Please help!?

Question

I want a baby so much!!! I'm not even 16 yet but my boyfriend and I are incredibly happy and both really want children. I know I'm too young but I cant help feeling this way. What should i do?

Answer 1

You sound like when the time comes you would make a great mom. But please hold off and I'll try to explain why.
You probably want the best for your child. If you have a baby now, you will not be giving that child the best. First, you need to be 18 to do several things that require signatures and lawful matters. There is more than just being able to work and drive to support a baby. Go shopping and look at the price of car seats (you have to have one or they won't let you bring baby home from hospital). Not to mention, clothes, diapers, wipes, high chair, cribs, sheets, and on and on and on. Going to pre-natal visits and hospital charges would make you cringe. Some people have a hard time affording this even with insurance. You need health insurance for you and baby. You don't want to be a burden on others by asking them to shell out money for you. If you are the parent, it is your job to provide what a child needs, not your parents or his. To get a really clear picture of this, before you make any plans get out a pencil and paper and write down all the needs of a baby and what it will cost. Then write down all the income you have. Who has a job, house, and so on. Just see what it will cost for one month and if you can make that much in a month.
Plus, I know you think you are mature, and you probably see adults who are less mature than you, but in reality you have a lot more to learn. Think of when you were 12 and how much you changed in 4 years. That is how much more you will change again when you turn 20. I'm sure your baby will deserve a mother who can relate and teach from personal life experience. You will miss out on so much.
To get a taste of motherhood, do this for two weeks. Set your alarm clock to go off every two hours. Then get up, hold sack of flour while in a rocking chair for 10 to 20 minutes at a time. Then get up at 6 a.m. Get in two ten minute naps in the day. That is a very good test and very close to reality.
Even if it is hard being a Mom, you understand that you will love this child. but do not have a baby because it is what you want, don't let this be about you. To be a good mom, it needs to be about the baby, have a baby for the childs sake. Do this when you know you have gone through enough of this life to be not just a good mom, but the best so you can provide for your child. It will be miserable and unfulfilling to have a child when you are focused on you and your needs.
You have a lot of love in you want to share. For now, volunteer to be a big sister or mentor. See if there is some babysitting you can do. Be gernerous with your time to make others lives better. This will give you a chance to share your caring heart and let others show kindness back to you. Plus it is a great way to learn about giving to others and will help you for the day when it is right to have a baby. Wait until your married, I'm sure you want the baby to have the best which is a mom and dad who are commited to eachother.

Answer 2

I wish I could tell you how hard it is to rear a child. how much your personal freedom is curtailed; and make no mistake about it - it will be YOUR freedom that suffers, not your boyfriends.
I wish I could tell you how much else life holds for you besides a baby.
How are you to live? How will your body cope with a pregnancy?
Not even 16? Please reconsider. Consider the life you want to bring into the world; consider how you are going to provide for this small person.
The need to hold a baby in your arms is the most powerful urge in the world. But hold out for it. Give yourself at least another 6 - 10 years of good living before you have a baby. You may not even be with the same man.
My daughter had a baby at 16. She though all she wanted in the world was her own baby. She gave no thought to the future. She thought that I would somehow be there for her all the time, but I had a job, and needed to work. She was at home all day with a very cranky baby, while her friends were out with boyfriends, having a great time, as you should when you are 16.
Finally, she ran away, leaving her baby with me, saying she was unable to cope. I reared my grandaughter for two years, then she came back having decided she wanted to be a mum again.
She knows now that she was too young at 16 to have any idea what it was about.
Don't do it

Answer 3

Having a child is an incredible responsibility, not to mention exhausting, stressful and relentless. I have three very much loved and cherished children, but I wouldn't paint a rosy picture of parenthood to a young girl like yourself. Live your life a little bit more, hold on to your dream of being a mummy, but don't go chasing it just yet.

What else interests you, do you want to go to college or university? Or get an apprenticeship or something similar? If you did have a baby, how would you support him/her and I don't just mean financially? I'm sure you've already thought of these things and deep down you know it's not a good idea just yet. It's nice that you want to be a parent and that you look forward to having kids, there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Would you consider looking into a career in childcare, or maybe paediatric nursing, or maybe midwifery?

I'm sure you'll make a good choice and (eventually) make a great mum! :-)

Answer 4

Well, you're only sixteen years old. Children- especially babies, are absolutely adorable. I'm sure you could be a fantastic parent, but I feel that you are missing some things.

1. Once you become a parent, you have responsibilities. You have to be able to watch them at all times and shouldn't be dumping them on your parents.

2. You have to be able to support your child with a job. If you don't have a good enough salary to raise a child, then it's too early to have one.

3. How are you going to manage your education, a good paying job, and a healthy child at once?

4. You won't be able to do some things you always dreamed of doing. People who have kids at early ages always wished they waited longer- so they actually had time to travel and whatnot.

I'm sure having a kid will be something you find magical, but I'm sorry- I think you are way too young for it. Even 22 is kind of young.

Answer 5

I was once like that and then i had some symptoms and my bf freaked out and made me take a test and when it was neg he was happy. We thought we wanted to get married and everything. I would seriously wait till your 18 at least. Having a baby is no picnic. They cost money. If yaw both can get jobs and a place together and get finacially stable then married maybe. But honestly please finish school. Cuz you never know once you do get preg he may leave you no matter how much love there was. I saw that my bf got scared cuz i may be preg. and i knew then he really didn't love me the way we talked about. and we ended up breakin up later on. You may be ready but he may not be no matter what he says. Im 19now and married.people judge but me and my husband are having a baby and are very happy together, and have our own house and all.i wouldn't change it for the world Im so glad i didn't get preg or married when i was younger cuz it would of been a mistake. And if you was so sure why would you be asking advice? I hope you wait. Good things come to those who wait.

Answer 6

First don't have a baby. The thought of a baby and actually having one are very different. It is a lot of work being a parent. You have to work 24/7. You don't get breaks. You can't just go out whenever you want. You have to get a babysitter, and you have to pay the babysitter. Plus your parents will end up taking care of the kid anyway. You're just too young. It'd be a big mistake. Get a dog or something. Once you have a baby theres no more free time. You live your life for them once they're born.

Answer 7

Grow up!! Ever person I've ever encountered who had a baby at your age turned out to be a crap parent.You lack basic life experience which helps educate your child.Sure you can't help the way you feel,but for the childs sake don't do it.You shouldn't even consider having a child with someone until you have been together for a number of years and have stability.Do you have jobs and an income to support the child?And don't say your mother will help-it's not her job or rsponsibility to do so and that is a cop out palming your child off on someone-not to mention totally unfair.You & your boyfriend haven't even become adults yet,your personalities will change over the next few years as you exprience life and your hormones begin to settle down. So don't be bloody ridiculous & immature!

Answer 8

have you finished your education? got your own house? earning money to pay for food, bills and clothing.......deciding to have a baby is a serious decision and one that will change your life forever. no more lying in bed for aslong as you like, no just getting up and going out with your friends are only a few examples. You and your bf may want children but your both to young to have that just now. Your not even 16 and so legally you shouldnt be having sex! your main concern should be making sure that you go and get a check up to make sur you and your boyfriend dont have any stds then if you insist on having sex then make sure you use contraception. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you do stay with your boyfriend then thats great but please make the most of your life first. finish school and get a job and get your boyfriend to do the same, if you want to be good parents then build a career for yourself and get money behind you as a child needs stability. its not fair for you to have a child and expect to go onto benefits and have everyone else pay for your child. Be sensible and grow up first before bringing any child into the world. thats the best thing for you to do! good luck

Answer 9

Ok... you're way too young. I can't believe you are even thinking about this yet. THat's what happens when you get a bf or gf at a young age. You feel happy with him now, but you may not be happy after a year or two. Maybe the safest thing to do right now is to break up... Sorry.

Answer 10

Actually additional.


Look at my past posts Im not one of these dont do it till you are over 21 and married respect your virginity types.

So you know I aint talking crap.

****

What you are feeling is common..


However its a hormone thing overriding you brain a bit like wanting a pet dog.

Dogs homes are full of people who saore a puppy went ahh I want to mummy that.


Only after the novelty wore off with all the poop cleaning, , damaged furniture, having to walk it in the rain, etc.


Many ended up sad doggies waiting in the pound for the long one way walk.

Likewise kids like you may think you want a baby but once reality sets in where you will hardly ever be able to hang out with you mates or go to parties andy more or on holiday with mates or do anything without really expensive panned bay sitters etc...


All the screaming... Cant have fun, All money going on siad kid when you want to have fun and you cant...

Not so fun then only you can't take it back to the shop as you want to go uni or travelling around europe and asia and go gladstonebury.

Get mum to put you on implants or a depro injection before you do something silly you will regret.

Tell parents and ask for help bit like an addict with withdrawl symptoms.

And stay in the house of somone with a baby for a week and shadow them with all the screaming and nappies and no time for yourself, no sleep, no going out, no fun , no money etc...