child abuse?

Question

In my opinion, kids shouldn't be hit at all, but sometimes, a spanking is in order. but what is considered a spanking to the point of child abuse?....please no jokes..this is serious

ok, the point of this question was my mom hit(well practically beat me up)me. i don't know what i should do...i've wanted to runaway but i have nowhere to go....i wanted to tell...afraid of going into fostercare. what should i do?

Answer 1

I never hit my child in anger cause you never know!

Answer 2

Spanking is swatting on the bottom or a slap on the hand ---Anything done in complete out of control anger on the parents standpoint would be a beating--or done with the intent to conflick engery--I was raised and spanked--I learned and guess what the teachers and principals could also swat too--and there was order and respect in the schools --I spanked all four of my kids (when needed) and they love me to this day--when I was spanked I needed it and so did my own--I think that this time out stuff is tiring--and redundant--When I was told no and repeated the wrong and was Then swatted--I didnt do that again--I respected others belongings--didnt touch stuff that wasnt mine--and when I had my own kids I didnt put my stuff up or KID proof the house (ornimantal stuff) they were told no and if they touched they got a swat--NOT a beating--just so they knew NO ment NO--And all the kids tryed ONCE throwing one of those fits in the store wanting something and screaming about it (you hear these kids all the time) and I would say "Why are you cring you are not hurt--and if you dont stop I will give you a reason to cry--and then make it happen--am I a mean Mom?? No my kids all love me they are not scared and the other shoppers didnt have to listen to a child being spoiled and allowed to scream --or worse giving in and making the next trip to the store a repeat action-- It took one time for them to realize that I didnt say no to thier wants because I didnt want them to have the whatever it was because it wasnt on the list ..First they took it out of School --now in Calif . they are trying to outlaw it too--I am so glad I dont have to raise anymore small children-- I wouldnt--if I had too?? I would spank---if needed--
By the way--all my kids were and still are wonderful in public such as a restraunt --they have manners--and even as small children they were well mannered didnt make mess's and I had compliment's regulairly--I was not a stone cold Mom --I just expected what was expected of me at that age--and I was asked to be mannered--I respected my peers and my elders--to bad thats not the case with the youth today--

Answer 3

I think when the parent has more anger than trying to teach the child "this is wrong". If they have anger towards the child it isn't right. They need to be a disciplinarian instead of just taking their own personal anger out on the child.
I think by law in some places it's also if the spank or hit leaves a mark up to 48 hours after it happened.
I was spanked as a child and learned from it. I believe in spanking, but it also has to be done under the age of 4. Otherwise it won't work. You have to start from the beginning. I don't see it as child abuse. For the most part when I grew up it only took a stern voice for me to stop doing whatever was bad. I think you need to put a fear in the child to know that you are in charge and they are not. Not for them to live in fear at all, but for them to fear doing it again and know the concequences if they do. It's not harmful in my eyes. I did not hate my parents for it. I didn't even think that. I just knew that if I did those things I would get a spanking. Alot of times it didn't even hurt, it was knowing that your parents think you've done something so horrible that you're getting the lowest discipline of all. I have respect for my parents for doing so. You can always tell in the grocery store who's kids are and are not spanked. The kids that are not spanked are the ones kicking and screaming and yelling back at their parents. Running haywire. My mother (and I remember it) would get compliments for how well behaved me and my brother were. I think in my situation it shows spanking did well.

Answer 4

First, if you're using physical punishment when you are angry, that's a big danger sign. Don't - if at all possible, hand off responsibility to another adult until you calm down.

Second, spankings should be very rare, and only used with children who are too young to really reason with. A swat on the fanny is reasonable to get a toddler to remember that she is NOT supposed to run out into the street. A spanking isn't a reasonable way to deal with a 10 year old, who is old enough to logically understanding what he did that was wrong and to have a punishment that is connected to the offence.

Never stike a child with anything but your bare, open palm. Don't strike a child's bare skin. If you leave marks, you're hitting too hard.

And again - NEVER punish when you're angry. Let the offense go rather than taking a chance of letting your anger get away from you.

Reading your addendum - if you're old enough to post here, you're far too old to be spanked.

Report your mother. It's much more likely that she'll be given training to help her know how to be a better parent than that you will be taken away from her. And in the unlikely case that you were removed from her home, if you have any family around who qualify as foster care homes at all, the state prefers family placements over placements with strangers anyway.

Answer 5

I think a spanking is only acceptable and applicable when you have no other way of communicating with an unruley child, and even then it should be very soft almost a pat and not a spank to catch the childs attention and caution them against what they are doing anything more is an unfair use of authority. Any child old enough to understand right from wrong should be spoken to not spanked.
If you think you're being abused get in touch with someone you can trust like a counsellor, minister, teacher, tey may be able to help you find options other than foster care such as therapy for you and your mother.

Answer 6

First of all - try to do what you are told within reason.... If you ageed to it.. then do it. If you are beat for unknown reason then ask later when the situation is calm... Also you may have to do this. After the beating... Just be cool about it for a few days... Then bring it up... "Mom, remember the other day when...." Then say, "well, I felt that you may have used more force that what was necessary." Wait and see what she says.... You may have to say, "I feel like you were releasing your anger on me instead of just trying to discipline me." Wait and see what she says.

If you are being abused you will need physical evidence. If you have physical evidence (more than what you think is right) then see a child protection agency or the police and be prepared for a life changing experience. This will cause your mom a lot of mental anguish and pain.

Lastly, look into self protection like karate and Judo and learn how to run fast. I ran away once and it actually helped... My parents got worried when I was gone so long.... Then when I showed up - they were happy to see me and they had even forgotten what I did!

Answer 7

It is my opinion that spanking only works with children under the age of 5 years. After that it is hitting. The person who is doing the punishment is teaching the child to be violent to make their point. two to five years, open hand on the butt only with pants on, to shock only not to cause pain. That is OK. If you hit and leave a mark its criminal. If a person (Stranger) puts there hands on you in anyway that is strong you can put them in jail for assault. So, because you know the person its OK? Not!
There are other ways and tools that you can learn to be a good parental guide to your kids. I do have not spanked my kids and thy are not 25,23,20,19,19,and 16. cap and gown and honor roll. Love is a powerful deterrent.
Tracylyn S

Answer 8

Depends where you are. Im from the midwest and thats how we are raised. (if you dont be have youll get the better end of mommys hand) I think that it depends on the place and how hard you do it. Now some people say yes its child abuse. But i honestly think that a kid needs discipline. i dont totally agree with time outs work all the time. i think to the point where spanking is child abuse is if you do it super hard where theres brusies. In the east of the US people considerite alot of times abuse. Buthere in the midwest its a simple way of telling a child that you better straighten up. but the point where spanking crosses the lines is where you leave visible marks and where you do it. if your in public i recommend a firm pat. ( most parents have been there) just dont do it to forcfully. Just hard enough that the child gets the point to stop what he or she is doing like throwing a fit and to say its not acceptable. :) hope that helps!

Answer 9

Honey, if you are thinking of running away, then your Mom is not spanking you, she is beating you, right? Go to a counselor or a teacher at school and ask them to call CPS. Don't be afraid of foster care. Who told you to be afraid of foster care? Your mom?
I was in foster care when I was little. That was more than 30 years ago and I am still in touch with my foster parents today. It's much better for your mom to get help. Your mom doesn't feel good after she hits you either. And it gets worse unless something gets done to stop it. Don't feel guilty. Stop it now before she really hurts you. Please tell someone.

Answer 10

Abuse there is also verbal abuse you may never touch a child but calling them names such as stupid or lazy can get to them as for spanking it should be painful but not to an extent that there tied down or brused. mybe a little red on the butt might teach them a lesson or two. Never take away needs such as cothes shoes, or food u7nless it is a desert or somthing such as an assesorie or expensive clothes that they do not really need. also never use water or locking in ropoms you can take away privlages such as tv but dont exclude them this could leave long time social skills problems and a mental instability.

Answer 11

My mom was heavy with her hand, and I vowed I'd never be that way with my own.
But if she did beat the crap out of you, and you don't want to go to fostercare, then I suggest you don't do whatever u did again, and stay away from those things that make her react this way.
If you report it, you better believe you will go to foster care... How old are you?