Iet me explain a few things?

Question

I asked for advice about my mother and chose not disclose a few things but i feel it may be easier to advice me if i do. My exboyfriend, also my childs father, was very bad to me he beat me for 2 yrs. DSS or child protective services got involved. I only have my child a few hours a day and every other weekend. I love the park suggestions but because of the situation me and my daughter have to be supervised. I cant move until custody is granted back to me and that will happen in approximatly 3 monthes. But i do a appreciate the advice given so far and i hope this helps to explain a little bit. Oh yea my mom did not raise me my father did so i dont know about her parenting skills. Thanx loads

Answer 1

After going back to original question for more info here's my advice.

If you aren't already (though given your involvement with DSS I think you probably have) get some good counseling so that you won't allow yourself to be in a relationship like that again.

Get someone other than your mother to be your visitation supervisor (perhaps your father).

Talk to your mother about what behavior is upsetting you at a neutral time when your child is not around.
*"Mom, there are some things that I've been meaning to talk to you about, and I feel that it may be a sensitive subject for us. I love the way that you interact with _______ when you do _______, but when you do _________ it makes me feel that you're not respecting that I am the parent. I would never want us to have a situation in which you would be unable to be involved in _______'s life because I think you have a lot of really positive things to offer like ________. If you would like to give me guidance on those areas in which you think I may be lacking I would be willing to hear you out, however I want you to ultimately respect that I am the mother and my rules will be the rules for my child."

Stay calm and don't let the situation escalate. Learning that skill will also help you when you do have your child returned are go to live on your own.

Some book suggestions if I may: Dr. Laura's "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" and "Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids"

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Have you tried discussing how you feel with your mom. If yes and she's still doing this, try and deal with it until you are granted custody. If she's being way to over bearing and treating you as though your unfit or don't take care of your child properly try to see it from her perspective. Maybe she's just trying to be a good grandma or trying to make up for her not raising you herself. Since you didn't disclose why your father raised you and she didn't I can't really get a good reading on your predicament. Of course there are those people that only think they can do anything right themselves. So it's a win or lose situation. Maybe you can learn from her. Don't take it personally. Did the court grant your mom temporary custody, sounds like it did. Than maybe you need to swallow your pride and be glad that you have someone who is willing to take care of your baby and let you live with her as well.

Answer 3

way to go heather Y..... nice suggestion! there's a book by zig ziglar that may help..... raising positive kids in a negative world.