i have a friend, i dont know if i can really call him a friend because he (spread such lies about me that i lost all my close friends and i was isolated for almost a year. now my friends know the truth and they have all come and apologised to me and said they were sorry for hurting me and believeing the friend. for all his lies. we were drinking yesterday and we got to this topic where i cried my heart out for all the days we suffered and everything they had done to me. but this friend of mine didnot agree to some of the lies ( my friends are still inviting him to the parties at my insistance because i know how it feels to feel lonely cus i have been thru that myself) and i started hitting him and i hit him so bad that he is now a little hurt, nothing serious just scatches and wounds here and there. but i feel a little guilty now. the guy is my house mate and i dont know how to deal with the situation? i wish i didnt hit him but he hurt me so bad....
2007-01-25 08:24:18 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I know it may not be "cool" for a guy to express his feelings, but dude, you need to. Tell your "Friend" what he did to make you want to hurt him. In a way you wanted to hurt him. You got drunk and you did it. But just applogize to him and let him know that he hurt you by being a jerk and spreading all those lies. Now, the wrong way would to be a jerk to him and do the same thing. Don't sink down to his level be the better person and approach him and tell him that you are sorry for the way that you acted and see if the problem can be resovled. The dude just might have been jelious of you and wanted to take all the attention away from you and to himself. I could do a whole speech on his life, lol, but I won't bore you with it. Just applogize and be over with it.
2007-01-25 08:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by angels_killed_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needed to move on! Forgiveness is great, but you need to have priorities in your life. I could see getting into it with a family member, and down the road making up. But when so called friends hurt you that deeply, it's time to move on and chalk it up to experience and find more worthy friends. Life is to short to feel such hurt from so called friends. A true friend would never do such a thing in the first place. It's great you have a forgiving heart, but it should be used on people who deserve it! Ask yourself why you need their approval? You need to be better than that! Shame on you for giving someone another chance at your integrity! Think of all the good people out there, that have better morals, like you! You know that old saying, YOU ARE WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE! For some reason, I don't see this with you, and the people you are choosing to hang with now. I would wash my hands of these people and move on. What makes you think this can't happen all over again? NONE!!!! As for the guy you beat up, your lucky he didn't call the Police on you. That right there shows you, you need to move on and make new friends!!!! No-one is worth all that pain, except maybe family!!
2007-01-25 09:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he spread so much lies about you then he's not someone you should keep close. Especially if it put you through a year of losing and re-gaining friends and loneliness and all that jazz. I can see why you would feel bad seeing how you insisted on inviting him places so he wouldn't be left out, while you had good intentions it's kinda your fault that it happened, which im sure you're aware of and dont want to hear. But anyway, while you were hitting him did he try to fight back? Because if not, then im assuming he feels guilty for what he did to you and felt like he deserved it..unless he was too drunk to fight back. The best thing to do would be to talk to him and try to get him to understand that you were drinking and got angry and blew up for what he did to you. I'd suggest try to find out why he spread lies about you in the first place.
2007-01-25 08:37:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, drinking isn't condusive to having any kind of meaningful discussion, and was probably part of the reason you struck this person.
Secondly, no one has a right to hit anyone for any reason, unless it is in self-defense.
I believe I would first apologise to him, then find another place to live, or another housemate, as even if one forgives, forgetting is another matter. I foresee problems with this relationship in the future. Too much water has gone under the bridge. So build another bridge.
And in the future, keep your hands to yourself, even if the person is a creep.
2007-01-25 08:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him seriously tell him that you are sorry for hitting him and hug him and tell him to forget what has happened between the two of you in the past and start a new leaf. Swallow your pride since you are now housemates and there is no way you can avoid seeing him everyday. Patch up and be friends again. Be humble and you will be happy.
2007-01-25 08:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were awfully kind to not only forgive him but not want to isolate him, you could have done him great harm socially as your friends were willing to ignore him for what he did to you. he's a jerk for not owning up to the lies he spread. i think one thing you could do is get together with him privately or even have someone you both trust to mediate this, no drinking just talking and telling him how you feel and giving him a chance to make it right. if he is still unwilling to do whats right then allow him to suffer some of the consequences of what he's caused. let your friends ignore him if they want sometimes that is enough to make someone see how wrong they are. too forgive yourself for attacking him, its over and i doubt you will do it again...and lets face it he deserved what he got.
2007-01-25 08:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first step to take is forgive him. if your friends realise what he did and have apologised to you for shutting you out, then please forgive him. on the other hand it was wrong to hit him but there's nothing a smile and i'm sorry can't make go away. after this is done, take your friend out for a drink alone and the two of you should really talk about the situation and what it has done to both of you and your friendship. i belive the healing should start from ther. good luck
2007-01-25 08:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by brownsugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a bigger person, apologize for hitting him(not for the anger but for the violence,that is never justified), but tell him you expect an apology too, you need to talk things over...especially if you are in such close contact.. Good luck
2007-01-25 08:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether he hurt u or not u have no right to put ur hands on him. plenty of people have hurt me during my life-time and no matter how bad i wanted to him them i didnt. i realize that i have probably made people mad before to the point that they want to hit me too and i wouldnt want them to do that. would u? say ur sorry for losing ur cool. talk to him about all the hurt u have been through. tell him that u just lost it cause u were so upset. tell him u want to patch things up. if u dont things will never be the same and he wont forgive u for the incident.
2007-01-25 08:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of in the same situation, i am moving out to get away from a friend that is a jerk and he talks to me like I am sh*t. Most of my friends are mutual friends of his and when i tell him to f*ck off i will be losing most of those mutual friends, so i will have to start over from ground zero, but i think its for the best. Take it from me, people don't change, i would suggest to part ways with that person and meet some new friends.
2007-01-25 08:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋