they would have equal responsibilty and wouldn't have time to party or even want to. At least if she comes to live with you there is a really big chance they will become responsible and take care of this child if you don't take it away. You could save their futures. Shes already showing that she cares about this baby by doing rehab and all and i know from experience that it saved mine and my boyfriends lives when i got pregnant at 14. We stopped partying cause we wanted to be there for our baby. I STRONGLY advise you not to take it away. She hasn't had very good guidance from her mother and if you can help her you can help your husband's son too. Discuss it with your husband and evrybody and see how they all feel. I hope it works out.
2007-01-25 16:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many moving parts to your question it's difficult to know where to start.
I would suggest that first of all, what's most important is your relationship with your husband. Put your marriage first - practically speaking, that means that both of you have to be 100% on board with whatever you decide, b/c any choice (including choosing not to get involved) is going to have pain and regrets.
That being said, are the two of you in a place of being able to raise a newborn? B/c it sounds to me like your 16yo stepson is not mature and grounded enough to be trusted as a primary caregiver, which means if you fight for custody and are granted it, you'll be pretty much raising the child as parents until your stepson grows up (if he ever does).
A lot of the other variables (the baby's mother, her story, possible abuse, etc.) aren't really your concern to confirm or deride, to figure out what's true or not, etc.
I would concentrate on whether you and your husband want to raise this child, and are committed to doing whatever is necessary (which may eventually be keeping BOTH the mother and father away from this infant!) to give this baby the best possible chance to grow up as a healthy, happy young child...and a stable, balanced adult.
Difficult choices, I really feel for you and applaud your compassion.
Best to you and your husband.
2007-01-25 15:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am so happy that I didn't have this bridge to cross.
I am trying to put myself in your shoes and realizing that they are way too big for me I would have to ask myself if I don't raise this kid right or I make a big mistake with this kiddo will my husbands son be hateful and resentful to us and think that his father treated his son better than he treated him. What other family issues could arrise.
I also have a cousin who adopted her daughters 2 children and it is working out wonderfully. But she gives the daughter opportunities to voice her pleasure or displeasure in the way the kiddos are being raised. I think that would take a great relationship to start with.
I think if you and your husband are secure enough in your relationship and you can provide a solid living environment, don't let this kiddo end up in the system. Get with the agency in your area that provides services for adoptive parents, complete the course and see what a lawyer advises and go for it. I'm all for a kiddo being with the family and not with strangers. Unless of course that the parents can't see eye to eye and the mother wants to adopt outside the unit then I think it's the best decision.
Good luck...I wish you and yours all the best! Enjoy the kiddo!
2007-01-25 21:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by teddybearloverus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEFINITELY get custody of this baby, you could give it the life it deserves since its "parents" can't. I myself have been in some tough times having been a victim of rape and then getting pregnant from a jerk at the age of 21 and was going to be a single mom. If I can turn my life around then I know others can, but until those parents do, that unborn baby deserves to have a good stable enviroment! Good luck hun!
2007-01-25 15:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by charlene8301@sbcglobal.net 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I f you and your husband are capaple of caring and loving the child like it will be your own, then you should, the child's mother seems not fit to be a good mother and with all thou respesct neither seems your son(stepson) I think you and your husband should talk about it, but remember that if that unborn child was exposed to drugs there might be health problems with the new baby. Best of luck!!!!
2007-01-25 15:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get your battle gear on and fight for custody. This baby is going to have it rough being born to such young irresponsible parents. Especially if the mom admitted to doing drugs.
If you get involved in family court now you can probably get custody of the baby immediately after birth. That will definately be best for the baby.
2007-01-25 15:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
If you want to see if you can adopt the baby then go for it. At least then the child will grow up in a stable home. Im sure you would rather adopt it then have it go into foster homes and with strangers. See what your husband thinks and talk it out with him. Good luck!
2007-01-25 15:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by angel01182 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No offense but in your situation I wouldn't judge. You didn't want the son around before because he was too much trouble but you'll take his baby. Your marriage seems a bit rocky based on your prior questions. Not to mention you've stated that you've been on medication for some psychological problems. I'm not so sure the child should be in your home either. Sounds like your hands are full.
2007-01-25 15:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by angelbabydoll82 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Husband's family business?
2017-02-28 15:32:58 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋