Co-worker is causing a lot of undo stress. Do I complain?

Question

For a year now, a coworker has started a lot of problems with me. Things like spreading rumors, telling people I was talking about them, when I wasn't, and cyring to them (literally) and telling them that I did all these terrible things to her that I haven't done. I go to work everyday, do my job, and I don't bother her or try to start and problems.

I have been keeping a log of everything that has happened, and I do have proof of some things, but not of others. I am afraid that If I bring this to the attention of the people over me that they will either not believe me, or will assume that I am causing some of these problems as well. I knkow that supervisors have more to worry about than who can't get along. I have other coworkers that are seeing these problems, but don't want involved.

I cannot continue working with this going on. I LOVE my job, and am a single mother with 3 kids. I also NEED my job. Do I complain, or keep putting up with this?

thanks

Answer 1

You don't necessarily need to complain about this. All you have to do is make sure you handle it in the correct manner & it looks as though you've done that by keeping logs & proof. You have to be seen by management as not trying to cause trouble - but to somply be raising an issues that may (and will) affect your employment. By law all companies & corporations are required to have properly outlined all procedures and expectations in relation to workplace harrasment or bullying - and it sounds as thought this is exactly what this person is doing to you. In the real world - and if you wanted to - if you brought this to your employers attention and they refused to do anything about it or didn't handle it proffesionally (whether that be mediating or warning the other employee) then they are technically liable for any grief that this may cause you. As an employee you a entitled to a workplace free of thiss type of behaviour......so speak up or you will never be heard!! Good luck!.....and whatever you do - don't quit because that's exactly what the other person wants you to do - kill them with kindness - than everyone will see that she is making it all up!

Answer 2

My friend has gone through just what your going through, only she has put up with it for seven years.
She's held umpteen meetings for these concerns and to no avail.
I keep reminding her that, though she is sweet natured in her own circle of friends and family, she needs to let co-workers know from the get-go that she is not going to tolerate BS. There's a poise, voice and gesture to use. Body language speaks volumes. Familiarize yourself with leadership in your next job venture.
I realize you are a single mom with three kids and that you need this job. Been there done that. Don't let anyone know that you are in this position. Don't let your co-workers know that this is your stance, they will use this as amunition against you. You have to keep tight lipped about all skeletons, personal business, etc. Work is not the place to talk about personal issues (if in fact, this is what you might be doing).
If not, update your resume, and don't land on the first job that you get an offer. You want to be choosy with your next prospects. Take your time. Just tell yourself your leaving.
Honestly, you don't have much leverage. You can address this, it won't do any good unless you leave or this bully leaves. Companies don't care as they're only looking for their own purpose.
Sounds like a toxic work environment anyway, and you don't want that. You are a mom and need the energy for your kids. Sorry, I know you like your job, but what's more important?
You have to ask that of yourself.
Good luck...

Answer 3

Well, you need not go to your supervisors at all. Just find a person in HR and report her to them. If someone is making you uncomfortable at work and you know for sure that you're not doing anything to cause it, you should not have to stay quiet and suffer it in silence.
Don't bring up anything that you cannot back up with proof but everything else you can let your proof do the talking.
Good luck and don't stress yourself. It's the worst thing you can do to your own health.

Answer 4

I work for a very large company and never understand why the women do these things, like keeping notes etc. When i have a problem with a male or female at my office, I simply go to that person and say whats up!. Just keep in mind it's not the message you give them it's how you deliver it. Leave your self a voice message on your phone and practice what you want to convey, and most importantly listen to your tone of voice.

Answer 5

Start documenting exactly what he said word for word, including profanities, date, time, his full name/title/dept. Take it up anyway with your manager and back it up with your documentation, including the fact you spoke to him. Never mind they're friends. You have the right to work in a toxic-free environment and coworker's obnoxious behavior could affect your job performance, not to mention your mental health. If you manager had any sense he'll nip this in the bud pronto, because now you've got substantial written proof that could nail him. If the situation's not resolved, keep documenting, and THEN go to HR with your documentations, including the one you gave your manager. What you're doing is going up the chain-of-command methodically. Meanwhile, if his behavior still doesn't improve, or intensifies, keep documenting. The CEO's next (or whoever's above HR). You're in a hostile environment caused by this coworker=illegal. Better it's resolved on your manager's level, because if both he AND HR ignore your documentations, and you're fired on some petty charge (I hope not), your documentation turns into legal proof of your minefield workplace. No one likes missing a day's pay for a subpoena. Good luck

Answer 6

I would go to my supervisor, and explain that this person is causing so much stress that you are having difficulty concentrating on your work, and because you love working there you do not want to get in any trouble , DO NOT ask them, or tell them to do anything, the ball is now in their Court and let them deal with it, if they ask you what you want, tell them that you need the the gossip and stress to be taken care of, her behaviour is not your problem, so it is not your place to fix it

Answer 7

This is called harrassment.

Speak to her about the problem (in a professional way). Do not take on an accusatory tone - stay professional.

Give her a chance to explain and then give her a chance to correct the problem.

If the problem occurs again, immediately go to your manager and then to HR. Let HR know what's going on and the steps you've taken to solve the problem.

They always say... go to the source first.

Answer 8

Complain. This is clearly a case of bullying in the work place and it needs to be dealt with. She is very manipulative but as soon as she sees you won't just put up with it will probably back off.

Don't let her childishness ruin your career.

Answer 9

Hey you arent the only one, talk to your manager or who ever is in charge, its not fair to you. You cant be working in a place with a freak like that, expecially if you like your job. I know some people don´t want to get involved but who cares what they have to say or if they believe her, this is about you. Make yourself happy not them, or especially weirdo girl.

Answer 10

you dont have to deal with this! talk to a manager or something and try to convince them that you are telling the truth! im sure that they will understand exspecially because you have that log! get the other coworkers involed (if they want to)
BEST OF LUCK♥