What, if anything, should I change about my teaching style?

Question

I teach 8th grade and I've always believed in being respectful, fair, consistent, energetic, and caring to the kids. Sometimes I feel like they are too young to understand that when I treat them well and pay attention to them and their lives, that those things are done to help motivate them and get them through the middle school years. As the year progresses, I usually run into increased disrespect, like this week for example. I know if I come in the door and act stern and even speak loudly and firmly, they'll listen and not get out of line. I'd rather not do that, but sometimes I have to. When I do, it doesn't sit well with them because they are used to me having a positive attitude.

I try hard not to deviate from how I feel things should be done, but sometimes I feel like they aren't old enough to get it and that I should change how I handle them. I'd just like to hear people's thoughts on this and if anything has worked for you in the past or if you have any suggestions.

These are all excellent responses. One thing that's been difficult is that our district has adopted Restorative Discipline. If any of you heard about the judge who let the rapist go because he felt it would be better to be out of jail and have counseling, our school follows that same philosophy. A kid spit gum on a teacher and the teacher was pretty angry and raised his voice. The parent called and then our faculty member was told he shouldn't have raised his voice with the student, so it's been a little crazy trying to keep the kids under control.

It's good to hear all the insight, so thanks to everyone.

Answer 1

I worked for a state’s Dept of Correction for 12 years. I worked at the central office but talked to some wardens and probation/parole officers. You might find this story offers an interesting view.

Gary, a former warden, told me this story about a young kid. Gary said he always thought he could talk anyone into anything. One time as new inmates were brought into the barbershop on their first day for their mandatory “buzz” haircut, one kid said he didn’t want a haircut. Instead of having the guards hold him down for the haircut, Gary called him over and talked to him about getting his hair cut while the barbers continued to cut the hair of other inmates.

Gary said, numerous times he though he had the kid convinced to follow the rules. But at the last minute, the kid back away. Gary said he could see behind the kid – the guards were beginning to get ready to hold him for the haircut. Still the kid refused. At last all of the other inmates had their haircut. Gary again told the kid that he had to get a haircut because that was the rule. The kid said no. The guards held him down and they cut his hair.

The next day, the kid asked to see Gary. Gary said the inmates often complained that the guards had used too much force, so he went to see the kid. The kid told Gary that was the first time in his life someone had made him do something. That he could always talk (BS) himself out of trouble. That he had been before the judge numerous times and was always given “one more last chance” to straighten up or face incarceration. But that Gary meant what he said – the first time. Gary said he never had any problems with the kid as he served his time.

Isn’t it sad – that it took all of that – before the child learned – HE was responsible for what He did?

Answer 2

Being stern and firm IS being respectul, fair and consistent. This was something I learned the hard way my first year teaching. Middle school kids will push boundaries. That's what they do. They will test you at every turn. That's part of growing up and it's developmentally normal. Your job as their teacher is to set and keep those boundaries. Don't feel bad about having to do so. You're doing the kids a favor and, although they may not openly admit it, they appreciate that.

I believe that letting kids get away with bad behavior is more disrespectful than yelling at them for it. If kids don't receive discipline, they are being cheated! Teachers have a responsibility to be in charge in a classroom. It's too much pressure on an adolescent to be in charge. The kids are depending on you to set limits that they can't place on themselves of their own volition.

When I started teaching, one of my biggest problems was that I was concerned about being fair. I made sure to listen whenever the kids told me I was being unfair. I tried to make them understand why each rule existed, and why they were being punished. What I didn't realize is that kids DO understand when you're being fair, but they will almost always say that you're not. They will deny and argue, and continue to act up as long as they think can get away with it.

On the other hand, I found that when I simply took control and said "I'm in charge and you'll do things my way. I'm mean and I'm not fair, so deal with it," the kids respected it a lot more! They saw that I really was fair and consistent. They felt safe because they knew I was in charge of the situation. This doesn't mean I didn't listen to them or care about them. They knew I cared about them because I cared enough to make them do their work and stay in line!

Answer 3

Many teachers I know (including my sister) have told me that the first few weeks are critical in setting the tone for the rest of the semester/year with their class. At first they are more stern, setting the rules of the classroom and ensuring the students abide by them/understand them BEFORE acting too friendly with the kids. I think this is especially important for middle school students. I know these teachers - they ALL have a great sense of humor and truly care about their students - so I know this comes across to the students. However - REMEMBER! you are their TEACHER - NOT their buddy; you are the ADULT in the situation and they need you to have boundaries set. Too many adults forget this (including parents). You can be respectful and caring for these kids, but not a doormat - they may need you to be stern at times, to say Stop! or No! and that's okay, it's part of being a good teacher, as well as part of being a good parent.

Answer 4

I have taught 8th-12th at various points, and 8th graders are the hardest to manage and deal with. With that in mind, your practices always need to be changing; just think about how quickly they are. You must be firm and consistent, yet approachable to stay with your ideals, which are wonderful.

When I was teaching 8th grade, I had a strict "3 strike" policy. If a student talked or acted out of turn, the third offense earned a detention. This was easy to keep track of. I simply kept a paper next to me, and each time I had to redirect a student, I said their name as a signal to the student, and then I jotted their name down. When that name was there 3 times, it was a detention. This worked because it was swift, unobtrusive, and hard to argue with. It also did not paint me as "the big bad wolf" because I did not have to do anything more than state and write down a name.

Talk to your colleagues and keep at it!!! Teaching middle school is a challenging, rewarding experience!

Answer 5

I've been in teaching for 38 years. I've been in middle school and high school and have seen it all. Kids will be kids as they say,but you have to realize they are a culmination of what they learned from their parents and their interactions with their peers. The problem will only get worse with all this nicey nice stuff that is being fostered in today's education. Let's ask the kids what they want to learn. Lets re test them so they can get a better grade, Lets overlook all their bad habits because if we confront them it will ruin their self esteem. I truly believe today's kids lack the guidance from home and need someone in their life to kick some ***. You are the teacher..... not their friend. Many teachers make that mistake and it messes up their career trying to be both. You get paid to teach, principals get paid to run the school, and counselors get paid to counsel (right!). You need to be firm, fair and above all consistent. That's the only thing these kids will respect.

Answer 6

You probably had some rules for your classroom when you started. All went well. Then someone did something that was just over the line but you didn't call them on it because it wasn't all that bad. Then someone went a tad further and someone further and pretty son the line was forgotten.

Go back to your rules. You can rest the line in January, March or May. You just have to be vigilant and pay tons of attention to appropriate behavior. The book below will keep you in teaching.
We need people who are self-reflective and open to ideas.

Answer 7

I have four kids. I have also been a teacher. Some days are better than others. Everybody has a bad day, even 8th graders and sometimes all together. Maybe the lesson plans need to be custom fit a little by personality? Just a thought. There are 7 basic groups of paradigm for learning. Research will help you there. And some Mnemonic games on their level would be great. A little hands on never hurt anybody either.

Answer 8

First off, thank you for the hard work you do in teaching. Now, I think you are underestimating these kids. By the time they reach the 8th grade they should know how to act and behave. Unfortunately in today's world many of them don't. Yes, it is the parents' responsibility to teach them this but as a teacher it is also partly yours. I wish you could be "yourself" allthe time but unfortunately there are going to be times when you have to act in whichever manner the situation calls for. The kids will have to learn not to take your respectfullness, fairness, energy and caring ways as signs of weakness. Good luck

Answer 9

You know, I know exactly how you feel. I taught advanced 9th graders for the past 6 or 8 years and now I have both levels of 8th grade and it has truly been a culture shock for me. I like to approach my class much like you do. I am just stubborn enough that I won't change my teaching style. Don't know if that is the best route or not, but I don't know what else to do. I am eager to see some of your responses.

Answer 10

I used to teach 8th grade English. I know exactly what you're saying. Some will always take advantage of your good nature and try to take control of the class. I guess I would be friendly (for lack of a better word) to a certain point, but as soon as someone stepped out of line, I was quick to turn serious and remind them who was in charge. Don't be afraid to dole out consequences for disrespectful behavior!