I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 3 years (we're back together and things are getting better between us) and last night I asked him where are going from here now that we're back together and been going for 3 years. Out of the blue, he said he want me to move in with him. Is that a sign that he will eventually propose to me? Our relationship is somewhat long-distance (we live 90 minutes apart and our careers doesn't really help) but we managed to make it work for that long. I had stayed over a few times and things were okay (except when I'm a klutz).
So is him asking me to move in with him means that he wants to marry me? Also, is this a good idea? It's not like we're in our early 20s. I'm 25 in May and he's 28 with stable careers.
2007-01-25 11:00:45 · 14 answers · asked by Bibi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to answer one person's question, though it's 90 minutes away, we're both close to the city so I don't need to transfer my job (as a matter of fact, I'll be much closer to work).
Also, I have never brought up marriage in fears of scaring him off. I just asked him innocently, not knowing what his answer will be. But there were times in which he said "wait until we tell our kids" or something that contains a possible long term future for us. We're going away on vacation in May and didn't give him an answer yet but want to play it by ear for now. But I just want suggestions for now.
2007-01-25 11:23:35 · update #1
Living together can lead to marriage or save you from one. You can get to know the person really well and make an informed decision if this is the man for you: it's surprising what you learn and facing a day to day reality check can be a good eye opener.
2007-01-25 11:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I perswonally would say to him unless you see us getting married or atleast being engaged you do not feel comfortable moving in with him if he has an honest response to that then maybe go for it but be smart if you move in with him then he saysa something like its just not working for me then you are kinda between a rock and a hard place. Try a trial period maybe spend a couple of weeks with him and see how it feels for the both of you living under the same roof sometimes just a few weeks can determine
if this is somewthing you really want to do. Also remember this it is not uncommon this day and age for the lady to propose to the guy so you could always pop the question. Come on its been three years if he has commitment issues maybe its time to find out before you spend anymore time waiting for him to propose?
2007-01-25 11:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question is difficult. It depends on the particular couple and situation. People are waiting longer to get married these days. Some people don't see the need to get married at all. If you can be happy living with him without an engagement than do it. It's a good way to get to know how you work together...and become closer. But you really need to talk to your boyfriend about your desire to be married. If he has no desire to get married but still wants the comfort of a live in companion than that is fine if you are fine with it. If not, then maybe you shouldn't do it...it might only disappoint you if he doesn't propose. Also, you would be moving in with him? Are you going to transfer or get a new job? Is that what you want? If you can't live without him, than you should seriously consider moving in...who cares about conventions?
2007-01-25 11:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by teddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately not my dear. Hopefully whatever time you all have spent apart has given you both a renewed appreciation for one another. I don't think it is a good idea to rush into marriage just because you are living together, but definitely go for the experience. It would be horrible to be married and then find out that you all wouldn't get along living together.. you know? Also, don't let youself (or him) be in a position where you are "playing house" based upon unanswered promises of marriage. Take care & best wishes*
2007-01-25 11:22:35 · answer #4 · answered by jadawncarson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bibi,
The statistical evidence says that couples who cohabit take longer to get married and have higher percentages of no marriage ever. Actually, the numbers are quite shocking. It's something like 60% of cohabiting couples never marry.
If he is willing to talk to you about moving in together, you should also be talking about longterm goals for the relationship...as in, when/if you might talk about marriage. I would caution you against moving in with him however. If it is at all possible, you should try to look for a new place together (that would be more of a commitment on both your parts). And, that way, you won't run into issues of you being the invader of his space, on his turf. There are many questions to ask yourself and him before taking this step...you need to have a long conversation about them first.
2007-01-25 11:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by Monique D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should but the sad and scary part is when you are living together sometimes one person gets too comfortable and after a while does not feel it it important to marry. I would not live with the guy if it were me until we were married. Why would he have to buy the cow if he is getting the milk for free if you know what i mean.
2007-01-25 11:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. Asking you to move in means he wants you to move in and stop with the marriage talk. If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked you to marry him.
There is no guarantee that moving in will lead to marriage. But it will definitely lead to a few more years of limbo, either way. Do you really want to spend another 3 years not knowing?
Ultimatums never work, You either move in, move on, or say no and leave it the way it is. But you can't force him to propose.
2007-01-25 11:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but asking to live together is a slap in the face. If I were you I would hold out for a real proposal. Not some pseudo-semi-love acknowledgment. There is no acceptable replacement for responsibility.
2007-01-25 11:16:28 · answer #8 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do NOT want to get married then go ahead and move in. I would NOT move in until a wedding date is set and preparations are made. He wants the perks without the commitment. Not a good idea. If you are willing to move in with him then you both should be willing to set a wedding date after an engagement.
2007-01-25 11:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by spinster wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you don't shack up with him and wait until you two are actually married? What's the rush? If he really wants to marry you, he'll propose and you two can move in together after you're married.
2007-01-25 11:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋