So, what is he trying to do now?

Question

The father of my child and I broke up about 2 months ago. It was a pretty bad breakup. I mean, I cried, and cried for weeks. He didn't seem to show anykind of emotion towards me; even though I was really really hurt. 3 days after our break up I find out he's with some one else. Now I'm at the point where I really don't care anymore. I continue on with school, I am there for my child(he is too.) And, I am sticking to my new years resolution of losing weight. I have had no contact with him for like 1 month, but all of a sudden he's starting to call me out the blue. Sometimes it's to chit chat, and other times it's to ask me meaningless questions. Then he asks if we can still be friends. I really don't want to be his friend, and I really don't want any kind of contact with him. I am trying to pick myself up and keep it movin, but it's like he's raining on my parade! What do I do? And what is he trying to do? I just don't get it.

Answer 1

i think the reason why this is happening is because he sees that you have moved on with your life and are no longer thinking about him. see...when you were crying and sad...you were thinking about him also you were giving him power over you by letting him see you devastated. but now you are moving on with your life and he sees that you have moved on from him. he still wants to be included if not maintain some kind of power over you. so now the ball is in your court and now you have the power instead of him. so you continue to ignore him and lose that weight and go to school. good for you.

Answer 2

Unfotunately, unless he's been declared an unfit parent by the courts and had all parental rights terminated, he has a right to be around because of your child. A court can decide a visitation schedule and the guidelines for it, as well as the amount of child support he's liable for.

But you can tell him you don't think friendship will be possible, and you only want contact with him when it concerns your child, then stick to that decision. If he calls and tries to just chat, be civil, but tell him you don't want to talk to him and hang up. But, I will tell you that in the long run, it'll be better for your child to have both parents around, and even though he or she will know mom and dad aren't together, if you can treat each other with some respect and civility, it won't cause any resentment or emotional problems for him. It's not easy, especially when you were so hurt, but you need to think about your child and how this can affect him or her.

Answer 3

A lot of men don't show emotion with these things unfortunately. It doesn't mean they don't think about things, just that they have a hard time dealing with them. In your case though unfortunately l would say he already had someone else waiting around for him, as 3 days is certainly not long enough to get over a break up. As far as him contacting you now, l would say he either feels guilty about what he has done to you ( not likely though ) or he and his other partner have split up ( more likely ). It's your life , you do what makes you happy, just like he has done already. If you don't want to be his friend or you don't want contact with him, well then don't. It's your call. Don't allow him to rain on your parade. You do what you want for you, no-one else. Be a little selfish, he was. The balls in your court now, use it. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

He might got dumped by the idiot he was seeing. who knows, and most importantly, who cares. You have your life now and you are well on your path to happiness, which will be surely lost if you get him into your life.
This is what you do.
You tell him that unless he calls you to talk about child support or send money for your child, you are not interested in any friendship or lame conversation.
If he calls you can also say, "Sorry can't talk, it's not a good time" Even if you are just sitting there, conditioning your hair and watching TV.
You need to make sure he gets the picture: His friendship is neither desired nor required. Make sure that you have legal custody of your child and he pays support.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

Easy, don't answer his calls, don't respond to his emails. He'll get the hint. He's trying to push your buttons and still be the man in your life. Let him go unless you two want to work things out. If he's just trying to be friends with you, then ignore him and don't respond to any calls, emails, letters...

I was separated for 3 weeks and I heard the same thing. Can we be friends? I ignored him and we are in marriage counseling and doing devotionals together and it's been a blessing and a huge wake up call for me. You never know what can happen. If he's trying to push your buttons, let him be. Good luck to you and your little one.

Answer 6

Keep moving right along without him and keep healing. He may have realized that he made a big mistake, but it would be very hard to re-establish trust with him now. Tell him you are not interested and don't keep talking to him other that what is necessary for your child, it will keep him hanging around and calling because it will make him think you are interested.

Answer 7

think he wants to keep u around just in case it doesn't work out with the one he is now with. but it would be wise of u to break contact, as right now u may still have feelings for him and the last thing u need to do is go back with him. just keep looking to the road ahead, don't look back. u don't even want him as your friend.

Answer 8

He is just being selfish and does not want to see you happy or be happy again without him. Misery loves company you know and it seems to me that he is pretty miserable right now and not really happy in his life... I feel however that with time you should try to be friends with him someday at least on some kind of speaking terms.... But this will take time and healing on your part... Just focus on you right now and getting better and trying to get past this. I think he misses you and wants to get to know you again.

Answer 9

Since you have a child together, you will always have to be in contact with him is some way.

Go with what your gut tells you. It is right 99% of the time.

Answer 10

keep on keepin on...lose the weight,focus on your education and press on and make your own version of happiness...sounds to me like you know what matters and you are taking all the right steps to better your end of the situation.Your self,your health and your child are your priorities- stay on task,girl....he's probably second guessing his rebound and seeing you in the light he should've stuck with.You go,girl and set some healthy boundaries if being his friend is going to be hurtful or distracting to your mission of onward and upward.....best of wishes and much peace..