I'm I being Paranoid or ?

Question

ok so I have been with my boyfriend for one year. In his past he had one real girlfriend that he loved very much but they broke up because they lived far away from eachother and she found another guy, well he was heartbroken and moved on and like 2 yrs passed (in those 2 yrs he never talked to another girl, until he met me) and he met me and fell in love all over again, even though she left him he still talked good about her and says she is a good person. She recently broke up with her man and now she's trying to locate my bf and see how my bf is doing, she also found out we are getting married and she cried I found out by one of his cousins but I can tell he felt sorry for her, so my question is since she left him and he had no choice but to forget about her would he still like her? or I'm I just being paranoid becuase she trying to be in the picture again, I mean she has a kid already and she's trying to talk to him how stupid is that!

Answer 1

okay first things first....YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED! if she wants to find him and kick it with him...chillax, nothing will happen, he moved on to you, and yeah, it maybe true that he still thinks of her as a good person, but now their relationship can only stay platonic...nothing more, so you can choose to hate her, or love her or whatever, but that wont change the fact that he loves you, or else you wouldnt be getting married...
or...
***** SLAP HER ***!!!!
haha, but seriously, just be cool,
GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

actually the kid adds another dimension to it. you may want to find out if he is into kids because if he is there is a good chance he may consider it for that reason alone. obviously she is more mature in her life now than she was then, and she feels as though she'd like to experience a relationship with him again now. she misses the relationship, or the idea of what they used to have. two years is long enough to get over someone, but not to the extent that you won't get back with them if the opportunity presents itself and quite honestly, if they ever hooked up before that chance always exists, regardless of whatever happens between you and him. he could be a good guy and perhaps she wants someone to be there for the kid; I'd question her motives. other than that there isn't much you can do to keep them apart.

Answer 3

I can tell that you are both very young. His ex-girlfriend cannot have her cake and eat it too. She made a choice,and your bf was not the choice. If he is smart, he will keep the past in the past, and continue with his new love(you). If you become paranoid, you might drive a wedge between you and him, with the nagging. My advice to you is keep your cool. Remember she can't take him away if he loves you, and if he leaves you for her, then he isn't worth the time of day, and consider yourself lucky for not marrying him. Good luck!!
Gmomma

Answer 4

It sounds like there was no closure between the two. It's a bit risky for you, because if they see each other it could go two ways until you get married. They could realize they still love each other and circumstances kept them from being together (it may rekindle their flame) or they could realize they've outgrown each other and moved on (hopefully reaching closure).
As for the girl with a child, it sounds like she is not emotionally attached to her former bf and she could be searching attachment with YOUR bf. With a child to take care of, she may be looking for a father figure in your bf...

Be careful. If you get married and there is no closure, that door will always be open and the only thing holding him back is his commitment to you. If there is an opportunity for closure, you should be in the clear for the rest of your marriage.

Answer 5

Arg, I feel your annoyance with this girl. It would bother me deep down, too, even though I wouldn't show it.

I think all you can do is sit back and observe. Don't say anything to your boyfriend about it bothering you or not, or else he'll hide his emotions from you, which wouldn't be good because I think you should see how he reacts to all of this. Just watch how he handles this situation. Pay attention if he starts feeling compassion for this other lady, or also tries talking to her. If you're engaged to him, he shouldn't want anything to do with her...THAT'S DANGEROUS to the relationship and it isn't a good sign. So don't say anything to him, just sit back and watch everything.

And use good judgement. Don't marry someone who you think might have doubts deep down. And if you don't get a good feeling in your gut, GO WITH THAT GUT FEELING.

Again, OBSERVE and don't tell him what is on your mind and how it makes you feel, or he'll keep certain things from you. Just watch how he handles and reacts to all of this (just to repeat once more).