Would you tell your kids?

Question

Would you tell your children if they were accidents? My mom told me I was an accident. I don't think it depresses me or anything but sometimes I think, wow I wasn't really wanted. Is ignorance, bliss?

I am pregnant with my second child and this baby as well as my first was not planned (I do everything backwards what can I say?)
I was debating if I would ever tell them that.

I was just wondering moms views on this

And spare me comments about my unplanned pregnancies. I am in a loving relationship, just got married 3 months ago and I am happy about life's little "oops"

I forgot to add, What if they asked?

I wasnt going to say like my mom did that I was an accident but I did debate if I would ever tell them that they came as a surprise

I would never use the word accident no matter if I decided to tell them or not

Answer 1

i think that nothing is completely unplanned because usually if you really dont want to have a baby you know what to do to stop that from happening. my husband and i just got married and we werent really trying but we werent not trying-- so my baby is kinda both-- plus, i think that everything happens in your life for a reason so even if it wasnt your plan it doesnt mean it wasnt anyones plan.. :)

Answer 2

Wow, I'm really surprised that your Mom would tell you in such a tactless manner, too. You know, neither of my kids were planned, either, but I came to the understanding several years ago that things happen for a reason, and my kids actually came into my life exactly when they were supposed to, whether it was on my "schedule" or "planned" or not. Our son was actually adopted by my husband, and has known only him since birth as his father. He has never known his biological father, who was (and still is) too immature and irresponsible to handle being a father. I plan to tell my son that I had him because I chose to have him, that I wanted him in my life, because all of that is completely true even if I didn't "plan" for him initially. Your Mom, just like many Moms out there, made a conscious choice to have you, and must have felt that feeling that she wanted to be a mother, wanted YOU. An "accident" is when you spill your drink and don't mean to, or when you say something you realized later you shouldn't have said because you weren't thinking about it. It should never be used to describe a child. There's always a conscious choice involved. You're here because you were and are meant to be here, plain and simple. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Sure. My son was planned, but if I had a child that was an "accident" I would tell them. It's not a big deal. Life always has surprises. There are much worse things than it being a child. And your child needs to understand that them being unplanned doesn't affect your love for them.

Answer 4

What is it about this whole "planning" craze. Not everything has to be written on to the calendar but Americans sure seem to think so as if it validates everything we do. I'd bet 99% of us were unplanned! Who cares. No, you shouldn't tell them. Why would you. What would you say...sorry son, but your dad and I just got horny and forgot to use a condom and you are the result?!

Unplanned means you were raped. That is truly being unplanned. Anything else means you knew you could get pregnant possibly so then not totally unplanned.

You obviously did not mind being pregnant, you probably love your child, so all they need to know is you planned on loving them from the beginning. Anything else is TMI.

Answer 5

Both of my children were unplanned but I would never tell them that. I consider them surprises, but never accidents. To me, accidents are something you wouldn't do again if you had the chance, and I could never feel that way about my kids. My son was born two months after his father and I got married (2 months early though), and I'm sure when he gets older, he'll figure it out, but it doesn't mean we feel any less about him or love him any less. That's what's important for them to know: that you love them unconditionally no matter what the circumstances were when they were conceived.

Answer 6

Mine are surprises, not accidents. I am pretty sure I would tell my kids the truth if they asked. I've known since I was about 10 that I wasn't a planned baby. I did a little math and realized my mom and dad weren't married when I was conceived. It makes me feel pretty good abou tit though. At least my mom didn't have an abortion or give me up for adoption.

Answer 7

I don't see the point in telling children they were an "accident". No one "accidentally" chooses to have sex, so getting pregnant is not really an accident when it happens. My parents always said I was planned and my brother was a "surprise". Thats more positive and doesn't sound like you never wanted them.

Answer 8

"Unplanned" isn't the same as "unwanted." Your mom was probably as happy then as you are now. But I think knowing the circumstances of their conception has the potential to make any child uncomfortable. If you do tell them, wait until they are teenagers, or even adults, and have a mature understanding of the odd ways of the world.

Answer 9

Nope, I don't beleive ANY pregnancy is an accident. An accident is when you don't know something may or may not happen. Anytime you CHOOSE to have sex you are aware that you may or may not get pregnant therefore you CHOOSE the outcome of havingsex. I did tell my daughter she was a very pleasant surprise because I had resigned myself to never having children when I found out I was pregnant for her but accident? Nope...I CHOSE to have sex.

Answer 10

WELL over half the world's population is unplanned. It isn't anything to be ashamed of!

We weren't expecting to have my daughter when we did, but it was a pleasant surprise and she is the BIGGEST blessing in our lives. So if she ever asks if she was planned...I'll tell her just what I told you...most people AREN'T planned and how amazingly blessed we are to have her!