my neighbor told me that she loves me. She said that her marriage hasn't been a marriage for many years and said that they both acknowledge that it's pretty much over and I think they're working toward a divorce.
Me - I'm a very eligible bachelor. I like this woman and I think that her husband is a very lucky guy. Unfortunately, he doesn't know it.
I would never do or say anything that would impact their marriage in one way or another, but I want to continue to be their friend and neighbor. The have always treated me like family since I met them, and I want to keep it that way.
HOWEVER... I do have feelings for this woman equally. I know that I can't show them and I know that I cant foster her feelings, but what can I say to keep this in perspective for her? I've been ignoring it so-to-speak, but at some point I need to talk to her about it What do I say????
2007-01-25 14:29:37 · 15 answers · asked by slink H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The neighbor can feel or say whatever she pleases, but until she's divorced, she's just another lying, cheating "desperate housewife". Stop hanging out with them. You can't be friends in this situation.
2007-01-25 14:54:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for not wanting to play a part in ruining a marriage!
You say THEY have treated you like family and you want to continue to be THEIR friend. If you truly want to be his friend, then you have to keep your distance from his wife. They are still married and any contact you have with her will only encourage her affections - affections that may not be genuine.
If you have to talk to her, tell her that both her and her husband have been good friends to you and that you cannot, in good conscience, betray his friendship by reciprocating any feelings she might have for you. And let that be the end of it! You cannot tell her you have feelings in return because to do so WOULD have an impact on their marriage (you say you don't want to do this).
If this marriage is to end, it needs to end on its own, without any involvement on your part. Do you think she would still end it on her own even if she didn't have you or some other man to turn to? If you do pursue a relationship with this woman, how do you think her husband will feel about you when he finds out? He's trusted you and treated you like family. Do you really want to be in the middle of all this?
2007-01-25 15:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her how you feel...it'll make her pine and fantasize and flirt even more. Keep it in check...I like the ten foot pole idea, only socialize if Mr. Neighbor is with her. In time she will make up her mind about her relationship and her feelings without the extra spark from your side of the fence. You sound like a good guy. If she really has a thing for you, it'll keep until she is divorced.
2007-01-25 14:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by ladystardonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell her what you just told us. you feel like family and you want to be both of their friends. you do have feelings for this woman, but you don't think it would work between you two. you can tell her all of those things and still make her feel special at the same time. try to make her understand where you are coming from and give her a reason why you can't take the friendship even futher. you got a good head on your shoulders and i think she would respect that more than anything
2007-01-25 14:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T talk to her about it...any conversation you have could degenerate into something out of your control...if you have feelings and you do not wish to impact their marriage AS YOU SAY you do, then stay away from her with a 10 foot pole, unless you are with both together.
2007-01-25 14:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think personally she needs to go out to a club or something and you need to ignore her for a while. until the divorce is final it is not over. have some respect for yourself. if he is a friend then consider his feelings. she may be a better person for you and it may work but its not over for them and its not right to begin for you until she makes a move. for good.
tell her this and then tell her if she is serious then she should be grown up enough to do what she has to do and if your avaliable youll see from there. don't mess up and tell her you feel same way. do it this way or you'll get hurt
2007-01-25 15:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by ktdid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not be too eligible, if you are looking at your neighbor....DUDE, you are asking for a world of hurt if you get involved with that dumb broad....plus the dude might want to beat you up...avoid her...she obviously has very poor decision making skills
2007-01-25 14:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by gary d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember this:
if she leaves her husband do to problems, will she do the same if you have problems.
Yellow light is flashing on the road way. If I was in your shoes, I would be very uneasy. Burned in the past in this situation.
2007-01-25 14:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by n9wff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they both agree it's over than let her know how you feel and see what she has to say from there you cant go wrong by expressing your feelings and you will never know other wise
2007-01-25 14:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by hotbunnydoll 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
pretend like you dont hear it, suggest she work it out with her husband... you want her to be happy right? well she has to figure these things out for herself, if you convince her to do something, she may change her mind and end up resenting you
2007-01-25 14:42:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋