I am sure there is no golden rule and answer to this question...yet am curious about others experiences have been with diving back into the dating world after a recent (very recent!) divorce. Also, if kids involved from the marriage...how did you handle that aspect and all that comes along with that?
2007-01-25 13:31:50 · 22 answers · asked by chick33 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If no kids, doesn't matter.
If you have kids, it matters a lot. First of all, you need time for yourself and the kids to heal and adjust. Therapy is good. You need to find out what exactly went wrong in the marriage and make sure you are "over" him, etc. That is a huge step, and can take a year or so.
The biggest thing is not to have a string of men parading through your kids lives. If you are looking to seriously get married again, only introduce them to the guy when you are like on the brink of getting engaged, then they can get to know him. Otherwise, they may come to look upon him as something other than he really is. You really have to be careful.
You have to be strong and sacrifice a lot for your kids at any time, but your social life definitely has to take a back seat now. Enjoy and love your kids, and I hope you are getting lots of family support.
2007-01-25 13:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every situation is different. Depends if you wanted the divorce or he did. It depends on how long the relationship was disfunctional before the actual divorce happened. But a good rule of thumb is wait til the divorce is final, it will help the new relationship to get off on a clean start. A divorce can be stressful and very emotional, a new relationship is not a place for that stress or emotion, if you need someone to talk to call a girlfriend, mom, sister or pastor. Also if children are involved they need time to heal, they go through the same emotions and stress, but no one realize it because they are children. If you want your children to except the new relationship give them time as well.
2016-05-24 00:18:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think no sooner than two years because it will take that long to figure out who you really are after a divorce.Your way of thinking and your attitude will change after a divorce so I think that most people should wait and get to know yourself again.If you start dating to soon you will probably carry some emotional baggage into the new relationship that will be an obstacle rather than a asset. Also if there are kids involved you should wait longer because they need time to adjust to the changes plus you want to set good examples in front of them.You wouldn't want the kids seeing you bring a new partner into their life to often or to soon.
2007-01-25 14:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say a few months to 1-year pending how long the marriage was over some people marriage were over after they said i do , some get married just to say they did it , so I would think hey go for it 3 months if you were unhappy in the marriage but if you were STOLl in love then wait a year or so let your wounds heal then move on cause dating to soon would cause more harm to you knowing your stil in love with the X, an your trying to convince yourself that your not then take it out on your New Stud. Be careful be safe be HAPPY> Love hard. earn or gain your respect from the one your looking for
2007-01-25 13:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by michellegprix99@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you have to feel comfortable with yourself first. You have to resolve any issues that were leftover from the divorce. You may have wanted out of the marriage, but, you may still have baggage to deal with. When kids are involved, it makes it even harder. Give yourself a lot of time and space. Learn about you, what you like and what you want out of life. Don't rush in to anything. Don't find someone on the rebound.
2007-01-25 13:45:12 · answer #5 · answered by lucy7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can date as soon as you ready, it means for some people it will take a while, for others as soon as they are free they start dating. When their is children involved this will be though to just move on. Try to balance everything that' s is what I'm going to do if I were on that position because that is what exactly I did.
2007-01-25 13:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by linda c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to take a parenting class as part of the divorce and they said to wait at least 1 year. I waited about 6 months before dating.
2007-01-25 14:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been divorced for a year, and still am not dating yet. I guess I will know when I am ready. I finally got rid of one woman, so I am in no real big hurry to be involved with another one.
Like you said, there is no real timeframe. I think one day you will wake up and want to meet someone. When it happens, you will know. I guess I have not reached that point yet.
2007-01-25 13:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I waited about 4 months. I felt I was ready to try again, w/o bringing my baggage along f/ my marriage. And I never involved my children until I knew it was serious. I dated two guys after my divorce and I married the second one. ;)
2007-01-25 13:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not exact timeline to this but take your time and do not rush it as you dont want to date on the rebound and bring past baggage and problems into a new relationship. Follow your heart and take your time... I think a good time frame is at least a year afterwards before you even start thinking of dating again. Kids need time too before seeing mom or dad dating again. They need to adjust as well.
2007-01-25 13:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋