My mother died recently. I love and miss her very much. It's hard for me to cry. Should I be concerned.?

Question

My mother has a very long painful illness. Everyone else cried like crazy at the viewing and the service. All I have is a big empty space in me like a vital organ is gone and a deep sadness. And sometime I just feel relief that she is no longer suffering. Am I not grieving as I should .

Answer 1

I believe that you are grieving. It comes in different levels. Next week you may not feel the same as this week. I was kind of like you after my Father died suddenly. It was like a calm before the storm because soon I had so many overwhelming feelings. But the best thing I can tell you is that time heals everything. You will always have the feeling that a vital organ has been removed from your body, but the good thing about it is- your body knows how to heal itself if you let it. One day you will function peacefully in knowing that your Mother is in a much better place. And the best thing you can do for yourself, your family and friends. and your Mother is to never, never let her legacy be forgotten.

Answer 2

First,I am sorry for your loss.People all grieve differently,and you might not ever cry. Don't worry about what other people think,or how people think YOU should grieve. You've suffered a huge loss,and you're most likely in shock right now. If you need anyone to talk to,please email me. It sometimes helps to talk to someone who's not related to you about things. Just remember the good times

Answer 3

Go out and but the latest issue of Newsweek. There is an aritcle written by a woman whose husband died and she never felt sad--more of a relief. It goes on to say it is normal to feel relieved after a loved one dies that suffered. Everyone grieves differently, there is no right way. It's a great article, read it, it may help.

Answer 4

The reason that your not crying like you think you should is probably because you feel relieved that your mom is no longer suffering. Don't feel guilty about the way you feel. Some people think that if someone dies and you don't cry then you just don't care. We all grieve but in different ways. I sure am sorry about you mother. I lost my moher in 2004 and I am still dealing with it.I am grateful that my mom didn't suffer.

Answer 5

I think you should take it as it comes and not have to be a certain way. I loved my dad and was close to him, but my mom and I did not grieve like some did because we were complete in our relationship with him. We had said everything there was to say and had no regrets. Yes we miss him, but we did not leave I love you's unsaid.

When you feel like crying, you should. If you don't, you should just feel whatever is there and not try to fix or change it.

Answer 6

Kjj, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Now you are not grieving as you should? Dear there is no particular way to grieve. It is ok not to cry. If it makes you feel better, when my grandpa died ( i was closer to him than anybody) i didn't shed a single tear. That you have a big empty space in you, is you crying, feeling the pain from inside. And it is ok to feel relief that she is no longer suffering. You are feeling this relief for her, and not for yourself. As much as it is ok to cry, it is also ok NOT to cry. One day when you are alone you might shed tears. And that is fine too. Again i am sorry for your loss, and i will pray for her soul...GuruBhai.

Answer 7

Hi, I too am sorry for your loss. I can relate where you are. I have sad days and good days where I remember the good times with my mother. I lost my mother 2 years ago and sometimes it seems like yesterday. I know I did all I could while she lived and yes, she is out of her misery. Feelings come and go. Everyone is different. So just feel the feelings. They are neither right nor wrong. Do what you feel! You are in my prayers.

Answer 8

you are griefing as you should, for i believe you already have........in this i mean, you had to watch her die with this illness, and i mean no disrespect here....i had an aunt that died, she also had an illness that gave her pain and she spent a lot of time in the hospital, yet when she went, i felt relief, just knowing she did not have to suffer, and yet i did not really cry, i mourned, in time this feeling did go, and eventually i did cry....for her life was so much part of me, and i loved her, as you did your mother. just being able to remeber the good in her life will make your day go by a little better. you will be ok, it will just take time.

Answer 9

I'm very sorry for your loss. It's okay if you don't cry. It doesn't mean you're not grieving. Maybe you just have other ways of expressing your emotions. Like for instance, some people don't cry, they write their feelings down, or play them through music, or arts. Everybody expresses feelings differently. I would only suggest not bottling any feelings up, because that will only hurt you.

Answer 10

Some people grieve differently. There comes a time when you can't find yourself to cry but later on down the line you will let it all out. Just give yourself some time.