Do you feel like a failure?

Question

when you have a c section? After I had mine my sister in law made me feel lousy. My dog had puppies about a month after and she said 'see she didn't need any pain relief'!!! comparing me to a dog! I had to have one after 8 hours because my baby got stuck. I had an epidural and my sister in law is making out like I'm a wuss. They can hardly rip my stomach open while I had no pain relief, I'd die of shock! She had two 9lb babies and just plopped them out with no pain relief or stitches...I don't wanna think of what she's like down there! lol...I do feel like a failure now, do you feel the same after having one?

Answer 1

I had to have c-section first time round because of severe pre-eclapsia & 3 failed inductions & people still say to me (4 yrs later) "she was too posh to push"!! How dare they!! Yes most of us would love to do it the "proper" way but it is sometimes not possible. Anyway look at the cons for c-section stitches, the feeling that your tummy might open, you can't always be the first to hold your newborn, no driving for 6 weeks, a far longer stay in hospital, not to mention the other medical risks. As to comparing your birth to a dogs, how stupid!! And some dogs don't do it by themselves, mine had 2 alive pups, the 2nd was stillborn & then the mum gave up! She had to be rushed to vets for emergency c-section. Don't feel like a failure just because of what she says!! I did go on to deliver my 2nd baby naturally but he was stillborn - believe me that feels like failure. I am now pregnant again after losing baby 3 to a misscarraige & really lost on how to deliver but I do have a feeling it will be a c-section, I don't mind that though as long as I bring a healthy baby home with me. Labour & delivery (however baby is delivered) is only a fraction of what happens when you become a mummy, look at all the other wonderful things you do for your kid(s) over their lifetime.

Answer 2

You do not need to feel a failure because of your C. Section, however you are not alone in feeling like this as many women have similar feelings. Each birth is unique so nobody can judge you on the sort of delivery you had, not least your sister in-law who appears to have had an easier time than you. There is a gradient here and you can bet that some women have had an easier time than your sister in-law and some have had it harder than you. We have evolved over millions of years to stand on two legs, however our pelvises are still catching up which is one of the many reasons women need pain relief for labour. It sounds like you had a condition in labour called deep transverse arrest, where the babys head literally gets lodged in your pelvis, there is no option but to perform a C. Section for the health (and life) of the mother and baby. Without this (lifesaving) operation you would both had died. You have been a total success in that you carried and nurtured ithis lovely baby inside you, and not only that, the operation was a success also and without it you both of you would not be here. CONGRATULATIONS