Why doesn’t love feel as strong as it once did when I was young?

Question

At age 34, I only love my wife because she feeds me and lets me sleep in her bed.

Answer 1

When you first marry, there is lust and passion, as the years go by the lust and passion turns to a deeper love. Many couples end up in divorce, because they want the lust and passion to continue, so they go out seeking the lust and passion over and over. And after they tire of this, they stop and think of what a good thing they had the fiirst time around, by then it is to late to go back.What you are going through is only normal. Try dating your wife all over again, take her out dining and dancing etc. Maybe a romantic weekend somewhere!

Answer 2

A lot of couples mistakenly think that first "in love" feeling they had at the beginning of the relationship will last throughout the marriage. It won't! In that stage of the relationship, everything is new, you're both making new discoveries about each other, you're both trying your best to hide your flaws.

Once you've lived together for a while, you both settle into who you truly are without concealing as much. The good new is that the "in love" feeling should develop into something deeper. It should develop into a love that is comfortable, secure, and one that endures through the trials of life and despite the other's flaws.

That doesn't mean marriage has to be boring! If you're bored with it, then you're probably boring! Your wife may feel the same way you do. Good marriages don't just happen on their own. Good marriages happen when both partners make an effort. You get out as much as you put in. So, if you're feeling bored, talk to your spouse about ways you can spice things up!

Some suggestions are 1) 52 Weeks of Romance Kit and 2) the book, "The Five Love Languages." The romance kit contains scratch off cards in a drawstring pouch. You rotate weeks drawing a card and acting out whatever's on it. The love languages book is really good at helping you express your love in ways that are uniquely meaningful to your spouse. It's an easy read with a questionaire in the back. Here are the links:

http://www.amazon.com/52-Weeks-of-Romance-Kit/dp/B000L7VPNS/sr=8-1/qid=1169785376/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-3511958-1075863?ie=UTF8&s=apparel

http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/1881273156/ref=s9_asin_image_1/103-3511958-1075863

Answer 3

I think it might be time to reconnect with your wife. What made you crazy for her in the beginning that made you want to spend the rest of your life with her? What is special about her in comparison to other women?
You should plan a special day and night for the two of you, Im not sure if you have children or your financial status. But maybe take a short getaway to a bed and breakfast type place. Or Something simple like going out to dinner at a restaurant you went to years ago that has special meaning and then a movie. Send the kids away to family's for the night and buy her a special outfit for the bedroom.
Have you shown her lately you appreciate her cooking? Maybe you can even stay in and you prepare a special meal. If you make extra steps towards rekindling what you had, she will love it and make extra steps also.
You are still young and have time to get that passion back!
Good luck!

Answer 4

i wonder about why life gets worse im 58 and i been threw storms in my life bad marrige and death in my family i hope it gets better what years i may have left you should love your wife more than just sex and food and hell 34 is young wait till your my age then you will feel old i do

Answer 5

My wife calls the bedroom "her room," and that's "her bed."
It was action when you were young,
It is reaction when you get older.
Jeff Foxworthy said it once...
when you're young and married, choosing between sleep and sex, you choose sex every time.
when you're old and with kids, you choose sleep and hope you have a dream about sex.
Truth in that.