is it cheating when you are married and your spouse has fallen in love with someone that has instant message him for the last 7month.
2007-01-25 13:40:43 · 63 answers · asked by tlc1969 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's not in love, he is in heat. He is cheating, of course, because he is not "forsaking all others", but that is beside the point. He needs to have someone let him know that it is not ok to be in two relationships. Either a counselor, you, or someone else who he respects. Nothing will make him change, as you know; it has to come from him, and right now, he is getting what he wants from her. Except sex, possible, which, after she turns him on, he comes to you. Get back into the marriage with him, by being assertive, setting boundaries, and if need be, get yourself into counseling. If you had to ask if this is cheating, I would think maybe you are a bit passive, not wanting to make waves. But you are the one who will lose out, if you don't fight for what you want. (Not that he is worth having, in my book, but I don't count).
Is he worth the fight? Is he older than 21 (he is immature, regardless of age, but some men need longer to grow up)? Are there children involved? Do you have a plan of letting him go if this continues?
Bottom line, yes, it is cheating, yes, he will do it again if he doesn't care about hurting you now, and yes, he is needing some emotional care beyond what he feels he is getting now. (his problem not yours, since he doesn't talk to you about it.).
A lot of people play this game, called "the grass is greener." Don't let him play the game in your home, on your computer. Good luck.....
2007-01-25 14:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet he's cheating!
How/why would he fall in love with someone he's never met? Has he been open with you regarding his messaging? Are you sure it's ONLY been messaging? Start checking your phone bills for strange phone numbers. Be wary of a sudden increase in business trips or trips with the guys.
I speak from personal experience here. My spouse of 32 years did the same thing. It seemed to start out innocently enough ... he even told me about her. Now they're married.
Good luck!
2007-01-25 14:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by CuriousL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if the spouse has fallen for another and also communicating (especially instant messaging) with her, then that's definitely cheating...
2007-01-25 13:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by Hideaki Takizawa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did your spouse say they were in love or are you assuming it? Allot of people instant message and it is innocent. If your spouse plans to meet this person and cheat yes, it is cheating if not work through it if you love each other.
2007-01-25 13:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by chemky1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. There are two kinds of love's. The love that you share face to face, which is physical. Then there is the emotional love...which is what your spouse has with the instant message lover.
2007-01-25 13:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Weasel Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No/Yes. See you can "fall in love" with someone on the internet but really never see the person. But after 7 months and you just figured that out, totally get rid of him/her. They are not the right person for you if they are cheating on you with a boy/girl on the internet who they are never going to see.
2007-01-25 13:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by bubblez963 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I am inclined to say "Yes" I am also inclined to ask, what would make him think he was "in love" with someone he hasn't met. I find it a bit laughable, considering the person he has been messaging COULD be a 250 6'2" hairy chested/armed/back man waiting for some woman's unsuspecting "hubby" to get involved in messaging enough to ruin is marriage.
2007-01-25 13:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Falling in love is emotional cheating, b/c its taking all the feelings that your spouse has and giving it away to someone else...it not physical cheating yet...but once they decide to meet...it will be ........... Hope everything works out for the best!
2007-01-25 13:50:29 · answer #8 · answered by luvaly_girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-01-25 14:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-01-25 14:00:26 · answer #10 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋