What do I do when my husband don't want to talk about anything.?

Question

He says it may be from his childhood. It bothers me because sometimes I would just like to have a conversation like most marriages do. He is older than me.He has been like this since we married.

Answer 1

Try finding somthing that you have in common. Talk about that.
Better yet figure out what type of communicator he is. Three catagories; auditory, visual, and kinesthetic
auditory, likes to talk
visual, responds well to images such as tvs or movies
kinesthetic, responds well to touch, likes to play with the tv's in the store.

Figure out what you are and what he is and adapt so that the conversations intrigue both of you.

Also, try asking him open ended questions.
An example: Tell me about your day today.
Avoid closed ended questions.
An expample: Did you have a good day?
you only will get a yes or no answer making it dificult to start a converstaion.

Answer 2

Some men are not good at opening up and having a conversation. Try writing a letter to him and have him respond back with a letter. Give him a time frame. Tell him afterwards that you would like to discuss it. Thank him for his letter and tell him that you appreciated what he had to say in it. Always be positive when trying to get someone to talk. Any negativity will only shut the person down. Don't use words like "YOU always", or blameful words such as "It is your fault" or "If you only". There is a way of communicating and sometimes it takes a marriage counselor to intervene. If the letter doesn't work, then I would suggest trying to talk him into going to a marriage counselor to learn on how to communicate and talk to each other.

Answer 3

Lot at his interests. Not interests that you think he has but really look at what his interests are. What does he really like, what makes him talk like a kid with other people that have the same interests.

I may sound weird but he has to get use to talking with you, and the only way to do it is get to know about the things he is interested in.

DO YOUR RESEARCH and don't jump into the subjects until you know the stuff.

I am going to pick something odd so I can give an example and not be about the subject but the process of researching it.

If he is interested in FLY FISHING.

First go to EBAY and type in Fly Fishing and see what comes up. This will give you TERMS and ITEMS that you can then look up on GOOGLE.

Terms that came up on ebay were : Fly Tying, Fly Fishing Reels, Fly Rods.

You need to know the TERMS to know you subject to know what to research.

Now do Google searches for FLY FISHING, FLY TYING, FLY RODS, etc.

Read about the subjects. As you learn more then read more on the new subjects about Fly Fishing that you learn. Check to see if there is any NEW news or products about the Subject. See if there are any Trade Shows in Vegas or whatever.

ONCE YOU KNOW HIS SUBJECT you can look for a good time to bring it up.

Lets say you found out there is a Trade Show in Vegas that is just about Fly Fishing Equipment. You can say you saw an article on the online news about a Fly Fishing Trade Show.

You then say, I was wondering what it was all about, and I didn't realize there was so many things dealing just with Fly Fishing, but there is a lot of new technology about Fly Fishing.

Then just go with the conversation.

Have Fun !

Answer 4

Well if he's been this way since you've been married, this is a helluva time to try to encourage change.

When you say he won't talk about "anything" that is kind of global. He must have interests in some area. On what things and experiences do your interests coincide? For example: If it is movies, see one together. Go out for a nice dinner afterwards and talk about it for starters. Ask him what he would like to do in the future ... vacations, short day trips, etc.

Be frank with him that you would like to have conversations like other couples. Other than these suggestions I don't know what else you could do.

Answer 5

If he already mentioned to you that 'it may be from his childhood', then you need to believe him. He is having a problem trying to share them with you. If you knew he was like this before getting married, you should have considered not marrying him, because now, it is a problem in your marriage. You may want to talk to him about getting some counseling for himself. You just need to support him and help him to share his thoughts with you. Just be patience with him.

I would consider on him reading a book called, "Bad Childhood, Good Life" and for both of you, "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".

Answer 6

I spent 24 years with a husband who would not discuss any issue that might involve emotions. It was a long, very lonely marriage. You can't make him talk. It may be from his childhood but his childhood is OVER and he's an ADULT now. If he won't go to counseling (and I'll bet he won't) it's up to you whether you want to be in an emotionally dead relationship.

Answer 7

If he says its from his childhood than maybe he ought to get some counseling so he can over come that big problem cause with no communication in a marriage is not good....take care

Answer 8

Talk with him and tell him how you feel. It sounds like he has communication issues, because I believe the key to a happy marriage is keeping the lines of communication open.

Answer 9

You both should go talk to a counselor before this grows any further. Communication is the biggest part of marriage.

Answer 10

theres nothing really you can do besides tell him how you feel about it. you cant make him talk against his own will. i know the feeling, i'm going through the same thing. he wants to talk when he wants to but not when something is on my mind. thats something hard to deal with. esp when you have no one else to talk to. everyone need a listening ear to hear them out and you would figure your husband would be that long-term set of ears you will never be in need of again...funny...
good luck