Wake me up!!!!?

Question

Hello,

I'm married and having an affair with a married man. We're not only just fooling around but have discussed our growing feelings for each other. He also has two beautiful kids. We have no plans of stopping as of now but of course we wouldn't want to lose each other's spouses. We know what we have is all there'll ever be, we can never be together. I'm also friends with his wife and she confided in me that she had thought of cheating on him with her coworker. In fact, she went as far as to kiss him but she swore nothing else happened. She begged me to keep her secret, but I feel so rotten being her confidante when I'm also fooling around with her husband. What have I gotten myself into? I want to try hard to leave and walk away but I think I have feelings for him now. Please just serious advise. And no judgements. I know I'm wrong but can't help it.

Answer 1

get out of this while you can, if youre not happy in your marriage then get a divorce, otherwise why stay with someone who you are unhappy with so that you can repeatedly cheat on them...

Answer 2

Yes, you are wrong and so is your friend. If you want to do something right for your marriage, then you need to make an effort to leave this man and your friend whom you are close to. That is the only way that you will help to repair your marriage.

If you so much care for their kids and your kids, then stop with this behavior, I mean stop seeing this man. He could always say that he wants to stop this too, but if you really love your husband and kids, then you need to do what is right, leave the affair and let him make his marriage work with his wife too.

They are both a bad example to you and you are a bad example to her and him too. You feel rotten because you are doing the same thing, which is hypocracy! Being a hypocrite that is.

The only way to leave those feelings is to walk away from him and never see them both again. Either way, if she finds out that her husband is seeing you, you will most definately lose her friendship anyway. So it is best to end it now. I would also consider on getting counseling for yourself. Also go get the book called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage", and if you ever had a bad childhood, then read the book called, "Bad Childhood, Good Life". They will all be of help to you, that's if you are willing to be the wife to your husband that he deserves, and if you are willing to be the mom that your kids deserve.

Remember, when all secrets are revealed, that is when kids are the ones who suffer and remain broken. Something to really think about. You can do this if you so respect yourself and your body, but mostly, your husband and kids.

Answer 3

I know what your going through and I feel for you. I think what you might want to try is telling your man friend you need to take a brake. That will give you some time to find out what you really want. If you keep doing what your doing you take the chance of destroying your marriage, that's not something you want to do if you love your husband and not the other guy. You can destroy a lot of people with this, if its just sex is it worth it?

Answer 4

Walk away u r in too deep, if u never plan on either of u leaving ur spouses then whats the point too many people stand to get hurt and there is also kids involved.

Answer 5

everyone messes up its ok. you just need to think if you don't stop and your husband and his wife finds out what are the concequences. divorce is one, loesing a good friend, and people will feel like they can't trust you. if you don't get a divorce your marriage will never be the same. now think would you want to risk any of these things happening. remember you fell in love with your husband and him with his wife this thing you've got going on is not worth losing that love.

Answer 6

I understand your feelings. I really do. You can be happy with what you have and hope that one day, it will all work out. Being her friend is a good way to keep track of her and plan your actions. We both know it not the "right " thing to do. But should we live in unhappiness when "the one" may be right there? Live your life, be happy, be careful. I wish I knew the answer.

Answer 7

you know that this relationship can go nowhere, so why continue with it. are you going to be satisfied with a man who is never there? holidays? weekends? special occasions?
sometimes we get in situations where we know we shouldn't have feelings for a person, but they continue to develop anyway.
the best thing we can do for all parties involved is to just move on.
its going to be hard, for both of you. try getting involved in some other hobbies and if possible avoid the man as much as possible so that you will not fall into old habits again.

Answer 8

I want to warn you, you are building up such a stress bomb for yourself, I am not sure-at which point your going to be able to actually cope with all this! I hate to write this, but it's true. The body can only endure so much you know. I have been in a similar situation, and when it all blew up, I found myself a mental wreck! Lets pray you don't regret your actions, because let's face it, this is not healthy!

Answer 9

You really need to stop seeing this guy,it will only end in heartache,u must love ur husband as u say u dont want to loss him,so mayb u need to work on that relationship.if u carry on with this affair u could end up with no1,u could loss alot,a friend, a husband and this guy,and im sorry to say this but if ur honest with urself u would only ave 1 person to blame.

Answer 10

Do you realize how many lives you are affecting by having this affair? It isn't just about you and him, whole families are affected. If you value your family and his at all, you need to get out of it as soon as possible. Your feeling of being "rotten" is your conscience speaking. You need to find the strength inside you and put your priorities back in order.

Answer 11

the longer u stay in this the more guilty u will feel, it can never come of anything, and basically it is nothing but lust. best to have a little self respect and get out of it, how can u look your husband in the face? do what is right for u, and get out of it before someone finds out and someones heart gets broken or their is a divorce over this.