Who is responsible for raising children?

Question

In a college course I taught, we debated the government's role in "raising" kids. I said it was inappropriate of the government to create laws like anti-bullying and to force games like Grand Theft Auto to have a "mature" label.

One of my students vehemently disagreed with me saying she is a single parent, and she doesn't always have time to track everything her child does. She said she couldn't be everywhere her child was to make sure her child was safe or making smart decisions.

I thought to myself, "Maybe you shouldn't have become a parent," but I didn't say it. I'm sure I would have been called insensitive.

Is it the government's responsibility to create anti-bullying laws and put labels on CDs and games to help parents, or is it the parent(s)' responsibility to monitor and inform their own kids?

Here is an anti-bullying story from my hometown:
(http://www.dmregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070125/NEWS/70125035/1001)

timjim: What's wrong with labeling items? Well, here are a couple of things that I find wrong with it:

1) Someone's perception of what is "inappropriate" for kids to listen to damages the reputation of the musician. For instance, Sarah McLachlan uses the word "f*ck" once in one of her songs on an older CD. Wal-mart labeled it. A parent who relies on those labels will ignore that music because of someone else's judgment.

2) Cost. It costs someone to research what is inappropriate. It costs someone to make those labels. It costs the government time and money to debate over what is inappropriate and such. And that money will always be passed on to the consumer and the taxpayer whether we agree with it or not.

Answer 1

I believe that children should have some recourse from bullies, not just because parents are too busy to raise them anymore (and it's not just single parents anymore. The majority of parents are too busy to raise their children properly these days.) but because schools are also not supervising children anymore and we have to send them! My kids spend many hours out of my sight, and not because I want to, but because the truant officer would be knocking on my door if they didn't. Well they better darn well be able to call the cops if someone is hassling them at the busstop or at school. Otherwise, how can I in good conscience tell them not to get in fights? How can you tell a kid that they can't deck the kid who harrasses them day in and day out if the principal just doesn't give a damn (and they don't). And in absence of bullying laws, what do you propose I do? Kick the offending child's *** myself? Somehow I think that would be frowned upon. Talk to their parents- have you ever tried to talk to a bully's parent? They invariably outweigh me by about 200 pounds and present dishevelled and angry baring fists the size of hams. I'll take the kid, thank you.

As far as labelling, I believe labels are important to protect the consumer, it has nothing to do with parenting. I have no idea what's on that CD until I bring it home and play it, do I? When I go to the store to buy a game, I want to get an idea of what it's going to be like. I would be horrified if I brought home a game, clueless, and started playing it with my kids- because we do play them together- and it was full of blood, swearing and prostitutes. More horrified than they would be, I can tell you. I want that warning label so I don't waste my money on something I'm not going to use- and once it's open I can only trade it back for a tiny fraction of what I paid for it. When my mother calls and asks if she should buy this video game, I ask her for the rating. It's about letting the consumer know what they're paying for, not about the government raising peoples kids. I decide what rating my kids can play and what rating of movies they can watch (and it's higher than most parents, I imagine, because I have a higher opinion of my kids brainpower than most parents I know.)

Instead of complaining about these things, let's get the government out of our homes and schools. Let's teach kids what they need to survive in the world in school instead of crap to a test so they can get funding. Sex ed is a joke, Home ec and shop doesn't even exist anymore and they only get a half semester of languages, hello? And I'm not even going to touch the propeganda they're taught in History class. Art and music. Gone. So my poor children must live in a world full of prudish uncultured xenophobes who don't know how to cook or use a condom? (Cause goodness knows their parents don't have time to teach em) Who are they going to marry? I shudder. If we have to send them, then we, the parents of the local community, should be deciding what they learn.

And can we get rid of the stupid laws that say your kids can't sleep in your bed with you? Hello, centuries of attachment parenting and now there's a law? Please. There are some sick twisted perves making these laws thinking up stuff most of us wouldn't dream of.

Answer 2

Government is responsible for laws that protect society but parents need to protect their children and pay attention to what they are doing. Anti Bully laws, Zero Tolerance laws and the No Child left behind may have seemed like good ideas when created but are causing so many problems in our schools and communities it is unbelievable. Ratings are helpful and I appreciate them but it is my job to use and enforce them I resent the efforts of governing parties to enter my home with their morals. Consider that the once popular kid show YuGi Oh was teaching a spiritual dogma and had a rating of Y7 when "souls" were up for trade - I personally exercised my V-chip to block it but many parents I know never even watched it. Parents need to pay attention and screen what their children are doing and the government needs to set societal guidelines to help us out.

Answer 3

1. The mother
2. The father
3. Society (via school)
4. Relatives, friends
5. Neighbors and other people the child may interact with

> single parent, and she doesn't always have time to track everything her child does.
Your student is already known for not making good decisions. Note that a father isn't in the picture for her child. Boys overwhelmingly grow up feral without fathers.

Answer 4

I agree with you, it's the parents' responsibility, and if they aren't up to it, they should give the child up for adoption by some people who ARE up to it. The government has no business playing mommy and daddy.

timjim, the problem is that our tax dollars are being spent on crap. they could actually be doing something USEFUL with that money. It's not like the parental warnings DO anything, except act as a selling point.

Answer 5

Everyone is responsible for raising children.
Parents, the local community, schools, churches, leaders, Pollies.

Every one has to take part. If a community member sees soemthing they dont think is right, they should speak up.

Yes, it's a risk. Better an adult risk their own stature in a town, than for a child be forever injured by occurance over which they have no control.

Answer 6

It is the parents job to raise children, but what is wrong with labeling music or movies and letting a parent know that the stuff there kids want to buy (because everyone else has it) is really nothing but pure profanity and smut.

Answer 7

http://www.jonhs.net/911/

I am in between on this issue, i think it is good to have labels on products, refusing to sell to minors, i am uncertain...... Schools are state ran and bullying is a problem caused by forcing children together without enough parental involvement...... the list of problems is too long to even begin,,,,,,

But innately it is the grandparents responsibility to be close to children, and pass on their wisdom and love,,,, I see this as the greates problem in our children,,,,, this lack creates most of the social ills today.....

Answer 8

I'm with you. Children are not fashion accesories.

I would add that we hand them over to schools for 7 hours a day, so teachers have a secondary role.

Answer 9

"It takes a village to raise a child."
Unfortunately, we have very few villages left in the U.S.