Married men PLEASE?

Question

I met my husband in 1oth greade in highschool and we have been married 15 years now. He is an awesome man who workks come rain or shine. But I guess its that Im feeling like I dont even matter to him anymore. He comes home all sweaty and sexy and I try pouncing him at ther door naked and its " geeze can I get my clothes off? Well I was trying to help him with that problem when I got yelled out. I spent 3 hrs doing my hair and makeup on just right and each time it breaks my heart in a million peices when he doesnt even notice. What am I doing wrong? I make his favorite foods and its on the table when he walks in the door. I run his shower so itssteaming hot and he even gets a hot towel right from the dryer when he comes out/ all his clothes r out for the nmext day anmd always lesves with a hot brealkfasdt in his tummy/ I mean I know he is working extra long hard hours, but damn it guys what about me? I need a friend-him too ya know! I have a right to want some affection dont

Answer 1

all i can say is WOW........my wife used to that as well, and i guess i got used to having the perfect little woman around, and then she just stopped.......and i do mean everything........she was hurt and she felt like she had been betrayed, so it took me a few months to really see what a wonderful lady i have. leave him a little note on the bed or in a plastic bag in the shower where he will see it, explaining what you feel and why you feel that way. some men, including myself...sorry to say that.........forget why we married such wonderful women, and come to expect everything, and forget about the little things.......don't ever think there is something wrong with you, because you are a very beautiful person for even being there.......don't give up on him, he's a guy, and we do some of the dumbest things anyone could think of doing.......but yeah, try the note thing i suggested. oh , and yes, my marriage is still going strong, i just had to re-learn why i fell in love.........take care and i wish you all that is good

Answer 2

Well, I started out thinking you were doing all the right things, but then as I read on and on I see that you are coodling him too much. Geeze, hoovering might be a better term. Babying maybe. Sure I like dinner to be ready but it does not have to be on the table. Hot towel from the dryer? You a wife or a butler. He is spoiled rotten and acting like it.

You are right asking for some attention and friendship, but he gets handed everything he needs, so he doesn't have to work at anything and it shows. He's takes you for granted. I'd start cutting back on the service aspect. Let him come home and do what ever he needs to do to unwind and assimilate to home life. have dinner ready, but make him ask for it. Don't do the shower/towel thing, that is pathetic. Don't put his clothes out, that is way to mothery. Eww, makes me shiver just thinking about my wife treating me like this.

Now, two things might happen. He might ask why the change in attitude and you can expalin to him how you feel ignored and need more one on one time. The sex will come naturally if you make it past this stage.

Or, he might not give a crap and keep ignoring you, then you know he really is a looser and you can leave him without looking back.

Answer 3

Yes, you do have a right to some affection, and it looks like you're going above and beyond for your man. Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe he's grown accustomed to your service and is taking it for granted. I would suggest switching gears and not waiting on him hand and foot. When he notices and asks what the deal is, just tell him he doesn't seem to appreciate the effort you put into meeting his needs, so he can meet his own needs for a while and see how he likes it.
On the other hand, he may be very tired when he gets home from working so hard and for such long hours and would like some time to catch a breath. Maybe you should ask what he wants when he gets home. When he winds down and is feeling relaxed, he may be more able to show you some affection. Either way, you need to switch gears because, clearly, what you're doing (which is a lot) isn't getting the desired results.

Answer 4

Yes, you do have the right to some affection, but he also has the right to not need to come home and perform on demand. And about the hair and makeup... my wife is simply put the most beutiful woman on the planet, with or without makup. Is it any wonder I don't notice that she's "just a little more beutiful" when she puts on makup? Really, it's like asking me to notice that the sun was just a little bit brighter today. I still can't look stright into it! It's still brighter than any other light arround! Same with my wife... she's still the most beutiful thing around... how am I really supposed to keep track when she's "extra beutiful"?

OK, tackling him right as he comes in the door works for some guys, not for others, but for most of us it works only when things are going well at work. Does he love his job? No, I mean *really* love... like, is he desparate to get to work? No? Then back up a little as he comes in the door. You say he works long hours, that's good! It also means that he's TIRED at the end of the day.

Try a new tactic! Instead of tackling him naked at the door, have a drink in hand. When he sits down to take off his boots, hand him the drink and say, "Let me take care of that, honey." Then, while you take them off, ask, "How was work?"

Take off his boots, then his socks as he talks. Sometimes (you don't need make it a regular event or it can start to get taken for granted) have a bucket ready and wash his feet as he finishes talking to you. Then tell him about your day. When he's talking, actively listen and respond to what he says. Encourage him to do the same when you're talking.

On occasion, you can take it a little further even: instead of having water ready to wash his feet, start taking off his cloths as he talks. If he asks what you're doing, just say, "I'm listening to you. Keep going. What was that you were saying about..." make it specific. When you've got him naked and he's done talking about his day, then you strip while you talk about yours. Then... well, I'll assume you can figure out the rest. Or you can email me, I think if I go any further I'll get reported for abuse.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like he is over worked and tired he just wants to rest. Suggest he take some time off so you and him can go on a romantic getaway because you have been feeling unappreciated and neglected for all that you do around the house for him. I'm sorry but if you do all that I would be willing to jump your bones
even if I was coming home dead tired just to show you how much I appreciate all that you do. You sound very nice and caring
I hope you can tell your hubby that you just miss having the quality time together and that you need his man-hood once in awhile and just to be noticed by him.

Answer 6

no excuse from me on this one. I too started to neglect my wife after our 10 years of marriage. I was so driven to work hard and get all the stuff I thought we needed and i was very wrong. It took me some time to realize that the best things in life are not things..
If what you say is true and he doesn't pay you the affection you need, then you really need to get some counseling, that worked for me. If my wife met me at the door naked and all dolled up I'd be naked in a nano second..

Answer 7

I think you need to sit down with him and tell him how your feeling.

Yes you do have a right to want some affection. But maybe because he's working so much the stress from work is taking it's toll on his sex drive. If he's stressed, it can kill a sex drive.

It sounds like your a very loving wife. My suggestion would be to talk with him about it and share your frustrations with him.

Answer 8

whats going on here everyone telling you to stop doing for your husband...My God we are supposed to do for our spouse..Freely and without expectation..Thats true love.. Did it ever occur to you that he is going thru something really personell to him and that maybe just maybe he really is just working to hard. I am not imune to working to hard out of desire to provide for my family and become tired. Sometimes we as people just need a rest. And yes I agree talk to him. Do not go to another man. Big mistake to make and will cause more grief than its worth. Write him a letter and give it to him in the morning. This way he can think of that letter with your feelings all day. Good luck

Answer 9

Maybe you should stop trying to hard. Sounds like he comes home dirty, tired and worn out. Try to take him out on the days off. Go to his favorite places---movie, dancing whatever he is into. But don't jump into anthers arms just for affection. My wife say make a movie telling him how you feel and let him watch alone. Don't pressure him after wards. Let him come to you to talk about it. Good luck and I will pray for you.

Answer 10

I have talked to you a lot and have a picture of you and I dont understand him at all.Did this problem start after your promotion? Do you make more money than him.That bothers some men.Not this gie,Email me if you want to talk further.Anyway glad to see you here on answers and Good Luck with hubby.I wish the best for you.