Is it reasonable to expect a home-cooked meal every day?

Question

I feel 2-3 a week cook dinner at home, and go out once a week, and a few times get pick-up, like chinese or something.... that sounds ok, doesn't it?
But apparently not to my husband, he keeps complaining that I don't cook enough. I really don't want to spend 1 hour grocery shopping and 2 hours cooking every day! That would take 3 hours each day out of my life. So what should I do, it is really a big issue for him, I want to make him happy, but he is also a very picky eater. And sometimes he says "anything, except stake, chicken or fish or spaghetti". Other times he says: "hhmmm it's good, but don't make it again." I can never win with him are all man like this?

he hates beef stew

if I amke Hamburger Helper he will make fun of me for the rest of my life because Hamburger Helper is not from scratch.

He doesn't like any foods that you can cook in 30 minutes or less. He wants very complicated meals.

Answer 1

Do what ever you feel comfortable with.
Good Luck

Answer 2

No not all men are like that ... he should appreciate any cooked meals from you ... but it is nice to have a change every now and then ... pick up a few new cook books ... go shopping once a week ... get the items you'll need for each night - that way you're not spending an hour at the store and two hours cooking ... they have tons and tons of fast meals - 30 minute meals ... etc ... get a few of those books and he'll be begging you for more ... take some initiative and show him you can and know how to cook more than just Spaghetti ... lol ... I try to make most of the meals home cooked during the week and leave going out / fast food for the weekends ... I think it's a huge deal if you have a family ... dinner time is essential ... it's not about the food ... it's about bringing the family together ... sitting down ... talking like normal people ... no t.v. ... no phone calls ... just smiles, laughs & real life ... try explaining that part of it to him too ... and maybe he'll lighten up ... !

Answer 3

You know what, I was agreeing with you until the following: " 1 hour grocery shopping and 2 hours cooking "

No way it shuold take that long. In 1 hour a week you should be able to buy a weeks worth of food to make for 4 or 5 dinners. Cooking should take no more than 1 hour a day, 30 minutes more like it. Also, make enough at each dinner so you have leftovers for another night.

Going out once a week is good. Take out 3 times a week is not good. Not only does it cost more than a home cooked meal it is not as healthy.

Now, if you are both working, then make him help. If you are stay at home mom, then dinner is part of your job. I guess I kind of agree with him and think you are making more out of this than it is to get out of the work.

Answer 4

Well, you're going to have to work with him on this one. And no, he's not being unreasonable here, really it's healthier and less expensive to eat at home, especially if you're getting carry out. If you plan carefully, you won't have to spend 1 hour shopping and 2 hours cooking a day either--I can get dinner on the table in about 1/2 hour. Get his ideas on what he would like to eat--maybe even ask his mother (since she's spent alot more time cooking for him than you have!). Do as much prep work as you can in advance, veggies can be washed and cut when you get home from the grocery, and then stored in either ziplock bags or tupperware containers. Meat can be cubed, I've even pre-cooked ground beef for stuff like spagetti sauce. If you have a crock pot, that makes for some very easy meals--beef stew is GREAT in a crock pot, and is very simple to put together too, and then you just ignore it all day long. There are also MANY great recipe sites online, where you can get free recipes for whatever ingredients you have on hand. http://allrecipes.com/ is my personal favorite.

My husband's a picky eater too, so I know how you feel about never winning this one. It's why you really need to get his input. Show him a recipe, and ask him to read it and ask his opinion. Then try it. You'll find some duds, but you'll find some winners too. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

The answer depends on IF you also work outside the home. When both spouses work outside the home, expecting a home cooked meal every day is unreasonable. For our relationship, almost all our meals are home cooked, but my wife doesn't work outside the home, and I also cook. But, we don't cook a different meal every day. We both like things like home made spaghetti, and when we make it, we make a lot, then freeze leftover sauce. That way, we just thaw the sauce, and boil noodles. Instant home cooked meal. We do the same with homemade soups, roasts, etc. Bless tupperware. I'm not saying that you, or anybody should HAVE to cook every day. It's up to each couple to decide. COUPLE, not just hubby. In your case, this seems like a type of power trip. But, I must point out that cooking each day doesn't mean a trip to the store every day, you simply make a list, and fill your cart. And not every meal takes hours to cook. After all, you can put a roast, a chicken, or a one dish meal in the oven, and forget about it for a couple hours, while you do whatever. The stove does most of the work. Your husband should also consider the fact that men can also cook. Even "manly" men. I'm a hunter, wilderness camper, and a military veteran. I'm a better cook than my wife- and she IS a good cook. My father was a paratrooper during WWll- and he cooks. So, if hubby faults your cooking, let him SHOW you how he likes things made.

Answer 6

Your husband is unreasonable. I kinda feel guilty for not cooking enough, cuz I maybe cook like twice a week, and the rest of the time it's either leftovers, restaurants, pizza, take-out or pre-made foods like hamburger helper. But my husband never complains, he appreciates everything I do, and is more than willing to make his own hamburger helper if I for whatever reason don't feel like cooking. Your husband needs to get realistic, and stop complaining so much. Or, take his paycheck, and hire a chef. Also, look in the Food section of your local paper, I found many good recipes this way; most things I make don't take very long, but often you can't tell. I used to get a lot of cooking magazines (like Cooking Light and others like that), I still have piles that I go back to for inspiration. I agree that many of these simplified recipes are marginal, but there are some that are excellent, and those I keep making again and again.

Answer 7

First: he's being honest with you, and that beats being passive-aggressive. Statements like "this is good, but don't make it again" is a lot nicer than "don't make this again" -- and also nicer than "this is good" but secretly he hates it. So don't knock him for statements like that, he's being honest but polite.

As for one hour grocery shopping and two hours cooking every day, good lord, are you some kind of gourmet? You can cook at home every day of the week, with less than an hour a day of effort and only a few hours at the grocery store (if that) each week. "Home cooked" is not the same as "cooked from scratch", after all.

Here's what you do:

1. When he says "it's good, but don't make it again", take him at his word.

2. When he says "anything but x, y, or z", don't stress about what it should be -- make the simplest thing that isn't x, y, or z. If he complains (I don't think he will, frankly) just say "Sorry, but since you didn't know what you wanted, I made what I wanted. Tomorrow tell me what you want and I'll make it."

3. Once a week, go to the grocery store. Get enough pasta sauces, pre-prepared cuts of meat (all spiced and ready to cook) and similar stuff so that you only need to "assemble" a dinner 4 days out of every seven. For the other two days, you can do something from scratch -- but better to take the same sauces, meats, etc. and add things to 'em (like chicken fat, spices and meat to sauces, or additional spices or prep to meats) that make it look like you're doing a lot of cooking, when all you're doing is altering (and hopefully improving) the taste of the pre-made stuff. On the seventh day, order in -- or better, make him take you out, since you cooked at home the rest of the week.

By the way, this assumes you're a stay-at-home wife without a lot of kids; if you have more than one kid or work full time, daily home cooked meals are more than he should expect, unless he's making them half of the time.

Answer 8

It depends on the situation. That's more than my wife cooks, but our son is special needs and she spends about four hours a day on his physical therapy alone, not to mention the regular diaper changing and feeding and playing that goes along with raising a baby. My wife manages (somehow... how I'll never understand) to make a home cooked dinner once or twice a week. But before our son? Every night! And my wife is the best cook. Seriously, when I was single, I decided early that I was going to have to just accept that my future wife could never be as good of a cook as my mother... then I met Teri... turns out she's a better cook. That's not why I married her, but if I hadn't, I'd have sent my wife to her for cooking lessons. (Which would have been awkward since she offered to be my extra-marital lover if I ever married anyone else... anyway, my wife is more awesome than most people are able to understand, and that just doens't help answer your question at all, does it?)

Do you work? Start keeping a timesheet. One for you, one for your husband. Time at work and commuting all counts, plus time that you do any household chores, like cooking, fixing something. Do this for a month. Whoever works hardest (most hours) gets to set the home-cooked dinner schedule. You'll both be suprised how much you both work.

Answer 9

Do you both work? If so...why is he not sharing the cooking? If you are a housewife than I can understand why he may think it is reasonable to expect a home cooked meal every night..but if you have kids...then you definitely deserve a break from time to time. Eating out can be very expensive after awhile...and if you are wanting to do that up to four times a week...the yearly expense would be enormous! Have you ever sat down and looked at how much you are actually spending on restaurant food whether it is eaten in or on a take out basis? Find out what his favorite meals are and make them in bulk. Then you can freeze it and thaw on whichever night you choose. But as I said before..if you are both working you should be sharing responsibilities and he should be cooking as well. Sit down over the weekend and plan your meals for the week...then do the shopping. And as I said...you could do one day of quite bit of cooking...then freeze things...and be able to relax during the week. If he still complains...then tell him he is being unreasonable and cook it himself!!

Answer 10

No, not all men are like this. It's unreasonable, especially if you work. The only time I think one partner should be solely responsible for the cooking is if that partner is a stay-at-home. However, if you both work, you both should be involved in household duties. It's only fair. Why should one spouse pull a double when the other is watching TV? You both should put in the same number of hours a day, including housework. Tell him if he doesn't like it, he can make it for himself. My husband used to be the same way. I made Hamburger Helper two nights in a row. I'm a good cook, but I was very busy with work and school that week, so I went the easy route. One of his coworkers that I ran into said something about him comlaining at work about it. I just told his coworker, "well, he ought to be thankful. Tell him he can make his own damn supper from now on." I confronted him when I got home about it, but in a sly way. I just kind of asked him if he didn't like Hamburger Helper and I told him I was sorry I disappointed him and I'd try better from now on. His tail went between his legs and I said, "if you don't like what I make, cook for your own damn self, ***". That was the end of that.

Answer 11

i cook at least one meal a day at home usually dinner when we are all home.
if you manage your time correctly, you do not have to spend that much time in the kitchen cooking.
there are really simple, but tasty meals that can be prepared in about 1/2 an hour.
start by doing some research--pick 6 meals, write down all the ingredients you need. go shopping.
if you want to do it really simply --check out Rachel Ray's 30 minute meals. (she tells you everything you will need and shows you how to prepare it)
one thing i would do though is put a stop to your husbands pickiness. tell him "fine, i will cook 5-6 nights a week, you eat what i prepare and then you do the dishes afterwards"
really, eating at home is less expensive, more healthy, and gives you more time to spend with your family.
who knows, maybe you could get him to pitch in and help prepare the meal. (gives you quality time together)